problems in bed (bit graphic)

[Atypical]

Yeah, awkward. So, I've been on T for a little over 4 months. I've never been small downstairs and now I'm slightly over two inches, with the head quite bulbous and sticking out of the foreskin.

I've also become a LOT less sensitive, likely from constant contact with my undergarments/whatever. That's better than the hypersensitivity I was experiencing before, but damn. It's hell to get off anymore. Masturbation is a desperate attempt to stroke the entire thing to get enough sensation, and my partner's attempts of pleasuring me have been failing left and right. She's tried everything, and I've tried to direct her, but it doesn't work. On top of that, she gets frustrated she can't satisfy and then we're both just sitting there feeling bad and uncomfortable afterward.

So, yeah. I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this and what they did?

[Cynobyte]

It happens to cis men too:)  maybe tomorrow you will be in the mood.  Watch porn, get a script for mild viagra.  But the more frustrated you get, it's just a downward spiral after that.  Just stop, take a break, and try again later..

[Atypical]

Honestly, it's been this way for months. lol. She's not really into porn and I don't get off on it anyways. Does viagra even work for trans guys..?

[Cynobyte]

I'm m2f and it still helps me in more than the erectile parts.  Then there are cis women who says it helps them too.
Ever try pump?  Are you in the mood?  Have to start from there?  It just took my wife thinking I was cheating on her to set my downward spiral.  After she realized it was the dysphoria and calmed down, I had no more problems either.   Stress, new meds, hormone changes..  just trying too hard..

[ScottAnthony407]

i agree with the stopping part, take a break and stop over analyzing it, thats basically what your doing,

[Vicky Mitchell]

From my personal experience as a male.  There are good days and bad days.  But over all I have learned don't stress about it. More you push for it harder it seems to get. So instead of think of that as the end goal. Go slow listen to your body feel all of your sensations taking effect and before you know it you will be there.


Vicky
MtF

[HeyTrace19]

So, yeah. I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this and what they did?

First, congrats on the growth...I have envy since I have not been so well endowed 

Maybe a little weird, but have you tried ice cubes?  Though it sounds like it may cause things to shrink, they can be a fun experience of partner play and I have had good luck with it. 

Another helpful technique for 'failed attempts' rather than sitting there together feeling bad is to verbally share what it is you each would like to physically experience, like sharing the erotic stories that play in your head.  Sometimes talking through it can be arousing!

[Shodan]

Random question: Are you taking any antidepressants? Quite a few of them make it harder to be ... um.... sexually satisfied.

[Cynobyte]

I agree on the roll playing, that could make things better.  Plus do review your meds.  Since we haven't heard back in a while, I hope all is going better?  Take care;)

[Shodan]

I agree on the roll playing, that could make things better.  Plus do review your meds.  Since we haven't heard back in a while, I hope all is going better?  Take care;)

Pet peeve of mine.  It's 'role' playing. That is, unless you're dressing up as a pair of dice. [emoji4]


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[Cynobyte]

That needs to be posted in the corny jokes column;)

[kast]

Pet peeve of mine.  It's 'role' playing. That is, unless you're dressing up as a pair of dice. [emoji4]


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Who's ready for some roll play?

[Cynobyte]

I thought it's burgertime!  She'd get mad if I was nibbling on her!

[Shodan]

Who's ready for some roll play?

ARGH! ROLE PLAY! 

[Sir Real]

ARGH! ROLE PLAY! 

I think he was making a pun with the bun being a roll. 

[Cynobyte]

We are off the subject of this column,  things are getting rather cheesy;)  hahaha

[Tysilio]

That woman has great buns.

[Atypical]

Thanks for the responses.

Nope, not on any medication aside from T.

It's not about getting turned on-- I can get turned on easily, so there's no issue there. I think maybe it's more a dysphoria thing. It's hard to get out of my head that what's being handled isn't designed the way it's supposed to be, or my partner will accidentally brush the wrong spot and then it's just over. With that in my mind, the sensation just isn't enough. Now that there's more surface area, it's like physical touch alone is just 'meh', and even if I'm in the mood, there's something that just won't let it reach that point.

I've even tried to talk to my therapist about it and she has no idea what to do.

[Tysilio]

You might ask your therapist if she can refer you to an actual sex therapist, preferably one who has experience with trans people -- I think it's not at all unusual for trans folk to have such problems, and a sex therapist should know what to do, since that's the job, pretty much.

Where are you located? I know some people who are in that end of the business who might be able to suggest someone. (PM me if you like.)

[Cynobyte]

Keep digging here.  Somebody may find it that has your issues, but solved them already..  there are 7 billion chances you may have your problem solved so don't give up;)