Being honest and how to lie

[Hermosa_Tabby]

I am at a kind of weird point where just about everyone I meet has no clue as to my trans-nature.

I have always been an honest sort of gal, and this puts me into a predicament. I don't really want to have to tell people about my trans nature, but I can't seem to explain my past without boxing myself in till I am forced to awkwardly lie to continue.

I don't feel like I lie when I say I am female. It's just details of my past. My past, with no reference to transitioning, was incredibly important in shaping who I am, and sharing it with others helps people understand me, but a lot of what I did is something that doesn't fit the person in front of who I am speaking. I did some very masculine sort of things.

How did some of you gals deal with this? How can I stay true to myself and keep a good conscious while lying?

[suzifrommd]

How did some of you gals deal with this? How can I stay true to myself and keep a good conscious while lying?

I never lie. Never know when the person that I'm talking to might be someone who means something to me and I will want to tell the truth to.

But I do leave out large swaths of the truth. I mention my "ex" rather than my wife, to hide her gender. I talk about my kids without mentioning I was their father, not their mother. Even talk about when I was in "the scouts" leaving out the fact that it was the boy scouts. I'll talk about my college roommate without referring to him via gender.

However, when people assume the person I was married to was a man, I don't correct them.

[stephaniec]

the only problem I have is online dating, some sites I put transgender and some sites I don't . the ones I don't tend to be challenging in when and if to say I'm trans.

[JulieBlair]

I neither hide that I am trans, nor do I brag about it.  It is a part of who I am, it does not define who I am.  If anyone is interested I am willing to talk.  I have spoken to classes, been interviewed, and written policy memoranda as a transgender woman, but I don't wear a T-girl shirt.  Unless there is a reason to disclose, I don't.  If there is, I do.  Funny thing is, my gender is not what most people are thinking about, and that is fine with me.

Julie

[Ms Grace]

I'd agree with Julie. I don't mention it to everyone that I meet and I only bother if it is relevant. I mean I presume most people work it out eventually if not straight away but that's not my concern.