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Started by Trillium, February 13, 2015, 04:00:19 PM
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Quote from: Trillium on March 01, 2015, 09:35:13 PMJust an update. I broke up with him yesterday, it's been really tough, up and down each hour, trying to stay positive.So although we had agreed to be monogamous and had established that we we're a couple, apparently my feelings for him had developed too fast. He said he didn't care for me in the same way and pretty much implied that we were... ('deep breaths') just friends with benefits. I DON'T F*** FRIENDS, takes me long enough to trust a partner in that regard, so ended things with him there. What hurts most is that I'd gone further with him sexually then I've with anyone else, I feel so exposed and thinking of it in terms of doing it with a 'friend' doesn't make me feel good and bring back up my doubts about how he see's my gender, as if I'm one of his mates.I'm trying to stay positive as I really don't want to get into a cycle of depression over this, I have too many past issues with rejection that I've gotten through, I can't let this trigger and fuel that cycle.I loved having a BF even if he didn't give a ->-bleeped-<- about me, it was nice having someone to feel for and be humble for, it made everyday tasks so much more enjoyable. He wants to stay friends and I did say OK but having thought about it I don't know if that's a good idea. He was always so defensive with me despite that I would clearly be trying for the productive and positive, I didn't mind just letting things go if it would make him feel good, even as we broke up I didn't challenge him that he had gone back on his word. So I'm worried about staying friends but I don't know if I can just say no and if I could how to put my concerns into words, because honestly I've not made sense of them but I can feel them strong enough. Loves and 'hugs' you all xx