Unsettling Experience and a Revelation

[Sammy]

I carry pepper spray all the time and have background in Kyokushinkai, Taijiquan (Chen) and Xingyiquan (more than two decades). Pre-transition there were couple of cases when I interfered into ongoing streetcrimes (three guys in their very early 20-ties) taking on one drunk and looked angry and mean enough to scare them off. I had fights with several people who were intended to take me down and 4 guys could not pin me... I was also able to deal with two average dudes with minimal training with getting myself punched once or twice.
So,  a couple of months ago I asked my best male friend to do some friendly spar and we agreed that I wont do any dirty fighting, like kicking him in balls, shin-kicking or trying to get my elbow into contact with his jaw. So, my options were somehow restricted and he has some decent background in grappling. As soon as he was able to break the distance, he grabbed my arms and it was over very quickly with him pinning me down on the floor. We both agreed though that while he was going for that grab, I had plenty of options to unleash some pain onto him, but we agreed beforehands not to. So... my conclusions were that two guys would now be a serious problem unless I am able to deal with one of them very quickly (pepper spray?) and if I can, I should not try my chances to get into hand-to-hand combat even with one male assailant, cause his level of aggression will be much higher due to testosterone advantage, plus he will have extra strenght and psychological advantage (the last one if quite an interesting point, cause my friend admitted that he did not considered me a serious threat anymore and was actually holding himself a bit, whereas for me, as soon as he was literally in my face, he suddenly looked much larger and scarier then he used to be... and I used to give him some HtH lessons like 5-6 years ago...).

[Wynternight]

I carry pepper spray all the time and have background in Kyokushinkai, Taijiquan (Chen) and Xingyiquan (more than two decades). Pre-transition there were couple of cases when I interfered into ongoing streetcrimes (three guys in their very early 20-ties) taking on one drunk and looked angry and mean enough to scare them off. I had fights with several people who were intended to take me down and 4 guys could not pin me... I was also able to deal with two average dudes with minimal training with getting myself punched once or twice.
So,  a couple of months ago I asked my best male friend to do some friendly spar and we agreed that I wont do any dirty fighting, like kicking him in balls, shin-kicking or trying to get my elbow into contact with his jaw. So, my options were somehow restricted and he has some decent background in grappling. As soon as he was able to break the distance, he grabbed my arms and it was over very quickly with him pinning me down on the floor. We both agreed though that while he was going for that grab, I had plenty of options to unleash some pain onto him, but we agreed beforehands not to. So... my conclusions were that two guys would now be a serious problem unless I am able to deal with one of them very quickly (pepper spray?) and if I can, I should not try my chances to get into hand-to-hand combat even with one male assailant, cause his level of aggression will be much higher due to testosterone advantage, plus he will have extra strenght and psychological advantage (the last one if quite an interesting point, cause my friend admitted that he did not considered me a serious threat anymore and was actually holding himself a bit, whereas for me, as soon as he was literally in my face, he suddenly looked much larger and scarier then he used to be... and I used to give him some HtH lessons like 5-6 years ago...).

With Krav Maga I try to control the distance, even more so now because I know if I ever had to grapple or deal with a take down or pin that I am in deep trouble. I would have no choice but to be a dirty and vicious as possible but I sincerely hope it never gets to that point. I have never initiated violence in my life save for the one time I defended my little brother. I always try to walk away or avoid situations that could get bad. I don't go to clubs or bars, I don't walk alone at night but now that I'm pretty much male fail 98% of the time I know I have to be as careful as any other woman when it comes to men.

As for carrying a handgun, I've had tactical training and tons of range time. I've been shot at twice (I worked law enforcement) and returned fire once so I have no doubt that if I had to, I could pull the trigger. But again, I hope I never have to. I just need to keep up my situational awareness now, more than ever.

[Muffinheart]

I don't know what I would have done in that instance. I've never been in a confrontation, fight or even hit in my life. If I had to, guess Id have to resort to a lot of scratching. Where I live, it is not legal to carry a gun or pepper spray.

[Joanne Feliz]

That's awful to feel so vulnerable and scared.  Im soo sorry to hear!

I would definitely conceal carry if I was living in the US.  You have a right not to be threatened or intimidated. 

Is terrible people need to arm themselves for protection but like you say rather be safe than a statistic...knowing my luck I would be one of the statistics that manages to shoot themselves in the foot or something 

All seriousness though,  there is only so much martial arts can do, especially if the assailant is bigger and stronger than you.

I like the smith and wesson mp shield that would stop any hoodlum in their tracks.

[Sammy]

With Krav Maga I try to control the distance, even more so now because I know if I ever had to grapple or deal with a take down or pin that I am in deep trouble. I would have no choice but to be a dirty and vicious as possible but I sincerely hope it never gets to that point. I have never initiated violence in my life save for the one time I defended my little brother. I always try to walk away or avoid situations that could get bad. I don't go to clubs or bars, I don't walk alone at night but now that I'm pretty much male fail 98% of the time I know I have to be as careful as any other woman when it comes to men.

As for carrying a handgun, I've had tactical training and tons of range time. I've been shot at twice (I worked law enforcement) and returned fire once so I have no doubt that if I had to, I could pull the trigger. But again, I hope I never have to. I just need to keep up my situational awareness now, more than ever.

Ironically, but with Xingyi my experience always was that I needed to get into close distance ASAP, because Xingyi is very brutal there (think of Wing Tsun, although with slightly different body mechanics). And I was not afraid of being grappled cause I could always shake it off, but now it is more tricky - I can still unleash a world of pain if I get close enough (simultaneously kicking shins and inner tighs, downward punching genitals, switching upwards to solar, throat, face (nose, eyes, jaws), headbutting, but those are really extremes which I would rather avoid, besides I would need to be aware of not getting caught and pinned down.  On the other hand, they say that usually an attack against a man starts with a punch, whereas an attack against a woman starts with a grab. At least, I wont get punched first .