If I felt better off the HRT, I would have concluded that I am not really female-gendered, but rather a non-binary person who would have liked to be female. Therefore, I do think it should give one pause if the estrogen does not feel right. Supposedly, the estrogens can be very unpleasant for people who were not meant to be female. I know how painful it can be to want something that does not feel right, but in the end you will be happier if you can accept yourself, whichever way that is or somewhere in between.
Before giving up on transitioning, however, I would agree with those who recommend adjusting dosages and route of administration. Estrogens can feel very different depending on how they are taken, and no one method or level is right for everyone.
Remember, though, that there is a difference between estrogens and anti-androgens. Most anti-androgens are actually androgenic themselves, including spironolactone and MPA. Even progesterone, usually considered a 'female' hormone, can have androgenic effects. Many trans women, myself included, do not like the physical and emotional effects of spironolactone and progesterone. For me, however, that is because I think they are masculinizing.
For me, estradiol is an effective antidepressant at low levels and has a euphoric effect at higher levels. I love everything about it, the mood swings included; it feels so good to finally 'feel' female. However, it was not until I went on estradiol that I felt confident in my femininity. Without it, I sink into depression and dysphoria in a matter of hours, and no longer feel female. It does give me mental clarity and makes me feel free to express myself. Even my family admits that I look and act more feminine now.
