I want to get started

[Millla]

But I don't know how. I really don't know how things work. How do I get in touch with someone? I don't think there are any therapists around here and I can't travel.
There is also the wait that concerns me. I have read that you must wait at least 4 months before you're allowed to start HRT.
I'm not trying to take steps forward to wait even longer. I feel like if I started today I'd be too late. I can't wait several months.
There are other things that have to be taken care of before I can start too and I don't even know how to begin.
I've been feeling very stressed for a few days and I don't know what to do. Please help. I'm running out of time.

[LordKAT]

Hi MIlla,

First take a deep breath. You have time unless you are at death's door. Now, Welcome toSusan's.

Step one is often therapy. There are online therapists who can write letters and be very useful. There are also suggestions of places to call in our wiki. It would help us to help you find resources if we have some idea where you live.

The wait time you listed depends on where you live, your therapist, or if you decide to use informed consent for the HRT. Your therapist may have you wait, usually about 3 months. Then they would write a letter for you to take to a doctor. Which doctor depends on, again, where you live. An endocrinologist is who you usually end up seeing for hormones.   You can find informed consent clinics which will skip the letter but you will have to sign a document stating that you understand what hormones can and can't do as well as accepting the risks that go with.

In the mean time you can work on beard removal, wardrobe, practicing your voice, your walk, make-up, etc. When you do these things it doesn't seem like such a long wait for the other things.

Now that you have done this touch of reading, you can relax a tad and just start posting about anything.

Here are some links to site rules and some often asked questions.

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  

Take some time to check them out and read others experiences as well as continue to ask questions. You will do fine.

[MelissaAnn]

Hi Millla!
A big warm welcome to Susan's place! It's always nice to welcome another sister to our ever growing family. You will find a lot of brothers and sisters that are either going through or are going through the same things as you. There are a lot of fantastic people here and some great resources available here. Everything is right at your finger tips so pull up a chair, relax and let your fingers do the walking. Don't be shy... When you are comfortable feel free to stop in our kitchen and get yourself some coffee or tea! I look forward to seeing you around the forums.

You've taken the first step here! search the forums here and post any questions you have and we all are very happy to help in any way that we can. Where do you live? there might be someone here from the same area that you can get information from. There are some real good on-line therapist that can help you also.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey and may the Angels always look upon you and guide you on your journey!

Love,

Melissa Ann

[Mariah]

Hi Millla  Welcome to Susan's. The first step is generally therapy, but if you have insurance and the insurance if your requires a referral then you would need to jump through that hoop first in order to get your therapy covered. Good Luck and I look forward to seeing you around the forums.
Mariah

[ImagineKate]

There is also the wait that concerns me. I have read that you must wait at least 4 months before you're allowed to start HRT.
I'm not trying to take steps forward to wait even longer. I feel like if I started today I'd be too late. I can't wait several months.

Hi Millia!

First of all a very big HUG to you girl.

Where are you located? Are you in USA or another country?

Reason I ask is that you might be able to go to an informed consent clinic and get on HRT relatively quickly, like within 1-3 visits. They do counsel you to make sure you know what you're doing and they run baseline tests to ensure that you're healthy enough. Then you sign paperwork to ensure that you know and acknowledge all the risks. But once you're cleared you're off to the races.

So that is one route that kind of gets you up and running quickly.

But if you are in another country like the UK I don't know how it works.

Also I would get started with removing the beard as soon as you can. Laser is nice if you can do it. Electrolysis is slower but supposedly more effective. I've been doing both but I'm going to focus on laser for now until I get most of my face cleared.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Millla

Welcome to Susan's - we're an interesting little collective, and you will find top-rate insight here if you're interested in finding this.

A key thing to take into account is that being a transitioning transgender person requires patience and an acceptance that the past is the past and you cannot change it.  And sometimes you have to wait for bureaucracy and medicine to catch up with your internal state, but it's a hugely better thing to accept this rather than fight for things to move faster.   

There is time, truly. I'm in my 40s and started a year ago. I'm full time and never get misgendered.  And I worked hard to become who I wanted to be.  Trust me here - the hormones are a nice helping hand, but your willingness to help yourself and put in the work is far more important.

Something I propose to all who are starting out is to get your thoughts clear.  Healthcare professionals have very little to work with when someone arrives with nothing more than the statement "I want to be a girl" (or whatever gender is desired.)  Put your thoughts on paper, and create a plan for yourself.  You sound young - are you at school, university, working, and if so what happens next in your life?  If you can state your goals you can control them, and again, I'd much rather control my destination than have someone else do it for me. 

So, write it down:  a) the past, or what happened to make you believe you're trans;  b) the present, and what you want to do about it now; c) the future and where you want to head with your gender and with your life.

I hope some of this makes sense?
Hugs
Julia

[Millla]

Something I propose to all who are starting out is to get your thoughts clear.  Healthcare professionals have very little to work with when someone arrives with nothing more than the statement "I want to be a girl" (or whatever gender is desired.)  Put your thoughts on paper, and create a plan for yourself.  You sound young - are you at school, university, working, and if so what happens next in your life?  If you can state your goals you can control them, and again, I'd much rather control my destination than have someone else do it for me. 

So, write it down:  a) the past, or what happened to make you believe you're trans;  b) the present, and what you want to do about it now; c) the future and where you want to head with your gender and with your life.

I don't think I would have any issues with the actual therapy, it's getting in touch with someone that is very hard for me.
I've tried to get help online a few times but all I ever get is automated responses.

[Ruruko]

But I don't know how. I really don't know how things work. How do I get in touch with someone? I don't think there are any therapists around here and I can't travel.
There is also the wait that concerns me. I have read that you must wait at least 4 months before you're allowed to start HRT.
I'm not trying to take steps forward to wait even longer. I feel like if I started today I'd be too late. I can't wait several months.
There are other things that have to be taken care of before I can start too and I don't even know how to begin.
I've been feeling very stressed for a few days and I don't know what to do. Please help. I'm running out of time.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

I've not been here long, but "Starting" is as much as doing something about it, and as people have often said around here, it's never to late to become what you could've been.

The people here are friendly and know their way around things, one of the most important things that anyone could've said to me is that
no-one can stop you transitioning if you can help it. I'm not saying this to scare you off, but Doctors, Therapists, and anyone else
you meet along the way are only there to help you, but it's ultimately you who must make the decisions and take the necessary steps forward to progress.

As much as a cliche the word "journey" sounds, I could think of no better way to describe it, and the good thing is; you don't have to travel alone, but you have to call the shots.

For me, I told my GP, followed by my friends and relatives. Things have been moving slowly, but at least they're moving at all!

I really do hope you find the answers you're looking for here, there is no "right" first step, or even last step. Don't panic too much and think about everything
you can do right now (or soon) rather than worrying about whether it's too late to begin. There's doubt and anxiety, and then there's making a difference about it.
The moment of realization and acting upon it, is a large gulf we've all been through, and coming over here to tell us about means that you're willing to move forward.

I hope my rambling hasn't scared you or anything, just know that we are here to help you as much as we can!

Mod edit: please do not advocate DIY

[Mariah]

Please do not Self medicate it's dangerous and you could cause yourself more harm than help buy doing.
Mariah

Welcome to Susan's Place!

I've not been here long, but "Starting" is as much as doing something about it, and as people have often said around here, it's never to late to become what you could've been.

The people here are friendly and know their way around things, one of the most important things that anyone could've said to me is that
no-one can stop you transitioning if you can help it. I'm not saying this to scare you off, but Doctors, Therapists, and anyone else
you meet along the way are only there to help you, but it's ultimately you who must make the decisions and take the necessary steps forward to progress.

For me, I told my GP, followed by my friends and relatives. Things have been moving slowly, but at least they're moving at all!

I really do hope you find the answers you're looking for here, there is no "right" first step, or even last step. Don't panic too much and think about everything
you can do right now (or soon) rather than worrying about whether it's too late to begin. There's doubt and anxiety, and then there's making a difference about it.
The moment of realization and acting upon it, is a large gulf we've all been through, and coming over here to tell us about means that you're willing to move forward.

I hope my rambling hasn't scared you or anything, just know that we are here to help you as much as we can!

[Julia-Madrid]

I don't think I would have any issues with the actual therapy, it's getting in touch with someone that is very hard for me.
I've tried to get help online a few times but all I ever get is automated responses.

Millla, I understand your distress, truly I do - gender dysphoria is a horrendous thing.

Let's talk about practical steps.  While online help may exist, it's unlikely to get you very far since anyone professional will want to see you and assess you.  You haven't given us any clues, but depending on where you live, your GP might be a much better place to start.  If this is possible, make an appointment now; if it's not possible, please explain why not.

Try to slow down and break your issues into smaller ones - nobody can climb a mountain in a single leap.

Hugs
Julia

[Millla]

Millla, I understand your distress, truly I do - gender dysphoria is a horrendous thing.

Let's talk about practical steps.  While online help may exist, it's unlikely to get you very far since anyone professional will want to see you and assess you.  You haven't given us any clues, but depending on where you live, your GP might be a much better place to start.  If this is possible, make an appointment now; if it's not possible, please explain why not.

Try to slow down and break your issues into smaller ones - nobody can climb a mountain in a single leap.

Hugs
Julia

I don't have any money at all so I can't pay for a medical visit. Is there something I can do to get free help? I don't know how it works.

[Julia-Madrid]

I don't have any money at all so I can't pay for a medical visit. Is there something I can do to get free help? I don't know how it works.

Millla, it depends where you live, and you have given us no clues, so it's really very hard for us to help you!

In some countries, in the bigger cities there are gender clinics which are frequently free.   Some may allow you to walk in, and for others you need a referral from a doctor - a GP.

If you don't know where to start, contact a local lesbian gay bisexual transsexual representation group.  They will often be able to give you pointers, names etc.

Julia

[Millla]

Millla, it depends where you live, and you have given us no clues, so it's really very hard for us to help you!

In some countries, in the bigger cities there are gender clinics which are frequently free.   Some may allow you to walk in, and for others you need a referral from a doctor - a GP.

If you don't know where to start, contact a local lesbian gay bisexual transsexual representation group.  They will often be able to give you pointers, names etc.

Julia

I live in a very small place and I've never heard of a gender clinic.
How can I find a lgbt group?