Body dysphoria when putting on make-up?

[transtastic]

When I crossdress part of me wants to do it, but at the same time, when I put make-up in my face and see that jaw line for example, I feel a lot of anxiety. I have to sit down for a minute before continuing. Or when I put on my wig and still see that male forehead I feel totally nauseated. For me crossdressing is a love & hate kind of thing. I have to do it, it releases a lot of stress, but at the same time it triggers an extreme body dysphoria for me. Feels like putting "lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig", as obama said (well, about a budget I believe lol). That is the feeling I get.

Do you get the same feeling or is crossdressing just giving you nice feelings? Are you transsexual or only crossdresser?

Thanks for letting me vent 

[Amber Kitty]

I've only very recently accepted this side of myself and it has in fact pushed me and motivated me to want to change. The things you don't like sound natural, so I guess the only thing I could advise (even though I'm new to this so it might not be too good) would be to look up makeup tutorials and perhaps a different kind of wig?

[transtastic]

I've only very recently accepted this side of myself and it has in fact pushed me and motivated me to want to change. The things you don't like sound natural, so I guess the only thing I could advise (even though I'm new to this so it might not be too good) would be to look up makeup tutorials and perhaps a different kind of wig?

Well, I don't know if a better wig would help. It just feels hopeless to try to make myself into a girl/woman. I want to, I try, but I just feel the futility of it all and get very disappointed/angry/sad/disgusted - all negative emotions at the same time. It's like a need to crossdress, but at the same time it creates a lot of anxiety.

I was wondering if that is significant of a transsexual person or if crossdressers go through the same type of anxiety when crossdressing.
I'm seing a therapist in a few weeks so I'll try to bring that up then also.

45 views and just one answer, so maybe most crossdressers don't recognize these feeling when crossdressing...?!

[Boo Stew]

When I crossdress part of me wants to do it, but at the same time, when I put make-up in my face and see that jaw line for example, I feel a lot of anxiety. I have to sit down for a minute before continuing. Or when I put on my wig and still see that male forehead I feel totally nauseated. For me crossdressing is a love & hate kind of thing. I have to do it, it releases a lot of stress, but at the same time it triggers an extreme body dysphoria for me. Feels like putting "lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig", as obama said (well, about a budget I believe lol). That is the feeling I get.

Do you get the same feeling or is crossdressing just giving you nice feelings? Are you transsexual or only crossdresser?

Thanks for letting me vent 

If I may... In my experience all women cis or trans go through this. Any time you commit to accentuating features or drawing attention away from "trouble areas" through makeup and clothing choices, you become acutely aware of these things. Your problem seems to be that you're focusing on only the negatives when there are surely some positives. Try to dole out some praise for your self with the criticisms.

[transtastic]

If I may... In my experience all women cis or trans go through this. Any time you commit to accentuating features or drawing attention away from "trouble areas" through makeup and clothing choices, you become acutely aware of these things. Your problem seems to be that you're focusing on only the negatives when there are surely some positives. Try to dole out some praise for your self with the criticisms.

That's a good point 

[Gothic Dandy]

I think that a lot of times, people read a thread and then don't respond if they have nothing to say! Don't worry about that too much.

I have similar feelings. I'm in a female body and I like to wear men's clothes. I think I look so stupid in them. I love the clothes themselves, and I love who I am in them, but when I see my reflection, I see a little girl trying to dress up like her big brother. I wouldn't say I feel anxiety, just disappointment. Profound disappointment, and a little bit of humiliation too. Because while I'm inside myself feeling great, that reflection is what everyone else in the world sees.

But I'm not a crossdresser, I'm FTM. I don't want to do it part time. I want to be that person all the time. That person is the real me.

Boo Stew is right, putting on makeup and doing your hair makes you acutely aware of all your imperfections. Some people are able to deal with it better than others. Try to love yourself for being you, and don't worry too much about fitting into the standards of what a pretty woman "should" look like!

[adumava]

This topic definitely hit home with how I am feeling recently. I only just started getting more into makeup, female clothing, and really "crossdressing" when home alone. I like the clothes and I think they are really cute but when I put them on I feel like a hairy man in effeminate clothes that don't fit him. I think it takes the right mindset and some effort to just see that anyone can be cute in the clothes especially if you really want to be. The makeup definitely makes me feel cute in some areas but others don't for now. Maybe some tutorials and practice will change that though.

Not sure if I'm trans or just fluid for now but time will tell and I like what I've been exploring thus far :] that's all that matters

[Robyn37]

I have been crossdressing for years, and don't have any intention to transition for the time being. At some point you have to realize that you have the body of a man, which has significant differences from the bodies of women. The good news is there are lots of ways to accentuate your feminine features (if you are lucky you have quite a few!) and hide the masculine ones. Getting good at makeup can be a big help, it definitely takes practice. Cis girls grow up practicing makeup quite a bit, so we have a lot of catching up to do! There are lots of videos on youtube that can help you with that. There are also different shaping garments to help you have a more feminine shape. Wigs are also pretty tough to figure out, different wigs look better with different facial types and some hairstyles are really tough to pull off with a wig. Body and facial hair is a giant pain. Even different cuts of clothing can help your shoulders look smaller, your waist look smaller, and even help you to not look so tall! There is a lot of information on the internet and a lot of crossdressing online stores that you can learn a lot from, spend some time doing some research. But most of all, just enjoy who you are and know you are not alone!

[Jessie Ann]

I had done some CD at different times over my life.  There were times that I felt exactly as you do.  I tried to use some makeup but I didn't think I looked good at all.  However in my latest foray into the wonderful world of CD something was different.  Maybe I realized that I wasn't just a CD, that I was something more.  My attitude changed, my approach changed and I was able to look on-line on how to apply makeup, how to get your hair put up and under a wig cap so the wigs look more natural and how to wear breast forms and clothing to look more natural.  Making sure that my face was very closely shaven was a big help.  Using concealers under my foundation helped to even out some of the different areas of my face.  Then I realized it was all about the eyes for me.  Once I got the hang of false lashes, liner, shadow and mascara it made a big difference.  Once I realized who I truly was my opinion of myself changed so that I didn't focus on the bad but on the good.  Matching my hair style to the makeup, the dress, the earrings, the necklace, the tights and to the shoes allowed me to see what the complete package can look like. 

As Robyn37 said there is a wealth of information out there to help you figure out what works for you. 

I get rid of that male forehead thing by wearing wigs that have cute bangs so that they can cover it up.  Also by using a wig cap (I use knee high stockings that I tie off and cut the toe end off of) you can put that lower down on your forehead and clip the wig to the cap.  I use contour clips to secure the wig cap to my hair and then the wig to the cap.  It really works to keep the wig secure and in the proper place.     

[Jessie Ann]

I forgot to add that Amazon is a great place to try out different styles, colors and lengths of wigs relatively cheap.  I have got a number of different ones for under $10.  I know that they are cheap and won't last a long time but it allows me to explore different options until I find the one that is me.  Once I have decided on a length, color and style I am going to look for a real hair one in that style that I can wear until my hair is ready to be cut, colored and styled in that way.  Once I can post some pictures I can show you what I mean.

[Jaiden986]

I feel your pain,for me its my face,ive beem.getting into better shape the past 8 months bit it kills the whole mood for me when I.see.my chin and facial hair shadow(gonna try waxing for that),other wise my body looks feminine,consodering ffs,until im financially secure enough to change professions and transition its crossdressing.for now

[StrykerXIII]

The shape, length, and cut of your wig will make a huge difference. The lines in your clothing will, too.

Jaiden, I don't know how much this will help, but for that shadow, you could try the Dollar Shave Club. I had felt fairly hopeless about mine til I got a one-year subscription as a gift. Those razors make a huge, I mean MASSIVE difference. I shave every two to three days, and, well, the proof is in my avatar!

[Jaiden986]

I wish a good razor would do it but it doesnt,i have to shave every day as mine comes in quickly, waxing is my next option and im considering laser treatments(nuclear option lol) also

[Paula L]

I am not worried about "passing' as I normaly just dress with my girl friends at home    am planing to go out to a transgender bar sometime in the future thoug   was there once  not girled up then  but there are many ppl there guys girls   not everyone worries about the passing thing for me its just feeling I do my best with what I have

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I get a mild feeling of dissatisfaction but that's only because I've gained weight and as many biological men do, it's gathered around my belly.

When I lose that fat around that area, my waist (and general body shape) is a bit more feminine.

[willowhope]

I have been reading through the website, and I stated in another post that I'm not trans! A dear, sweet friend of mine just told me that he was. That is why I came to this website to see the things that he's really been feeling and I thought that by being here, that I might get a clue as to the problems that other transgendered people are going through. With all of that being said, you all have the same problems as all men and women. All women have the clothing not fitting right here or there, with bra sizes, with hair, etc. I know that most MTF wear wigs, but they are no different than what women go through with our real hair. What style will accentuate our faces the best? What makeup shade should I use? which eyeliner will bring out my eyes more? I never noticed that no matter what we are, we are all dealing with the same problems. Youtube could be your best friend. There are tons of videos on applying make up, stuff like that. I'm a 42 year old women, and I still go there for the latest makeup tips. I applaud all of you who are venturing down this road. I'm sure the uncertainty must be torture on you. But, just know that your not dealing with anything that all women deal with, no matter how many years we've been women.

[darlene143]

I too have had these feelings about my face, I found a wig that had bangs and am slowly real slowly getting better at the make up and though I still see some of the masculine attibutes, it doesnt bother me as much because when I started looking at womans faces more my age I realized I blend in nicely. I had to get over that predetermined idea of what a woman looks like and I'm more confident now.