Therapy Question

[YoungZep]

I am currently seeing a private therapist and she wants me on antidepressants. I got a refural and called the schools medical facilities, since I'm a college student, to make a appointment to try and get a prescription. Well I ended up getting directed to a specialist ... I think... And got the 20 question survey about being depressed and completely ignored my statements of having a therapist already... Now I have to sit with a doc for a hour and probably get a psych evaluation, which I didn't want. I told my therapist that I didn't want to tell the docs about my gender issues and I am still figuring out who I am. But I am now thinking I should for they might know a specialist that I haven't found, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to admit that much yet.

I have sort of gone though my own lil trial transition where , I know you all disprove of this, took herbs and started shaving my armpits, already shave the crotch, shaved my mustash, and wear woman's under garments 24/7. I was original scared on why I wanted to but the herbs made me relax, lowered my aggressive limbido, and grew some bewbs, which I love. I don't want that limbido ever again but I'm still unsure what I truely want.

What do you guys think, should I tell the crazy school docs or hold off?

[suzifrommd]

I would tell the doc whatever he asks. Who knows what kind of help he might be able to offer, but only if he knows what's really eating you.

[Julia-Madrid]

Youngzep

I absolutely agree with Suzi.  It really makes sense to totally involve healthcare professionals in what is happening in your life.  When you don't do this they have to make decisions based on lots of the missing pieces of the puzzle.  Remember that healthcare professionals are there to help, and it sounds like being honest with them will greatly benefit you.

Oh, and please stop taking the herbals - they might have had an effect, but they could be damaging your liver and heavens knows what else, and you're going to need to be a healthy person for whatever comes next.

Hugs
Julia

[YoungZep]

Youngzep

I absolutely agree with Suzi.  It really makes sense to totally involve healthcare professionals in what is happening in your life.  When you don't do this they have to make decisions based on lots of the missing pieces of the puzzle.  Remember that healthcare professionals are there to help, and it sounds like being honest with them will greatly benefit you.

Oh, and please stop taking the herbals - they might have had an effect, but they could be damaging your liver and heavens knows what else, and you're going to need to be a healthy person for whatever comes next.

Hugs
Julia

Thanks for the advice, if I do I'll have to update my therapist.

Also I don't anymore since I used up my supply and don't plan on any more, especially if I plan on antidepressants.

[YoungZep]

In fact, since I did some shaving and the liltte bit of changes I have done,I have felt a lot better. And after talking to a older gay friend and telling him about my gender issues, I sorta gained some confidence and the past 2 days I havnt been that depressed. Maybe this gender thing really had been bothering me more then I realized.

[JoanneB]

As difficult as it may seem to think, it's best to tell the doc's the gut wrenching truth. First, as long as you're not saying you plan on offing yourself, it's between you and them. (WARNING: Be sure to read the fine print on Privacy statements. In a school setting it may be up for grabs. Assuming you're worried about anyone else seeing that you think you aren't exactly 'Cis')

[YoungZep]

As difficult as it may seem to think, it's best to tell the doc's the gut wrenching truth. First, as long as you're not saying you plan on offing yourself, it's between you and them. (WARNING: Be sure to read the fine print on Privacy statements. In a school setting it may be up for grabs. Assuming you're worried about anyone else seeing that you think you aren't exactly 'Cis')

I may have mentioned some things saying I had thoughts but no plans, which is why I got scared last week and told my therapist how depression fully effects be. Thanks for mentioning the Privacy statement, I need to make sure I remember to check it.

[YoungZep]

Say the doc today, all went really well.I got anti depressants and mentioned my gender issues and was not phased at all bout it. He didn't say much about it but completely understood and knows of others at my school going through the same thing. He seemed veryfamilier with the issues, but I'm thinking of looking for a gender therapist to do a quick visit during my spring break, cuz there really isn't anything in my town for such things.

[AnonyMs]

I'll start off with saying this might not be right for other people, and I'm not suggesting anyone blindly follow this. it could have unfortunate consequences.

I saw a psychiatrist for gender related depression. It was getting really bad. He offered me medication a number of times and I always refused it.

I refused it, because I could cope for at least the short term, and I wanted to be sure that if and when if depression started getting better then I knew the reason why. The last thing I wanted was to feel better and question if it was the anti-depressants or resolving my real problems. In the end I did get fairly rapidly better though a combination of therapy with psych and a moving from low dose HRT to full transitioning dose.

I'm confident now that the path I'm taking is the right one, indeed its the only one where I can survive. If I'd taken those anti-depressants I'd have always been wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I don't need doubts like that in my life, its hard enough as it is. Worse I might not have gone down the path I'm on now, and I can say with absolute confidence, that would have been a serious mistake.

Of course if you need the medication to stop killing yourself then what I did would be a very stupid thing to do.

[YoungZep]

I'll start off with saying this might not be right for other people, and I'm not suggesting anyone blindly follow this. it could have unfortunate consequences.

I saw a psychiatrist for gender related depression. It was getting really bad. He offered me medication a number of times and I always refused it.

I refused it, because I could cope for at least the short term, and I wanted to be sure that if and when if depression started getting better then I knew the reason why. The last thing I wanted was to feel better and question if it was the anti-depressants or resolving my real problems. In the end I did get fairly rapidly better though a combination of therapy with psych and a moving from low dose HRT to full transitioning dose.

I'm confident now that the path I'm taking is the right one, indeed its the only one where I can survive. If I'd taken those anti-depressants I'd have always been wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I don't need doubts like that in my life, its hard enough as it is. Worse I might not have gone down the path I'm on now, and I can say with absolute confidence, that would have been a serious mistake.

Of course if you need the medication to stop killing yourself then what I did would be a very stupid thing to do.

I'm glad everything is working out for you. I have been depressed long before gender was a serious issue, and I have been crossdressing for a very long time. I seriously thought about hurting myself when I was younger because I hated myself so much and thought I was retarded or something, not realizing depression and anxiety can cause a lot of memory loss issues as well. As I thought about gender even more, my depression started to get bad and got into that mind frame I had when younger and got scared so I sought out a therapist for a mix of gender issues and depression. For me to see two professionals and have some of my gay friends support and help me as a possible trans person and not some super gay weirdo, and im not cuz im pan-sexual, it has definitely helped just as much.

The Only HRT I have had was herbs that made me feel good and some good changes, but I'm gonna wait on HRT, until I get my mind straight. But I'll probably do what you have done and do low dose HRT until I get a full time job.

[AnonyMs]

I'm glad everything is working out for you. I have been depressed long before gender was a serious issue, and I have been crossdressing for a very long time. I almost killed myself when I was younger because I hated myself so much and thought I was retarded or something, not realizing depression and anxiety can cause a lot of memory loss issues as well. As I thought about gender even more, my depression started to get bad and got into that mind frame I had when younger and got scared so I sought out a therapist for a mix of gender issues and depression. For me to see two professionals and have some of my gay friends support and help me as a possible trans person and not some super gay weirdo, and im not cuz im pan-sexual, it has definitely helped just as much.

The Only HRT I have had was herbs that made me feel good and some good changes, but I'm gonna wait on HRT, until I get my mind straight. But I'll probably do what you have done and do low dose HRT until I get a full time job.

The way you said the first thing there suggests that you had the gender issues before the depression. Is it possible that the gender issues led to the depression? I think that's pretty common if you're transgender.

I may be wrong on this, but I believe that if you're transgender then the only way to get your mind sorted out is with HRT. It made a huge difference for me, for a while anyway. But things moved on and eventually it wasn't enough. What happens after you start though is not very predictable.

I'm unclear about the herbs as they have a pretty terrible reputation as far as actually working. Making you feel better could be just because you feel you're doing something, but its what also HRT does for transgender people. I've had depression relieved for both reasons.

I think your point about memory loss is really important, since you are after all at college. Even if its not obvious, your performance there may be affected by these problems, and that would obviously be bad considering how important college is.

I'd agree with the others here saying you need to get medical people involved, but I'd also add that some of them may be incompetent and worse. If you're not happy with the one you find, go find another one. <edited>

[YoungZep]

The way you said the first thing there suggests that you had the gender issues before the depression. Is it possible that the gender issues led to the depression? I think that's pretty common if you're transgender.

I may be wrong on this, but I believe that if you're transgender then the only way to get your mind sorted out is with HRT. It made a huge difference for me, for a while anyway. But things moved on and eventually it wasn't enough. What happens after you start though is not very predictable.

I'm unclear about the herbs as they have a pretty terrible reputation as far as actually working. Making you feel better could be just because you feel you're doing something, but its what also HRT does for transgender people. I've had depression relieved for both reasons.

I think your point about memory loss is really important, since you are after all at college. Even if its not obvious, your performance there may be affected by these problems, and that would obviously be bad considering how important college is.

I'd agree with the others here saying you need to get medical people involved, but I'd also add that some of them may be incompetent and worse. If you're not happy with the one you find, go find another one. <edited>

Oh I am sure gender issues were a issue when I was younger but I was just always depressed for no reason. I have a doc and therapist and love both of them. Like I said I have been treated like a normal human. The herbs are effective. My libido died and I started to grow breasts, but I stopped. I'm trying to get my head straightened out b4 I head into HRT.