Questions about top dysphoria (FTM)

[Yngve A-bsolute]

Hi!
I'm new here, I'm 17 and I wanna ask some questions about top dysphoria in FTMs(I don't know if I am one actually, but it's possible).

Ok, so let's start:

1. Is it about hating your body and being unable to look at yourself in the mirror or "just" about feeling that you should not have these things on your chest and that something's wrong since you have them....?

2. I remember that even when I wasn't feeling (yet) that there's something "wrong" with me, I felt like the whole idea of people having such things on their chest was too surrealistic and hilarious. Like "What the heck! Really?". It was when I already had these things. Could that be indirect dysporia or is it just overinterpretation?

3. Is it "okay" that I feel different about my body depending on my general mood? Sometimes I'm more like "Whatever, I don't go in public without clothes anyway" and sometimes I feel like crying.
I'm really obsessed about my chest...It's the very first thing I think about a second after I wake up.

And finally: what that "dysphoria" actually is? How would you describe it? Because I read a lot (too much maybe) about it, but the people use this word like it doesn't need to be explained...

Thank you for any useful comments

[Elis]

1. It can be both depending on the person and where they fit on the trans spectrum or simply how they feel that particular day.
2.Could be both (sorry that that's not helpful) but all trans people need to work through their feelings on why they feel the way they do.
3.Of course it's ok, all if not most trans people go through this. Dysphoria is directly related to how you look that day (whether you pass), if your day is going well without any obstacles, someone gendering you correctly, etc.
Dysphoria is feeling uncomfortable as your birth sex and doesn't need to be a certain amount to count. There's body dysphoria which is feeling uncomfortable about your body, can be chest and sex, just sex or just chest. Can also be bcos you feel like you look female. There's also gender dysphoria which is the feeling of discomfort that you get being addressed as female. You csn have both types of dysphoria or only one to be transgender

[FTMax]

1. Is it about hating your body and being unable to look at yourself in the mirror or "just" about feeling that you should not have these things on your chest and that something's wrong since you have them....?

2. I remember that even when I wasn't feeling (yet) that there's something "wrong" with me, I felt like the whole idea of people having such things on their chest was too surrealistic and hilarious. Like "What the heck! Really?". It was when I already had these things. Could that be indirect dysporia or is it just overinterpretation?

3. Is it "okay" that I feel different about my body depending on my general mood? Sometimes I'm more like "Whatever, I don't go in public without clothes anyway" and sometimes I feel like crying.
I'm really obsessed about my chest...It's the very first thing I think about a second after I wake up.

And finally: what that "dysphoria" actually is? How would you describe it? Because I read a lot (too much maybe) about it, but the people use this word like it doesn't need to be explained...

First, the answers you get to this will be different for everyone. There's no single way to experience dysphoria.

1) For me it is more of the latter.  It just feels incorrect to have breasts, given that I know I'm a man and men don't have breasts.

2) I've never had a feeling like that, so I can't really speak to it.

3) My feelings about my chest never really go away. But I am typically more concerned/stressed about it if for some reason I have to be in public without a binder. So yeah, it's fine that you feel differently about it at different times.

4) Honestly, I don't think anyone has to explain how they experience or would describe their dysphoria. It's a lot of different things for different people. You aren't going to get just one answer. I would say a better approach is to personally speak with a therapist about it. They can tell you if what you're experiencing could be medically classified as dysphoria.

[darkblade]

For me at least:

1. I don't "hate" my body, I just would much rather it look male. I think it took me a long while to be able to accept my body the way it is, and right now I don't really have a problem looking in the mirror or anything, except that I don't really like to. I've always wanted a flat chest, never wanted these things on me and I feel so much better when I can't see them.

2. I'm not quite sure what you mean, but I've always wondered how/why women seem to like their chests. I thought it was "normal" that I didn't want it there.

3. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I don't really care because this is what people are gonna see me as anyways, sometimes I feel like not going anywhere because of my chest. Once I went out and spent the whole night with my arms wrapped around my chest in utter discomfort. It happens. Interestingly for me though, it annoys me more when in dressed than not. Even a therapist will tell you that it's okay to feel differently about things from day to day.

I've also been trying to understand what dysphoria is, I've come to understand that it's basically the collection of things that make you uncomfortable with regards to gender (talking about gender dysphoria here). Dysphoria is  the opposite of euphoria. Its different from person to another, so I'm afraid there's not really a checklist for one to go through. In a general sense: there's body dysphoria, that has to do with your body and how it fits/doesn't fit with your gender, and social dysphoria which has to do with the social interaction aspect (ex. pronouns and such). Some people have both, some people have one more than the other.

[Menoimagination]

Dysphoria is different for everyone.
For me dysphoria is sometimes the feeling of hatred for my body. sometimes I hate it more and sometimes I hate it less; sometimes I can bear to look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I cannot; sometimes I feel empty and hopeless, broken and wrong; sometimes my body makes me physically sick; sometimes... well, I'm sure you get what I mean.
idk the second  question, maybe its because I'm sleepy that I'm like whaaat and confused.
Yes, its fine and normal. Sometimes I can cope with my body and idgaf but sometimes it is too much.
I'm not exactly sure. Darkblade seems to make more sense than I would, so yeah that.
I should sleep