Thank you, all of you.
I am going home hopefully tomorrow (Monday) And since I did SRS, my view of life has changed under a few days. The last months when I was pre-op. I didn't really care about SRS. I felt that life wasn't good, but neither bad...it was OK and manageable. I had then plans to join Hemvärnet (Swedish National Guard) as a specialist and was really looking forward to start the training. At home, I use to play games a lot on my computer and was mostly alone, but then again...manageable, since I've been alone most of my life. But at this time when I was pre-op, I wanted that people would know who I was, and not for being a transsexual. I wanted to be among people to have cozy movie evenings, making and eating dinner together and so on. I was sure that I wanted this even after SRS...
...but then SRS arrived and everything changed. When I was laying night after night and starring at the roof and was just thinking over and over again: "I did SRS. What do I value now?" And the answer every time I asked that question to myself was the same every night: "Myself".
I think that trying to put effort in joining the Swedish National Guard, making profiles on different friend seeking community, only to let people to know me, won't lead to anything that I wished for.
