I am so confused...

[CapnKye]

I am male...I know that. I have worked hard for a long time to appear male (if only as a 14-year-old one). I love being referred to as "he" and as my chosen name. I love to be seen as male.

But...

I keep having these weird urges to dress up like a girl (not completely, but it has been escalating...by that, I mean, it went from wanting to wear leg warmers to seeing a girl wearing lacy black underwear and being torn between being attracted to it and wanting to wear some of my own) - even though if I look in the mirror, my dysphoria about girly features (especially in my face) give me near panic attacks.

For a while, I thought that maybe I am not "truly trans," but the thought of being called "she" makes me physically shudder and sends me into panic.

So what is wrong with me?

[ChiGirl]

First off, nothing is "wrong" with you.  Everyone has feelings they can't explain and at your age, it feels like there's something "wrong." 

I certainly can't say what's going on, but there are straight cismen who enjoy dressing in women's clothes. This a great forum to explore these feelings.  Welcome, look around, and relax.  This is a safe place.  You're not alone.

[Elis]

Nothing is wrong with you. Boys can wear clothes considered to be for girls if they want too and vice versa. I say considered as the idea that clothes have to be gendered is ridiculous. Wear whatever you want. If you're uncomfortable being refered as being a girl, then you are a trans guy. There is also such a thing as being trans non binary, I'm not an expert on that so maybe you could reasearch it and see if that fits your identity better. Just do what makes you feel comfortable. When I do eventually take T and look male I feel like I would be happy presenting fem or masc or a mixture depending on how I feel that day, so you're not alone.

[CapnKye]

First off, nothing is "wrong" with you.  Everyone has feelings they can't explain and at your age, it feels like there's something "wrong." 

I certainly can't say what's going on, but there are straight cismen who enjoy dressing in women's clothes. This a great forum to explore these feelings.  Welcome, look around, and relax.  This is a safe place.  You're not alone.

Thank you.

I guess it just seems so wrong because for the longest time, my mind has been screaming, "Boy! Boy! Boy!" And now, once I've been set it that, it's like "Lingerie!" What? It's just all confusing, but I'm very happy that there's a place like this where I can find people to help me figure things out, people who understand.

[CapnKye]

Nothing is wrong with you. Boys can wear clothes considered to be for girls if they want too and vice versa. I say considered as the idea that clothes have to be gendered is ridiculous. Wear whatever you want. If you're uncomfortable being refered as being a girl, then you are a trans guy. There is also such a thing as being trans non binary, I'm not an expert on that so maybe you could reasearch it and see if that fits your identity better. Just do what makes you feel comfortable. When I do eventually take T and look male I feel like I would be happy presenting fem or masc or a mixture depending on how I feel that day, so you're not alone.

Hm, trans non-binary...I'll have to look that up. Thank you for the help! I think that maybe it won't be so bad once I get on T as well. I just don't want to be mistaken for a girl and dressing like one obviously isn't going to help people see me as male. Bleh.

[mossyjoules]

There are tons of reason why :3

You could just be a guy who has an urge to crossdress occasionally,

you might be non-binary,

whatever the reason you see yourself as male,  and clothing don't make you who you are, just as what your sexual preferences are don't decide your gender,

I'm a transwoman and I wear some mens clothing all the time ^o^    I see myself as a tomboy,  but a woman nonetheless,

you are you, no doubt about it,  you just need to know that no matter what your preferences don't define you, nomatter how confusing they may seem

[ShadowCharms]

One of my friends is a transgender man who loves to wear dresses, and regularly does professional photo shoots in full girl mode. He identifies as male and is accepted as male by a lot of people, but just still likes being what society considers "girly". Consider that the gender norms we have as a society are pretty arbitrary. We could be living in a world where high heels, makeup, and fancy wigs are all "guy things" - the world was actually like that not that long ago. Maybe from the ridged perspective of a society with arbitrary gender norms what you like seems confusing, but in a more objective sense, it's totally fine.

I'm transitioning from male to female. I have always had a fountain of girliness inside of me, waiting to be expressed. However, that's not why I went on HRT. I never allowed myself to go on HRT for that reason. I went on HRT because when I looked at my body in the mirror, I expected to see female features. I went on hormones only so that I could be happier with my body, not so I could give myself permission to be "feminine". I don't feel that one's sex should define how they express themselves.

Basically what I'm saying is: if you feel more comfortable being physically masculine but still like to wear girly things, I see nothing wrong with that. To me, the two are totally separate things.

[Mallory]

Women's underwear: less binding/friction and they look good. Men's underwear: Restrictive, tons of friction and perspiration (especially if cotton), and they look terrible. Enough said.

[Taius]

Oh don't worry one bit about this! Things like wanting to wear or have feminine/pretty things don't make you any less of a man. I know plenty of cis and trans men who love cute, colorful and pretty things and aren't afraid to show it.

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Gender expression isn't it's own binary, it's a huge range of fluid motion. Feel free to express yourself, and explore your likes and dislikes, because as long as you're happy and confident in the fact that you are a man, no amount of sexy lace stockings can change that.

[CapnKye]

Thank you, guys, for re-teaching me that gender identity and gender expression are two different things. These "urges" passed, but I can say now that I would not be too worried or upset if they were to come back. I'm just focused on being me now. [emoji5]️