male rituals

[sam1234]

Since F to Ms start hormones and surgery after they are 18, has anyone else felt that they missed out on some crucial development? Jokes, language, dating etc. are part of growing up if you were born xy. It seems like a small thing, especially since our brains are male anyway, but when I was younger, I felt like there was a small barrier between an xy male and an xx male.

Now that I am older, it no longer makes a difference, but i have always wondered if others felt the same way.

Sam1234

[Mackan]

I dont feel that way but I have 3 brothers that I would hang out with constantly as a kid and my dad would always let me join in on the "boy" stuff. He never treated me as if I where weaker than my brothers or anything and I think that helped alot. When we would get into fights like siblings do he would always stay out of it and say that he would just let us keep going until someone won and then make us shake hands afterwards haha. As far as dating I dated females since I was about 16 so I don't think I've missed much on that part either.

I feel lucky in that I have been brought up the way I have cus that helped me alot.

I started T when I just turned 20 about a week earlier and that's the only thing I wish I could have done sooner. But unfortunately its not allowed in my country even with you're parents consent.

[CursedFireDean]

I want my dad to teach me to shave. I'm waiting for some more facial hair to grow but I'm definitely gonna ask him to teach me to shave since I didn't need that at first puberty.

[sam1234]

Thanks guys. My parents didn't treat me any different from my two brothers either. In elementary school, I'd play soccer with the guys, and hang out some after school. Any time we had to do a play in school, I would insist on playing a male role or I would refuse to participate. I was aggressive and strong. Fifth grade was really where the major problems started. All my male friends shunned me, thinking I was a weird girl, and the girls wanted nothing to do with me. It was pretty obvious to them that I wasn't one of them. Girls had to wear a one piece blue striped short/top thing in gym, and i can tell you it was really embarrassing and humiliating.

Where I grew up, transgenders were a joke. If one person wanted to insult another kid, they would say "your mother went to Sweden to get a sex change. I had no idea that transitioning was real. At 18 I started attempting suicide. Shrinks kept putting me on meds I didn't need and despite my dress, demeanor and speech pattern, none of them picked up on it. When I was 26, one finally did. Instead of trying to treat a girl with a mental problem, he saw the man trapped in the wrong body. The relief was tremendous.

What blew my mind was when I went back to my old guidance counsellor in high school to have my transcripts change to male, she said they knew something was really wrong and would talk about it in their conference room. Not one of them ever asked me if I was ok. That's old though. I guess whether you feel like you missed out on some coming of age rituals depends on where you lived and current information.

Sam1234

[Mackan]

If one person wanted to insult another kid, they would say "your mother went to Sweden to get a sex change

As a swede im very surprised that they would say that :-o

[Cindy]

If one person wanted to insult another kid, they would say "your mother went to Sweden to get a sex change

As a swede im very surprised that they would say that :-o

Enough of the stupid insults.

Otherwise I shall be displeased. You don't want a displeased Cindy on your case!

[youngbuck]

This an interesting question. I think my answer is both yes and no.

I'm very close to my older brother, so when I was growing up, I spent a lot of time with him and his friends, and I had a lot of male friends of my own -- two of the best friends I had as a kid/preteen were guys. I'm also much more stereotypically masculine than my brother, so my dad and I bonded a lot over things like sports that my brother had no interest in. For the most part, my parents were content to just let me be myself outside of the typical gender norms, which is something I appreciate to this day.

That being said, I do often feel like I missed out. I wish I could have been in Boy Scouts, played football, or even just relived some of the stuff I experienced as a boy instead. (I may have been seen as "one of the guys" by my friends, but transitioning has taught me there's a very wide gulf between that experience and actual male interaction.) It feels like I'm playing catchup sometimes, and there's a sense of loss as well. Many people are haunted by their childhood, though, so I'm hardly alone in that regard.

[Dex]

I'm kind of in the same boat as youngbuck. Other than making me stop wearing he-man underwear when I got to be school aged and forcing me to wear a shirt, my parents more or less were fine with me being nonconforming gender wise. I grew up on a farm though so I was seen as "tom boy" and treated the same as my younger brother without any issues. I always had more male friends and was always essentially "one of the guys". I have always appreciated my parents willingness to let me be me, but I do feel a sense of loss over not being able to go through male puberty when I should have vs at the age of 30 and of not being socially read as a boy/man for all those years even if there were no restrictions on how I could behave.

I also second what was mentioned about how different male interaction is now with people who don't know me from before vs just being "one of the guys". There is just a different feel to it... A different way of being.... It's hard to describe accurately. So I do feel behind sometimes because I am always questioning if what I do or say is normal or not. Though that could just be my insecurity and/or dysphoria. I'm proud to be my own man and I wanted to retain some of the things that I felt were important to who I was before even if they weren't stereotypically male. I wanted to still feel emotion deeply, I wanted to still be affectionate with my wife and be verbal about how much she and our children mean to me, I wanted to still be even keeled and a peacemaker. T hasn't changed any of that in me. But I still want to fit in with cismen, if that makes sense.

[Mackan]

As a swede im very surprised that they would say that :-o


Enough of the stupid insults.

Otherwise I shall be displeased. You don't want a displeased Cindy on your case!

I didnt mean to insult sorry If it came of that way. It's a stupid comment of them to say and I don't know where Sweden came in to the picture, I guess its our reputation and that's what surprised me.

[Cindy]

As a swede im very surprised that they would say that :-o


Enough of the stupid insults.

Otherwise I shall be displeased. You don't want a displeased Cindy on your case!

I didnt mean to insult sorry If it came of that way. It's a stupid comment of them to say and I don't know where Sweden came in to the picture, I guess its our reputation and that's what surprised me.

It wasn't you I was angry at!

[sam1234]

My apologies if I stepped on any toes with the Sweden thing. I was just explaining how things were. If anything, they probably picked Sweden because they had heard somewhere that it could be done there. Some countries are more liberal than others when it comes to certain issues. Anyway, relaying my memory was not intended to insult anyone.

Sam1234