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Epiphany, At Last!

Started by StrykerXIII, February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM

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StrykerXIII

I had a real breakthrough today. Since my job gives me a lot of time to just sit around and think, I was able to channel that into positive thought and self-reflection, rather than the usual self-depreciating "boo-hoo" talk.

I finally know who I am.

I identify as female, but at this point I have no intention of transitioning - I don't feel that it's right for me. The post-operative life doesn't sound very pleasing to me. It's not a case of "ooh that's intimidating", it's just not sounding like my thing. Obviously, I need to speak with a therapist to be 100% on this, but I'm at about 85%-90% on it.

I'm no longer worried about passing. So long as I can look in the mirror and love who's looking back, so what if I get clocked? I'm beautiful in my own eyes, and that's all that matters.

And while I do carry a concern about transgender hate and how it could affect me, I know that there are people who have my back. My SO's the biggest source of comfort for me there - she's already proven she'll go through hell and back for my sake.

I can't describe how I feel right now. It's like a humongous burden has been lifted from my shoulders...and it's thanks to this site. Having the resources available to really look into my situation...that's what led to this. That, and all the wonderful people here.

My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.
To strive to reach the apex of evolution is folly, for to achieve the pinnacle is to birth a god.

When the Stryker fires, all turn to dust in its wake.
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Cindy

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
I had a real breakthrough today. Since my job gives me a lot of time to just sit around and think, I was able to channel that into positive thought and self-reflection, rather than the usual self-depreciating "boo-hoo" talk.

I finally know who I am.

I identify as female, but at this point I have no intention of transitioning - I don't feel that it's right for me. The post-operative life doesn't sound very pleasing to me. It's not a case of "ooh that's intimidating", it's just not sounding like my thing. Obviously, I need to speak with a therapist to be 100% on this, but I'm at about 85%-90% on it.

I'm no longer worried about passing. So long as I can look in the mirror and love who's looking back, so what if I get clocked? I'm beautiful in my own eyes, and that's all that matters.

And while I do carry a concern about transgender hate and how it could affect me, I know that there are people who have my back. My SO's the biggest source of comfort for me there - she's already proven she'll go through hell and back for my sake.

I can't describe how I feel right now. It's like a humongous burden has been lifted from my shoulders...and it's thanks to this site. Having the resources available to really look into my situation...that's what led to this. That, and all the wonderful people here.

My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.

And you should be very proud to be a beautiful, strong determined woman.
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Ms Grace

Hugs! Always nice to get that kind of epiphany! :)
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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StrykerXIII

I've said it once and I'll say it again, forums need to have "like" buttons for posts. Cindy, you were the first person to make me feel right at home here. And Ms. Grace, you're one of the ones I look up to the most - there's just something comforting and motherly about your avatar picture.
To strive to reach the apex of evolution is folly, for to achieve the pinnacle is to birth a god.

When the Stryker fires, all turn to dust in its wake.
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Cindy

She does look like an old Gran! Just needs knitting needles!

<Cindy decides that witness protection looks good>
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StrykerXIII

Quote from: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 02:19:35 AM
She does look like an old Gran! Just needs knitting needles!

<Cindy decides that witness protection looks good>

:icon_giggle:

I was thinking more like a southern mama, or that one auntie that always calls out "Y'all be good now, y'hear?" when you leave her house after a long day of grilling, playing in the creek, and catching lightnin' bugs.  :icon_hug: Ah, I miss farm life sometimes.
To strive to reach the apex of evolution is folly, for to achieve the pinnacle is to birth a god.

When the Stryker fires, all turn to dust in its wake.
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Sabrina

Congrats on being proud of who you are.
- Sabrina

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stephaniec

#7
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Devlyn

"My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am."

Big hug! Yay for self acceptance!

Hugs, Devlyn
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katrinaw

That's such a defining moment for you and you are now at that point you are free to be as you wish to be and feel at ease and peace with yourself  :eusa_clap:

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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kao

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.

Woo when I had my moment it was a great relief and even with the delays/rejections I had just after, my life has never been better

as you put in the thread I started

"The long and the short of it is, be bold. Be fearless. Be you. Because you're beautiful, and that's all that matters. To quote mama Ru - if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else!?"

words I will hold onto and like many others here you bring light to those who need help by been you because you are awesome :)

btw Stryker sound like an awesome name for a RPG character lol
Labels and closets are for fashion, not people
Boxes are for items, not ideas
Moulds are for desserts, you arn't supposed to fit
Live life your own way
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