Why I haven't had any "glow" lately

[ImagineKate]

Sorry for another of Kate's problems thread but this probably deserved its own.

So I was told I have no "glow" in my pictures lately. Yes, this is true. BUT since I like being positive I'll start with the good news.

I'm getting Yeson voice surgery scheduled. So in a few months I'll be on my way to Korea. I am super duper excited.

My mom has been awesome about my transition. Full acceptance. One of my brothers as well has been really accepting. My other brother hasn't said anything but he usually goes along with stuff.

I am seeing positive physical changes on HRT. Yay me! I'm loving it.

My kids love me. They ask questions but they are fine.

And of course all of you wonderful sisters and brothers at Susan's, especially those that I keep in close contact with.

Now the bad stuff.

My dad has gone totally silent on me. Won't email won't answer or return my phonecalls. He talks to my brother nearly every day. Not a word about me.

I have no idea where the money goes. I even cut back on my already minimal transition expenses and the money still runs dry. I mean I don't even buy clothes these days. I have the money set aside for Yeson but I'm not touching that.

I just feel so...ugly these days. No other way to describe it. Maybe it's the facial hair removal which seemed to be going absolutely nowhere since I started electrolysis in October.

My wife? We are undoubtedly drifting apart. She gets upset when we talk about transition stuff, so I try to avoid talking about it. I still love her a lot even though I'm not really that attracted to women anymore. We conflict about a lot of stuff. For example when I talked about my name change she asked if we'd still be married and if I wanted to be married. I asked her if she wanted to and she had no answer. She also gets upset and I think is a little passive agressive about stuff.

I have a friend who I came out to and now he can't stop bugging me to hang out with him. I think he's hitting on me to be honest because he says I'm beautiful. Um, not my type but I don't want to lose him as a friend. Don't know what to do to be honest.




So yeah, this is why I have less of a glow these days. My dad is the major issue. I loved him a lot. When I was little we were together all the time. I want him to accept me, that's all I want.

[Jade_404]

Well

I glow so bright I am giving some of mine to you!!! You can keep it, let it build up and burst out of you like an alien! to share with others! Its infectious !

The face hair thing sucks, its the thing I am probably most bothered by on myself, aside from my huge ... adams apple and um nvm. But yeah, when I feel the bristles growing in, my heart sinks... it sux bad. I don't have a lot but it does depress me, from time to time.

All I can say is just keep glowing, if the wife and Dad and others see this glow, well eventually they will be infected. Hope your Dad comes to terms... me, I have not even talked to my Dad about it.. He used to call me nasty names when I was little.... so when I come out to him I plan on blaming it on his meanness anyway... hehehehe  or blame his genetics... something. So far all my family I told has been like "Duh... I am not surprised... do what makes you happy"

So I got plenty of glow to share.  you can have 78.4% of it today. I will need about 12 hrs to recharge it and then I will give u more 

-Jade

[April_TO]

There's a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. Like I said in my previous post don't let your current situation blind you from what's ahead.

Do you want that instant glow? Get a bronzer and swirl it around your temple, cheeks and jaw. Instant glow

xoxo

April

[ImagineKate]

Thanks Jade and April. It means a lot.

As for dad he will come around some day. This isn't the first time he stopped talking to me.

[katrinaw]

Hi Kate, probably explains what I commented to in your "sired" thread.

Be strong and take our support and hugs to get you through, you have provided the same to so many others.

Love Katy