Not being enough as a woman

[Erica_Y]

Hmm I think a lot of CIS girls think the same thing and we can thank society, cultural and social media pressures among other things. What constitutes enough of womanhood to be a woman anyhow? There is  no measuring system that I have seen other than self acceptance in the end which everybody needs to get to Trans or not. As others have mentioned I think it comes with time that the demons quite down and we figure out strategies that work for us and then we come full circle to realize we are just like other girls in the regard.

One comment I thought I would bring forward is

"
Don't overdo chocolates or sweets either, "nothing tastes as good as being skinny."  At least, that's what I've internalized about my own body-image stuff."

It seems extremely innocent and joking in fun which is how it is intended for sure however there is a super fine line to be caught up in an serious eating disorder non-specified or specified which is extremely easy to get into (a month or two) and very difficult to resolve (years). I am currently living this situation with a family member and the above comment is one of the reasons she actually sites and stays in it among learning to control and deal with her anxiety and her own self acceptance and body image. We have to learn to be happy with our body limitations otherwise we will never be happy as a person. Certain things we can address and fix and others not so much. My intent is not to make anyone feel bad but to put a gentle reminder out  that simple things can take us terrible places we never imagined. Positive internal thoughts are so important especially in the dark moments of that evil second voice.

I thought the following from the ED program paralleled a lot of what we go through in many ways through transition

States of Change:
Pre-Contemplation -(not ready to address issues or admit a problem)
Contemplation - mixed feelings but thinking about stuff
Preparation - Getting ready to make changes and address the situation
Action - Making changes and doing stuff
Maintenance - Practicing Change

At anytime a person can Relapse (struggles) and it is perfectly normal to do so where there is setbacks and such.

I kind of went wow wish we had the same support and programs available to address our issues and changes but we seem to be on our own most of the time.

In the end keep the goal in mind realize that just being on this journey makes you a super strong and amazing person and be kind and gentle to yourself.


Easier said than done for sure.

[Sabrina]

It's a horrible habit but retail therapy helps me with the insecurities. It's a powerful force and I have a hard time resisting sales. I love getting nice things in the mail.

[cindianna_jones]

Believe me, I had many bad times. In my recent breakup, my hubby of 24 years actually used THAT as a reason for his leaving. So, yeah, we sometimes feel inadequate. Or not good enough. Or whatever. I'm feeling pretty good about myself though, even after the breakup. That other woman can deal with his antics. I'll probably never hook up with anyone again, I sort of like living alone, at least for the moment. Most of us go through these feelings, especially when we have awkward moments, job problems, whatever. Sometimes, they'll leak into our thoughts years after the fact.

Or sometimes you just stand in front of the mirror and cry for no reason, wondering if it is the right thing to do. The thing is, some of us (well most, I think) come through it and wonder why we didn't address the problem sooner. I do have a very close friend though, who recently questioned her transition many years after the fact. She always dresses nice, uses makeup and has a perfect voice. She's seen a therapist and now she says she's good. We haven't had a chance to delve into the details since we live so far apart. But that is the only person I have met that ever questioned transition after the fact and quite possibly never needed to.

Chin up!
Cindi