What gender means? (cis person wanting help understanding)

[inaRehT]

I've never really questioned why someone would transition before, I've always just considered it something people do. I also don't really care about my gender much, like I'm male but I'd probably be just as happy as female, I'm not really attached to my gender, so while I've always been a bit of an advocate for transgender rights I've never really understood it very well.

To get to my actual point:
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine a while back and we were talking about various rights injustices. I mentioned Leelah, and my friend was wondering why it was an issue for youth. I believe she said something about adults having the freedom to transition, and she asked something along the lines of "The only difference between men and women is sex organs, right? If people transition because the feel like they should have the opposite sex organs, then why would it matter if you're not old enough to do anything sexual? If the reason for transitioning is more gender role oriented, then shouldn't we be simply focusing more effort on eliminating gender roles?" I realized I didn't know enough to argue with her, and I'm hoping that someone can educate me? I've seen a couple post similar to this, but nothing that explains it well enough that I feel like I could argue the point with someone with a more critical mind than me.

[amber roskamp]

thank you for taking the time to educate yourself on this topic.

I don't really know how to define gender. it is really complicated actually. there is a large part that is just a social construct (gender roles) and there is a neurological subconscious part (gender identity). Gender identity is definitely more noticeable for a trans person because the don't feel like they are the gender they are perceived as, but everyone has a gender identity just if you are cis then yours matches that of your perceived sex and there is no way you can detect it. You will often here trans women talking about feeling right when presenting female or after taking hormones for the first time. when your gender doesn't match your assigned sex you often feel dysphoria over your body, and it can cause severe psychological damage. People transition so that they feel at home in their bodies. So we can live as the gender we want and be recognized as that gender. People do not transition to gain privilege or to conform to societies gender roles. We transition so our sexual characteristics match our subconscious image of who we should be.

Also their are huge benefits to transitioning during puberty. if you start hormone therapy at a young age you will be able to blend in with cis people and not have to worry about being hated society. if I started when my first puberty happened I would have no visible markers that I am trans.

please note that not every trans person transitions and not every trans person feels extreme dysphoria. We all have our own unique stories at how we realized that our gender and perceived sex didn't match.

[V M]

Hi inaRehT 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Thank you for taking the time and consideration to further educate yourself regarding transgender issues

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Hugs

V M

[DriftingCrow]

People transition for various reasons, there's lots of people under the trans* umbrella.

opposite sex organs, then why would it matter if you're not old enough to do anything sexual?

Gender Dysphoria is a medical condition where your brain believes its body should be of the other sex. It's not just about penis and vagina, it's about body hair, muscle mass, voice, etc.

I don't identify as either male or female, but have considered transitioning to male because I feel like I should have a male body. It's not about sex for me, I am actually not really interested in sex much, I just want to be a manly hunk.

If the reason for transitioning is more gender role oriented, then shouldn't we be simply focusing more effort on eliminating gender roles?

Yes, I also extremely dislike the social ramifications of being FAAB. Many MAABs extremely dislike the pressure put on men to be strong, manly, etc. Many trans people, along with others in the LGB and feminist community, are actively fighting to end gender discrimination on both sides. However, there's nothing inherently wrong with someone being ultra-femme or a ultra-manly, there's nothing wrong with being a good mixture of both -- we want everyone to have the ability to be what's natural for them.

Now, what is gender exactly?

That definition varies per person. I believe gender is socially constructed, and that people's behaviors are influenced by society, genetics, and hormones. Feminine is stereotypes of females (sweet, caring, weak, emotional, passive-aggressive) and masculine is stereotypes of males (strong, unemotional, bread winners. . .), your gender identity is somewhere on a scale between those two extremes and comes from some genetic/hormonal/societal factors; some people are more towards one end than another, some people are right in the middle and feel "bigender" or "two-spirit" and others feel like they fall outside and are "non-gendered" (or other terms used to describe this).

Others in the trans community though are very adamant that it's not socially constructed but is somehow biological. I don't understand that but that's fine.

[amber roskamp]

Others in the trans community though are very adamant that it's not socially constructed but is somehow biological. I don't understand that but that's fine.

I think gender is both biological and sociological. not just one but a complex equation where biology and society work together to decide what gender is. I think it is dangerous to think of it as just biological or just sociological.

Julia Serrano does an amazing job highlighting this in The Whipping Girl. I would recommend reading this.

[AnonyMs]

I wouldn't mind knowing the answer to this myself. Its seems to be the classic, the more I know the less I understand.

I think male and female is one of those things where you'd say you know it when you see it, but it turns out you don't really, and the closer you look the more confusing it is. I'm sure some people can keep up a rigid definitions and separation of male and female in the face of reality, but there's probably some people still think the world is flat.

I'm on HRT and all, and feeling pretty clueless in some ways. For me I found it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I can't stay where I was and I know the direction I'm going. It would be nice, but I can live without knowing what it means.