Recovering alone from GRS

[Mary81]

Hi everyone,
I am in the processes of planning my GRS Although I am amazingly excited, I am also pretty nervous. Where I live I have a choice of two surgeons which are covered by my insurance. One surgeon can give me a firm date which is very soon (15.04.15). However, she is not nearly as experienced and does not create the labia minora for some reason which she didn't explain to me.
The other surgeon is much more experienced and preforms a fairly standard two-stage operation. However, He can only give me an approximate date since GRS is not considered to be a priority surgery and I will lose my slot if a more important operation needs to take place.
In both cases the surgeons told me that I will be released to go home one week after the operation.
Naturally, I would rather choose the second surgeon. However, I live in a foreign country with no friends or family to look after me post-op. My stepmother has said she will fly from Canada to look after me. However, if I choose the more experienced surgeon there is a significant chance I could be home alone for a week before she arrives.
My question is does anyone have experience with recovering alone so soon post-op, and how hard would it be? Should I choose the first surgeon just to avoid that scenario? Also, is is normal that a surgeon wouldn't create the labia minora? Dose anyone have any experience with that?
Thank you for your help,
Mary   


   

[Muffinheart]

Hi everyone,
I am in the processes of planning my GRS Although I am amazingly excited, I am also pretty nervous. Where I live I have a choice of two surgeons which are covered by my insurance. One surgeon can give me a firm date which is very soon (15.04.15). However, she is not nearly as experienced and does not create the labia minora for some reason which she didn't explain to me.
The other surgeon is much more experienced and preforms a fairly standard two-stage operation. However, He can only give me an approximate date since GRS is not considered to be a priority surgery and I will lose my slot if a more important operation needs to take place.
In both cases the surgeons told me that I will be released to go home one week after the operation.
Naturally, I would rather choose the second surgeon. However, I live in a foreign country with no friends or family to look after me post-op. My stepmother has said she will fly from Canada to look after me. However, if I choose the more experienced surgeon there is a significant chance I could be home alone for a week before she arrives.
My question is does anyone have experience with recovering alone so soon post-op, and how hard would it be? Should I choose the first surgeon just to avoid that scenario? Also, is is normal that a surgeon wouldn't create the labia minora? Dose anyone have any experience with that?
Thank you for your help,
Mary   

Could have i recovered on my own? Sure. If I had planned out meals in advance and had them in the freezer. If I had done all my grocery supply. If I had all the lube, pads and other stuff in sufficient quantity. But it gave me peace of mind knowing I had a partner "just in case", and a few neighbours who were there for me.

I would take quality over just trying to get the first date. What if you're not satisfied? I would wait.

Yeah, I'm unaware of surgeons not creating labia minora, but then again, I'm learning through this site there are a lot more GRS procedures occurring in countries I never knew had them in the first place.

My advice, don't rush, be prepared for when you come home.

Good luck

Nina

[possessed]

Don't rush with the surgery and the surgeon choice. If you are from Canada, maybe Montreal would be a good choice with insurance coverage. Dr Bowers also accepts insurance and she is known to deliver superior results. What are your options?

[Mary81]

Don't rush with the surgery and the surgeon choice. If you are from Canada, maybe Montreal would be a good choice with insurance coverage. Dr Bowers also accepts insurance and she is known to deliver superior results. What are your options?

I am from Canada, but I have lived in the Czech Republic for the past 8 years. I have insurance here, but it is provided by the state and only covers surgeries done in the Czech Republic. It wont even cover me if i need to go to an emergency ward in Germany, for example. My family lives in Canada still, but the provincial insurance doesn't cover GRS very easily and I would need to re-establish residency in Canada before that was even a possibility. So, i really can only choose between the Czech surgeons I mentioned already. 

[mrs izzy]

As commented buy muffinheart if you prepare and stock up you will be ok. Many do it alone. Also you can get around if you need after a week post.

Just call emergency service if you need Dr. Help (very rare but happens)

Its major surgery but you will not be disabled.

Hugs

[Jenna Marie]

I'd be pretty uncomfortable with the "doesn't do labia minora, so sad" attitude.  There are cis women born without them, but why not try to get it looking as natural as possible?!

That said, since you didn't ask about that, to answer your real question... I would have been fine alone, though it would have been a lot more difficult and annoying and stressful. I was able to get up and walk by 18 hours post-op and was capable of taking care of all basic needs by that point. If you're going to go that route, I'd have some suggestions. The main issue here will be that  energy is *limited* - you'll likely be perfectly able to do any given task, but you won't have enough energy to manage EVERYTHING. So anywhere you can cut corners by prepping beforehand is good. As others have said, definitely make sure you have pre-prepared and easy to produce meals, heavy on protein and nutrients because you'll literally be replenishing your body as it heals. Stockpile lube and premade douches (if your surgeon recommends douching) and cleaning supplies; paper towels and cheap disposable underpants if laundry will be a challenge. Anything they tell you to buy, get twice as much as you think you'll need. Worst case you'll have some left over for later use, and best case you won't have to go out to buy anything while recovering. Clean the house before you leave, and make sure you have spare clean sheets and blankets and towels. You get the idea.

The main things my wife did for me was run laundry and cook and clean up and bring me stuff, all of which was nice but not absolutely required for survival. If you want to do a dry run of what it'd be like, imagine that you have about 2-3 hours a day of enough energy to do things besides lie in bed and dilate, and see how much you can get done in that time. (It might be much better than that for you, in which case you'll be able to take it easy. Better to plan for the worst and be surprised.)

You'll notice I didn't mention pain, because I honestly wasn't really in pain by that point; with Tylenol or Advil my pain was basically controlled, and even off the meds it wasn't much worse than the kind of deep muscle soreness you get from exercising too hard. Pain didn't limit me at all, but exhaustion did.

(I was released to go home 9 days after the operation but was not much improved between day 7 and 9, so this is roughly comparable to your timeline, I'd think.)

[Mary81]

I'd be pretty uncomfortable with the "doesn't do labia minora, so sad" attitude.  There are cis women born without them, but why not try to get it looking as natural as possible?!

Yes, this is pretty much my feeling. I know, rationally, that there are cis woman who are born without them or who have very small labia minora. But emotionally I feel strange or at least a little uncomfortable about setting out from the start knowing that I wouldn't have them. I am also a little worried that it would become a focus for my dysphoria post-op. But maybe I am just being a little too nervous, I don't know.

Anyhow, thank you all for your advice. It is really quite helpful. I was mostly worried that I would be bedridden without assistance. But if I can expect to be able to walk around the house and heat up pre-made foods, I think I could manage. I am just very nervous to find myself alone in a very bad situation.   

[Jenna Marie]

Mary : Hey, it's going to be your body. You should get what you want, within reason! I think that makes the choice of surgeon fairly easy.

Everyone's different, but for what it's worth, I've known several dozen women who had GRS and all were up to the "heat a cup of soup in the microwave" (even if they had to sit down to wait) level by a week post-op, not counting the ones who used Thai surgeons with the mandated bedrest. Barring complications, you should be able to manage that much.

[dkl]

I went to Montreal and returned by myself. I made sure I had everything well stocked at my house, and also made arrangements with a couple close friends, just in case. I got by fine, I even drove within a week or two, though it was somewhat uncomfortable and I was very careful.

[Megan Rose]

I did a lot after surgery, waded in the ocean while still wearing a catheter, went shopping, etc.  But, it came at a price - that activity led to swelling and a lot of painful downtime afterwards.   

I don't think I could have done it alone, not without having just the right things on hand.   My mate went out countless times for supplies from hydrogen peroxide to an ever-changing assortment of pads - to say nothing of food.   And she helped tremendously with post-op care from bandages to hygiene.

If everything goes perfectly with your surgery, you may not need any help at all.   But be prepared for the possibility that it won't.   And then, you'll be very glad for having help.

[warmbody28]

I went to have my GRS alone and the recovery wasn't that bad at all