I think I am losing a close friend.

[Christy82]

I recently told a friend who I really am, and how I feel.  She didn't believe me.  She wouldn't even talk about it.  I thought she would take the news better, she has seen me with makeup on and stuff.   She now believes me (I told her that if she wanted proof, she could go to the Dr.'s with me) and won't talk to me.  She sent me a message last night saying she didn't want me to change.  I told her that I would always be me.  It really hurts because we used to date and I thought she understood how I felt. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to her, or should I just see if she comes around on her on?
Sorry for this, but I have no where else to get help on this.

[Ms Grace]

Hi, some people do come around eventually. Some never do. It's always hard to tell how people will react. It's possible that given you once dated her she may now be confused, reexamining or concerned about her own sexuality. If she's not willing to talk about it I'd suggest giving her some space and time.

[Christy82]

I really didn't think of it that way.  I should have given it some thought.  I hope she does come around.

[Eveline]

I recently told a friend who I really am, and how I feel.  She didn't believe me.  She wouldn't even talk about it.  I thought she would take the news better, she has seen me with makeup on and stuff.   She now believes me (I told her that if she wanted proof, she could go to the Dr.'s with me) and won't talk to me.  She sent me a message last night saying she didn't want me to change. ...

Christy, she may just need more time to process her feelings.

Some people react to a transition like they completely losing the person they knew, and they have to work through the denial, anger, etc. that are the normal stages of dealing with loss. The last stage is acceptance...

[Sunderland]

*hugs*

I hope she comes around. Maybe she just needs time to process it. It sucks that she isn't taking it well, though.

[natalie19]

People come around, just give them time.

[Cindy]

I had almost the exact experience. After we met a few times and talked she told me that she had wanted to date me as a guy and didn't want to lose me. Nowadays she is a very close female friend. We are like sisters, it took her some time to realise that I'm a woman, now she does she realises that I would never be boyfriend material, but I am her close friend.

[katrinaw]

Christy, hmmm, old GF? Maybe she still has thoughts of how it used to be???

Anyway, as already noted before, time and space may well bring a good outcome.

Good luck, hope you both remain close...

Hugs

Katy 

[Eiahn]

It can be one of the most difficult thing to do when we really care about someone and want to make sure everything will be alright, but as mentioned above, time might be what she needs at the moment.

Perhaps just let her know that you understand she may need time and that you are there whenever she is ready to talk.

[SpiffyTiffy]

Consider how long it took you to come to terms with it. Then look at those who know us best. It is often unrealistic to expect immediate acceptance from everyone right away.

What took many of us years to deal with it can take days, weeks or years for others. I learned this the hard way and after several brutal months I think my mother is starting to talk to me again.


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[Serena]

Maybe she needs a little more tim to come to terms with things, hopefully she will understand that you're still you, and that she's probably going to miss you if she decides to break the relationship! Anyway, I am sorry for what you are going through! Big hugs! You always have us you can talk to!

[Christy82]

Just a little update.

Well, I was hoping my friend would come around, but she hasn't.  She has decided that our friendship wasn't worth much.  I am a little upset that she feels the way she does, but I can understand.  At least when you go through things like this in life you know who will stick by you.

[Autumnleaf]

Wow, that's really sad.  I'm sorry to hear that.  I recently told a co-worker/friend about what I'm going through and she was very supportive.  It seems like the people you think you can count on can let you down but some people you would never consider may surprise you. 

[Jill F]

I am so sorry to hear about your so-called friend.  I think of my tranistion as a kind of "friendship stress test". 

When I came out, the reactions were very mixed.   Some were amazingly positive, some not so much.  The good news was that I got to know for sure what all of my friends and family were really made of when all of my cards were down on the table.  I am just glad I found out who my allies REALLY were, and with whom I was wasting my time all along.  I am also glad that I never burned a single bridge, because some people who reacted badly at first came around later and are now now my biggest supporters.  I think that once people got a load of the real, happy me, they "got it".

I now know upon whom I can truly count, and that is priceless. 

[evecrook]

It does suck. I found a niece I lost from a family dispute then lost because I'm a bit different. actually it more than sucks, she was the only one who wanted to know me and I guess found out too much.

[Rachel]

Sorry your ex friend did not support you. As others have said you will lose a few and you will gain more than you lose. However, the ones that support you really support you.

[silentone]

This is one of my fears. I have tons of friends that I have known since kindergarden. Many of whom are exs. I hope she does some around.

[Christy82]

Well, just a little sad update.  I really have tried to work things out with my "friend".  It just wasn't meant to be i guess.  I thought that I could try and keep her as a friend.  We have parted ways, and I have to except the fact that we will not be friends anymore.  Through out all of this, I am now down to exactly one friend.  Well, I guess I can go it alone, but it will be very difficult.