why do I feel like crap.

[Shawn Sunshine]

Today I feel horrible...not feminine...barely human...just have the Debbie downers.

I wish I knew why I'm haVing days like this. All my feminine feelings, thoughts have seemed to left me. I feel bleak. I feel blank.  But it's only happening a few days a month. Why?

[iKate]

Hey Shawn... First of all a big hug for you.

Secondly it could be anything.

I have days like that too. People say it is impossible but I think I have an ebb and flow like a cis woman's menstrual cycle. Not in the true sense but emotionally. Probably chemically too but I have no idea. Either way for a short time every month I just feel like total crap. Not suicidal or anything just really down. Not feeling to be myself at all. I am also a total crab to people. Then it all just magically goes away, poof and I am on cloud 99 again.

But what I do is I try to focus on what lies ahead and what I've left behind and I must say the ride is pretty nice. I'm sure it is for you as well.

[ana1111]

i totally get the feeling I feel that way all the time...and as far as not feeling feminine and feeling bleak and empty I sorta get that too...I mean I always feel feminine like I never wanna "be a guy" or act manly but on days that I feel bad about something related to my looks or being trans I tend to almost feel less feminine cause I feel like unworthy of feeling feminine or cute or pretty or something those are usually days I tend to do one of two things...try to either over compensate by trying to make myself look and feel extra pretty and feminine and think of ways to fix the problem or I just feel like giving up and just lay around and sleep and feel crappy...obviously I don't have good advice for when you feel that way but I can for sure relate on certain levels

[ana1111]

Hey Shawn... First of all a big hug for you.

Secondly it could be anything.

I have days like that too. People say it is impossible but I think I have an ebb and flow like a cis woman's menstrual cycle. Not in the true sense but emotionally. Probably chemically too but I have no idea. Either way for a short time every month I just feel like total crap. Not suicidal or anything just really down. Not feeling to be myself at all. I am also a total crab to people. Then it all just magically goes away, poof and I am on cloud 99 again.

But what I do is I try to focus on what lies ahead and what I've left behind and I must say the ride is pretty nice. I'm sure it is for you as well.

totally relate to this...and honestly maybe it has gotten worse since being on progesterone so it could be true

[Ms Grace]

Hormones will definitely put your through the wringer sometimes. Hope things tick up for you.

[Obfuskatie]

For me, it can feel like the weight of the world is holding me down just dealing with trans stuff sometimes. I can but don't always rely on my support network or community to help with it. It's easier if you can talk about it with someone important to you.
Personally, I don't usually feel gendered at all, I just feel like me. It's the jarring moments where I'm very aware that usually bother me the most. Trying to always feel feminine or girly is exhausting; I'm transitioning so I don't have to spend so much time in my head about every move and word I make and utter respectively.
Try not to be too harsh to yourself. Everyone needs days they don't have to police their behavior to fit in the awkward gender molds society has prescribed us. Whether it's a day where you pamper yourself or veg out with friends or by yourself, find time to do nothing but exist every now and then without pressure.

     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mariah]

Hope your doing better soon Shawn. Hugs
Mariah

[Shawn Sunshine]

Yes..I think this really is the time of the month more than anYthing. Honestly it must be. It's new and never occurred before hrt. As I went up in levels it got more inTensE and lasted Longer. Of course I don't have the crimson flood part..But it seems like it's all there besides that.

Then I to am back to cloud 99 after.

Truth is though I have been spenDing to much time trying to overcompensate
Spending too much time policing myself
Need to just spend more time bEing naturally me for a while.