Family coming, been thinkin'

[PastyPrincess]

So I learned that my aunt will be visiting shortly, and this got me thinking a little bit. The last times I've been visiting my aunt/my aunt visiting me, I have been finding myself trying not to burst into tears at times, including but not limited  to my aunt not buying a certain pair of shoes citing "It's not for boys, it's only for girls", or when I was partially joking one time and said "I don't want a girlfriend, I want a boyfriend" and my aunt started yelling, or when I tried to come out to my family and was dismissed being told "I'm going to grow up to be a bit strong man". I've been thinking, these have happened a long time ago, and maybe she's a changed soul? Or maybe I should just be quiet about all this? She's only going to be visiting for a short time, I wouldn't want to end up making things go awry. Advice??

[suzifrommd]

I don't know either of you, so I can't give you direct advice, just general thoughts.

What do you want out of this? A pleasant day? Or a closer relationship with your aunt?

If a pleasant day, than best steer things away from gender issues (though don't hide who you are - that's soul-destroying).

If you want a better relationship with your aunt, you'd need to take a risk - the risk that she'll be too closed-minded to be comfortable with the real you. There's no way you can make that risk go away.

If you're willing to take the risk,  I don't think you can be closer to her without her knowing who you are. I'd come out to her and tell her who you are, as honestly and straightforwardly as possible. Make sure she knows this isn't something you chose, that it isn't going to "go away", and that it's very painful to pretend to be someone else.