Hi, again...
I realize I'm posting pretty often here, but writing has and most likely will continue to help me pour my feelings out, and each and every reply helps in great amounts. Not to mention that this forum is the only reason I had the confidence to come out and tell anyone I know about my thoughts and problems.
As usual, most of the info about me are in my other posts scattered around the youth board and there might be one in the introductions board. Anyway, I guess I should continue on with what I'm making this post about. The basic information you'll need to know about me is: A) I'm 12. B) I'm currently still male, and extremely unhappy with that.
Right, now that that's over with, I recently saw my family doctor about my thoughts. I'm aware this wasn't the best person to see, but I really needed to talk to someone. The appointment itself was... rather demoralising, to say the least. Essentially, I waited two hours to see him, got into his office, and ended up sitting through 30 minutes of him essentially saying "It's a phase, and therefore I recommend you do nothing about it yet.". And then I left on the verge of tears -- not because I didn't expect him to say this -- but mostly because him having said this brought up even more thoughts of "What if it is a phase?". I'm confident it's not, in fact I really hope it's not. But there's still a good chance it is. And so, I guess this post is mostly to see if anyone could kind of put those thoughts to rest for at least a short time?
This week I'm going to see a doctor at a clinic that specializes in gender and sexuality, so I'm hoping that will go better. I've kind of told myself that my doctor didn't know what he was talking about, and that's why he made the assumption it was most likely a phase. But, the unfortunate truth is, he probably does know what he's talking about.
I'm currently not attending school due to some family complications and my being a whiny 1st-world-problem'd child. Either way, I plan to go back in late March, and I hope to be -- at very least -- seeing a gender therapist by then. I understand that this is a long, and hard journey, but everything feels too slow even in the first months of said journey (there are my whiny 1st-world-problems again.).
Before I post an even bigger wall of text, I might as well end it here. Thanks for reading n' stuff.