Can ->-bleeped-<- run in families

[Davina]

A brief explanation of my situation.  I'm a retired transwoman  and up until I retired I was
somehow able to contain the feelings that made my life so miserable.  However after 
retiring  the dysphoria got so bad  the only choice I had was to come out to my wife and
admit to myself that I was not the man I tried so hard to be.  Once I was able to do that
I finally found peace and joy in my life.  Now to my question.  My wife and I have two
daughters who are both attractive women but my oldest daughter reminds me so much
of the struggle I had with ->-bleeped-<-.  She is a very unhappy, miserable person just
like I was at her age.  She seems angry at the entire world as I was when I struggled with
this thing.  Our youngest daughter is very feminine in everything she does  and is happy with
her life while the older daughter is quite masculine even though she is tall and slim and strikingly
beautiful but  terribly unhappy.   Both daughters have children of their own and they live close
to each other so their lives are very similar.  Of course my wife and I are concerned and I'm
beginning to suspect our older daughter is transgender  just like her father except while  I'm m/f 
she would be f/m.   I guess anything is possible so does anybody have any knowledge of this
condition being passed on from parent to child.  Bottom line is I want my daughter to be happy
so I don't want to bring this subject up because she is probably deep in denial just as I was.   

[Alexthecat]

My friend is FTM and his sibling is MTF. Maybe just help them along with how ever you figured it out. My guess is she probably already looked up trans information to better understand what you are going through.

[2fish]

Anything is possible! With that said, she could be. Maybe you can try talking to her to see if she will open up to you about what's bugging her. Could be anything really.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Women can be masculine and not trans.  Women can be masculine and unhappy without it meaning they are trans.  Maybe she has something going on in her life that you don't know about, that is causing her problems and grief.  I don't think your first reaction to seeing your child unhappy should be to jump to the conclusion that she's trans.  That's not helping her in any way.  You say she has kids, is she in a relationship with the other parent?  Perhaps she is unhappy in her relationship.  Perhaps she's having troubles at work.  Perhaps she's having troubles navigating the world as a non-stereotypically presenting woman and that's bringing her down. 

[Stevie]

  I have a transgender son and another child that is gender fluid, so maybe it does run in families. However just because someone seems to have an emotional problem does not mean it has to be gender related. 

[Davina]

I appreciate everyone's input and I realize I may be jumping to conclusions but the other day she
told her mother that she wanted to cut all her hair off so that made me think.  The other thing is
that from a very young age she has always been somewhat different and has never really been
happy as far as we can tell and I remember how it was with me when I was young.  I hope I'm
wrong because as we all know it isn't an easy road being trans and I only want the best for my
daughter.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I think you are just reading too far into things and I think the reason you are doing that is because you yourself are trans.  As trans people it's very easy for us to want to pick up on anything that seems "out of the norm" or "trans-like", but I think it's imperative that we move away from this way of thinking and reacting.  All it does is further place strengthen current gender stereotypes.  Women can have short hair.  That doesn't mean anything in regards to their gender.  A woman suddenly chopping off her hair or saying she wants to doesn't necessarily mean anything in regards to her gender.  As far as her childhood.  Children pick up on differences, if your daughter has always been somewhat different, it's highly likely that when she was young other children picked up on that and teased her.  Even if she didn't tell you about it.  That's a common thing for children to do, find someone who is different, and torment them.  That's something that can make a child unhappy.

[Contravene]

Maybe you should just find a way to ask her. If she mentions other ways she would like to appear more masculine she could be dropping hints in the hope that you'll pick up on them and ask her since sometimes it can be hard to come right out and just say "hey everyone, I'm questioning my gender" even if people would be accepting.

If she's an adult though I would think she would have already expressed to you that she's transgender especially after you have transitioned.

I believe  there's a possibility that being transgender can run in families. Most of the women on my mother'a side are very atypical and one even presented as male at times. Although that doesn't mean they're transgender I suspect a few of them were and just didn't know about such things during their time. I've also seen it in my own family. I'm transgender and my younger sister is atypical so sometimes I wonder if hormone levels during birth could have caused something and with each baby the masculinizaton lessened. If that makes sense.

[WhiteDustWolf]

I don't know what to say about your daughter. Maybe wait and see if she comes and talks to you about how she's feeling instead of jumping to conclusions just because you had a trans experience.

But regarding the "Can ->-bleeped-<- run in families?" question I'm very positive that it can - hell, I'm a living example that it can. You see, I have three siblings and all of us are trans, I'm not kidding! Two FtM and one MtF. My big sister (MtF) is already on hormones, post-op and everything and I'm waiting to start hormones (should receive hormone receipt any day, so excited!) and my twin brother (FtM) is still in an early phase of getting help but he definitely identifies as male and is very much like me. My hormone doctors have shown interest in our family because of all us siblings being trans; maybe that's the reason they wanted extra-many blood tests from me before they let me start hormone treatment lol...

[Bimmer Guy]

I believe that there is no study that has shown that ->-bleeped-<- have a genetic link (unlike sexual orientation), and they have been done.

I concur with everything wheat thins are delicious as said, and I believe is very good advice.  I wouldn't even consider that she was trans* unless she told me she was.

[aleon515]

I've heard enough anecdotes to believe it does. But I agree there haven't been in any studies or anything to prove this. Until then, I would let her take the lead. Allow her to decide how she presents, what name she'd like to be called (I'm still saying "she" as I don't know otherwise), etc. Ask her if she'd like to talk to someone and find someone who is competent in gender (along with everything else). Yes, I wouldn't assume transgender, but I wouldn't assume "not transgender". Btw, one way that she is different than you, is that she has a caring parent, who will be at her side instantly.

BTW, the several cases I know of, are FTMs with children who are MTFs. So it can definitely cross the gender line like that.

--Jay