problems in bed (bit graphic)

[Atypical]

You might ask your therapist if she can refer you to an actual sex therapist, preferably one who has experience with trans people -- I think it's not at all unusual for trans folk to have such problems, and a sex therapist should know what to do, since that's the job, pretty much.

Where are you located? I know some people who are in that end of the business who might be able to suggest someone. (PM me if you like.)

Hey, it's all good. I live in washington.

I have no idea if I can get a sex therapist, though. I'm currently on disability and going through training to get a job I can handle, and it'll be a while until I can afford much of anything. My current care is free through medicaid.

Anything helps, though. At the least, I'm more than willing to call someone.

[Wolfy]

Yo! Totally get a brosleeve. I'm smaller than you and it works 100% for me. You can use it or let your gf use it. With the size you've got im sure it'll be perfect. If you've got a spencers go and pick one up. they're only 10 dollars. otherwise you should buy one off amazon.

[Paulette]

Role playing is what happens in your head.

So expand your mind to be both male and female, with all the goodies of each, and then drench that sucker with silicone lube, all while wearing your sexiest nightgown (it's washable, and so are the sheets.)

I had somewhat the same problem, and after trying testosterone, Viagra, Cialis, several pumps, and even direct injection, I got a penile implant. Three-piece, hydro-inflatable robocock (my name, not theirs). 

The sensation is still there and I can keep it up as long as necessary. Ejaculation isn't as powerful, but orgasm is just as good.  And my wife absolutely loves it.

My medicare pays for all but $4,000 of the $70,000 cost. I can do that much.

But it seems most (all?) HMOs will not cover it, so I had to wait until the next enrollment period and go back to original medicare. Annoying, but worth it, even though now it feels like I have three testicles. 

[DoYouRealize]

Moisturize. Try natural moisturizers: vit E oil, coconut oil, or shea butter (my fave).
This isnt a "sexytimes" thing. Its a daily self care thing.
With your growth you have gone from being uncirc'd to essentially circumcised- you may still have your foreskin but the glans is unprotected which can lead to loss of sensitivity. Keep it moist, keep the skin soft.
Even the act itself of giving tender loving care to your junk might help you feel better emotionally. But honestly, i do believe that there's a physical skin care factor here that could make a real difference. (I'm curious to know if this helps you.)

[mynameisjacob]

Try cutting down on masturbation and sex for a little while, let your sexual frustration"build up" again to the point where you just have to go rub one out. The orgasm will be a lot better

[Atypical]

Well, I'm back. It's been a couple of months and still no go. I went over a month without doing anything and was able to finish once, but only alone and after a good hour and a half.

God this sounds sad. Hah.

Bought a brosleeve, and while it's nice, it's not enough sensation for me. The tightness is fine, I used lube, etc., it's just not enough. Not close.

Been using Vaseline twice a day as a downstairs moisturizer; doctor suggested it and so far while the skin is healthier now than any other part of my body, it makes no difference. That's been going for about three weeks now.

The idea of having female 'goodies' just completely disgusts me and I don't think I could begin to find it positive. The dysphoria is pretty intense and my therapist thinks it's the culprit.

Kind of starting to feel like a lost cause.

[Skyler]

Ask your doctor/endo for estrogen cream for your genitals. This is no way will 'reverse' any changes. My endo recommended me it and said she would write a script if I desired it to aid in sex. Best of luck.

~Skyler

[Atypical]

Heh. I appreciate the advice but I don't think people quite understand what I mean about the level of dysphoria. I would sooner be a eunuch than apply estrogen to any part of my body.

I dunno man. The very concept of having female-esque anatomy makes me want to chop off things by my own hand. Estrogen being naturally in my system is something I can barely accept.

[aleon515]

Your question re: viagra working for trans guys. I am pretty sure it would. That and the one with the bathtubs (haha, can't recall the name but weird ad). I know one of the lower surgeons prescribe that one. It's prescribed occasionally to cis women.
But sounds like the problem is severe dysphoria.


--Jay

[Sapphire87]

Heh. I appreciate the advice but I don't think people quite understand what I mean about the level of dysphoria. I would sooner be a eunuch than apply estrogen to any part of my body.

I dunno man. The very concept of having female-esque anatomy makes me want to chop off things by my own hand. Estrogen being naturally in my system is something I can barely accept.

I know that feeling, opposite sideof the coin with that, but I get the same way. Been many an occasion where i've been tempted to just chop everything off and be done with it.

[Laura_7]

You might have a look here for a few thoughts :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,181089.msg1651430.html#msg1651430

I know that feeling, opposite sideof the coin with that, but I get the same way.

You might have a look here for the other side of the coin :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,185786.msg1653885.html#msg1653885


In summary, there are quite a few people who are very satisfied with powerful vibrators...
trans men, women and cis people...
well as said above all at your own risk just don't overdo it...


hugs

[Sapphire87]

I have no issues with orgasm, it was the extreme dysphoria that I was talking about

[Laura_7]

I have no issues with orgasm, it was the extreme dysphoria that I was talking about

Of course people are different... I personally have no disphoria using vibrators because they stimulate a whole area and allow for fantasies and experience kind of detached from exact body parts... at least for me...


hugs

[sam1234]

When I was married, things were very similar. I had had a phalloplasty, but it is without any sensation. I also did not have an implant to facilitate an erection. I wound up getting realistic, rubber penises, two sizes, and found a pain for briefs that would hold the rubber penis.
That worked well for my ex, she never failed to climax, sometimes several times, but it was really hard for me to get off. I wound up holding the rubber penis and rubbing that against my clitoris which the surgeon left at the base of the phalloplasty. There were times though when I couldn't get off, and my ex would complain about my anatomy when she tried to get me to cum.

You may have already tried this, but applying lubricant to the underside of the penis and using light stimulation might work.

sam1234