my first dating experience ever

[Emily_P]

A few weeks ago I want on the first date of my life.  I am 26 years old and I have been full time for about a month.  Even before I transitioned I had never dated.  I never considered it an option.

I was walking around town one day and had was waiting at a crosswalk when a guy started talking to me.  He had seen me around town and had been wanting to talk to me.  I gave him my phone number and he called me latter that day and asked me out on a date.  Over the next week a want out with him 3 times.  The first and third time we want on walks on some public trail just outside town and the second time we want to a movie.  On the last date we help hands he kissed me on the neck.

I had a lot of fun on these dates and I think that it was a really good experience for me.  He did not know that I was a transsexual.  I was going to tell him the third time I want out with him but an oppertunity did not present itself.  I was going to make an oppertunity the next time I saw him but as it tured out there would bee no next time.

After the third date he just stoped talking to me.  No explination was given and it left me feeling hurt and confused.  He might have found out that I was a transsexual but I just don't know.  That was the hardest part for me, the not knowing.  At first when I called him he said he was bisy and would call me back.  He never did.  Several days later I called him again and he acted like he didn't know who was calling.  He acted like he thought I was some kind of telemarketer.  It wasn't untill I want to his appartment and talking to him in person that I realised he just did not want to see me anymore.

This caused me for more pain then I had ever thought it could.  I had only seen him 3 times and he wasn't even good looking.  I found myself feeling complex mixture of emotions which I had never felt before.  I now I feel a great sense of loss that brought me to tears just yesterday.  I think I might be cring for what might have been more then what was but I don't really know.

The spelling on this is probably terible but I don't see a spellchecker here and the spell checker on my brouser is not working.

[candifla]

Hey emily,

That's a hard story to read. very sad.

firstly, dating is such a pressure in the teens and 20s. I didn't have my first until i was 26 as well!

secondly, i think from your explanation of his actions, he probably discovered your secret. All in all, it's probably a good thing he broke it off before you had to go through the anguish of explaining and then having to face his reaction, which now, would seem highly negative.

Anyways, be safe. I think it's too dangerous to date men who don't know about t-ism. But that's just the pessimist in me.

[almost,angie]

  I have spent a lot of time around men in my work. They are so opinoinated and bigoted about this. Every other joke is about us. I`ve had to stand there in work crouds and meetings listing to this crap and act like it`s funny. When a man finds out the jokes on him he could freak out and get really violent. Just be very carefull, when you tell a strait man you are transexual he thinks of you as a man and could want to hurt you.
  I`m sorry to say, on the most part from what I`ve noticed, men like to act all romantic and sweet with you ( a woman) then go to his friends and say," that bitch didn`t put out, Fu@% her". This is what I have seen time and time again. In my teens I said ," why do you talk about girls like that?" ( bitches and @unt$). They said ," What are you a ->-bleeped-<- or something?" LOL! They all seem to agree I must have been some kind of ->-bleeped-<- but I still don`t get it 23 years later.

[cindianna_jones]

Sweetie, guys will do this to you if everything in your life is normal!  He may or may not know anything about you but is just unwilling to tell you that he is no longer interested.

Don't depend on spell checkers!  Get a dictionary and use it!  You can learn to spell over time. Nothing will help your professional skills better than improving what you write. 

Take care doll.

Chin up!

Cindi