I'm thinking that I am very grateful for my counselor. I don't think she realizes how much she has helped me, especially lately. These last two weeks have been really difficult for me, and I was on the verge of returning to some self-destructive behaviour again. I was really scared of my emotions. But she helped me turn it into something productive rather than destructive. I figured out some of what was leading me to spiral. I talked to my boss about something that was bothering me, and we had a good discussion and we have a plan moving forward. I opened up to my professors about the struggles I was having with school, and they were all extremely supportive and we are working on a plan to get me through the material. I also found two very positive and effective coping mechanisms, that have helped me manage when my emotions are in a really bad place.
And in sorting out those things, I managed to get a lot of smaller things back on track without realizing it. I have to follow a diet plan before surgery as per my doctor, and I actually managed to get it up and running and I am doing very well with it. I got my taxes and doctor's stuff sorted out so I don't have to worry about money now.
This is entirely, 100% unheard of for me. Normally, when something bad happens, and I can't control my feelings, I make things worse. In the past, I'd have either quit or sabotaged my job, I'd have sabotaged my schooling and academic relationships, and rather than using positive coping to help I'd have done things that I know are upsetting and hurtful to myself. And I certainly wouldn't have gotten my taxes done or stayed on track with my surgery requirements. I have NEVER turned such a negative time into such a positive. Before it seemed like it was only a dream, you know? A fantasy world. But this time it actually happened.
