So ugly as a man, that FFS is the only option.

[SarahJane]

I have a problem. I'm an ugly man. Not even average looking. I know I'm ugly because of how I'm treated in the real world and I've also submitted my pic to beautifulpeople.com and didn't get accepted (the members vote on who can get in), while pictures of "ugly" and obese people I've found on the net have gotten in. When hotornot had a number rating system, I got a 5.5.

So I looked into plastic surgeries, and basically there's nothing they can do for me. My nose is so big, a new "male" nose won't make me good-looking nor will a masculinization "chin implant". I've been to "regular" plastic surgeons (to improve my face as a male), as they just tell me there's nothing to be done...if I mess with my face, I'll look strange. I don't look old. I am just a beyond-hope overly masculine, brooding looking ugly guy.

I have a weight problem, but that's not what's making me ugly - the bones of my face are. Then I discovered facial feminization surgery online. It seems like a beacon of hope for me, if I can't be a "hunk", maybe I can be a pretty woman-looking like man. Don't get me wrong, this isn't to be "strange", but I know those masculization procedures won't help me I'm so ugly, and I'd rather be regarded as "pretty" than "handsome" anyway. It would be nice to just totally reverse the effects of the testosterone on my skull - which isn't to say that I want to look like an adult version of the way I was when I was 13 (I was a pretty child, puberty destroyed my looks), but out of all options, FFS seems like it would give me the most attractive face.

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there or you know anyone out there in a similar situation - who isn't necessarily going to get SRS, but just wants the optimal-looking face. I don't want to post my pic now, but you have to believe me. There is no procedure that can make me a "good looking man", only the extreme FFS which can beautify my features and help erase the effects of my skull's altered bones.

Sad, really - I was a good looking boy. At 17, I had a growth spurt that gave me a big nose, huge jaw, huge forehead and brow bossing. Everything so huge that the "male" version of these reduction surgeries would just leave me an average looking man. I'd rather be an attractive woman, or at the very least a "pretty" man.

[Devlyn]

Hi SarahJane, welcome to Susan's Place! First, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Second, people come in all shapes, sizes, and styles.Third, it's always better practice to count what you do have than what you don't. Concentrate on your strengths.

Hugs, Devlyn

[SarahJane]

My pic: http://s1325.photobucket.com/user/my_photo_album_pics/media/CIMG6131_zpsc9aqpyf9.jpg.html

Note: What I just described isn't soley for cosmetic reasons, I do have gender dysphoria (or I wouldn't be posting to MtF).

I really want to see a totally unmasculine looking face. The nose, jawline and especially the forehead bossing don't look like hormones could do much for them. I'm trying to get hormones to escape man face and am at a point where I don't care if I get called "ma'am" or not. Just to see those horrible post-puberty effects go away.

[Damara]

Hmm.. While I do see masculine features, I definitely don't see anything terribly excessive. Especially your jaw area.. and even your nose isn't a big issue. IMO.. I think hormones could help a lot!

[Devlyn]

I remember you here under a different account, don't I? The pictures are familiar. Apologies if I'm mistaken.

Hugs, Devlyn

[missymay]

Hi, I remember seeing your pictures here on Susan's, also.  I don't think you're ugly at all, but what is causing your nose to look so muddy in the picture of you with the blonde hair? Anyway, I would suggest sending some pictures to one of the FFS surgeons for a consultation, and find out what they recommend, and go from there. Best wishes 

[suzifrommd]

Sarah Jane, you are beautiful. I saw the pictures, and I see a sweet feminine soul. Please do not let anyone (including yourself) EVER put down your looks.

You may not look the way you wish you could look. Many of us don't. You may decide that you prefer a look better that you can achieve through FFS. If yes, then do it.

But not because you think you're ugly. You're not. You're beautiful. If you go for FFS, please do it from a place of self-acceptance. Your acceptance of yourself need not be conditioned based on what you look like.

[GendrKweer]

Sarah Jane, you are beautiful. I saw the pictures, and I see a sweet feminine soul. Please do not let anyone (including yourself) EVER put down your looks.

You may not look the way you wish you could look. Many of us don't. You may decide that you prefer a look better that you can achieve through FFS. If yes, then do it.

But not because you think you're ugly. You're not. You're beautiful. If you go for FFS, please do it from a place of self-acceptance. Your acceptance of yourself need not be conditioned based on what you look like.

^^^This. Dysphoria is not only about feeling you're in the wrong body; thinking there are "huge" problems where there are really not is another form. We all have it to some extent--cis or not.

Maybe try these guys. They take your pics and modify them through Photoshop to give you a decent idea of what can be done or not. It costs a few bucks, but it might give you some food for thought. I did it ages ago, and it was pretty cool, a good value and interesting results. I'm not sure what they would do regarding weight loss, which would of course give you a whole different look, but it's worth asking...

http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/

[Muffinheart]

After six years full time, there is one constant in my life: I'll always find something about me to criticize.
As my BFF said yesterday: "Nina, you sound like every woman."

[ImagineKate]

Sarah Jane,

You look like you do have potential but I do need to ask - were you always that weight? Some people turn from ugly ducklings to swans when they slim down. It would benefit your health too.

I don't see much ugly in your face at all. Typical male markers but not really ugly. You look average to be honest.

[LizMarie]

SarahJane, I see some of what you're saying but it's not nearly as bad as some other cases I've seen and FFS surgeons can do wonders.

But at the same time, I would urge what a few others have mentioned - for your health's sake and because many FFS surgeons may be reluctant to operate if you are very far overweight, I recommend getting your weight under control. You don't have to be skinny but getting down to a healthy BMI would both help your face and allow an FFS surgeon to make a clearer assessment of what changes actually need to be made.

I can see a lot of potential in your face in the hands of the right FFS surgeon.

[ChiGirl]

Thanks for posting your picture.  That was brave.  You are definitely NOT ugly.  In fact, I think you and I have similar features.  Your nose is a little wider, but other than that.  I would definitely talk to a therapist before making any major surgical changes.  If you do feel gender dysphoric, than perhaps starting hormones and see what kind of feminizing effect they'll have.

You also might want to lose a lite weight.  That can work wonders, too.  That's my problem, too, and I've already lost over 20 lbs.  It ain't easy, but it's better and cheaper than surgery! [emoji1]

If you want, I'll post my photo so you see what I mean.  Good luck and hugs.  Remember you are not alone!

[SarahJane]

I want to thank you all for your input. One thing that's stuck with me for years was, there is a website where you can post your picture and someone gives a one word description of your appearance. One person said "drag" and another said "boy", I was the only one this was happening to - out of maybe at least 50 pictures I browsed, no one who looked female-like was being called "boy", and I'm sure the site had Mtfs who flew under the radar. When I go out wearing even androgynous shoes and clothes, I get clocked. It's like, everything has to be perfect - the shoes, feminine looking clothing, medium-length or long hair, make-up that looks professionally applied. If I had the same face, but was say 5'8, I don't think it would be an issue, but I'm 6'1, the kind of guy others says "do you play football" to. I've seen women larger than me (build wise), but they have the most feminine looking faces, angular noses, foreheads with literally no brow bossing whatsoever. Walking down the street at night 7 years ago, I got asked if I was a guy or a girl and it really discouraged me, as I was all made up.

I'll work on the weight.

[ImagineKate]

I would also discuss it with your doctor. If you're above a certain BMI, insurance may cover weight loss surgery. That is, if you want that. I lost 45 lbs (210 to 165) the regular way and I was very happy with that. But I have a friend who was 350 and he is down to almost 210 now. He got the gastric sleeve He looks completely different and better. His insurance paid for it. Even our Governor (Chris Christie) got weight loss surgery (lap band) and he's looking better by the day. I would consider that long before any FFS and as I've mentioned, it has many health benefits too.

There is also the regular way (diet and exercise) but you need to stick with it and be motivated. It can be done it just takes longer and is harder.

[naomi599]

I think you have a lot going for you Sarah! your face looks great already. I'm right there beside you with the weight and height. I myself am waiting on the weather to warm up before starting to go walking again to shed the pounds I have gained from depression from coming off HRT (be back on in a few months). The best thing for you to do is set goals and pursue them (steps in your transition). Don't listen to random trolls from the internet that only bring you down. You will find the most feminizing thing out there is relentless confidence in yourself when your out and about. I think with time and a little weight loss, you definitely have a good chance in passing everyday. I don't like to hammer on the weight that much because it is a sensitive area for me as well. You are correct on one huge subject, besides the things that are out of our control for the time being (the now), stuff like hair and makeup affect our ability to pass by a huge margin. The biggest thing that brings presentation together is confidence. Never let people bring you down because for now all we need is time and then we will shine beautifully like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. You are beautiful and everyone else will eventually see it too, so hang in there girl!