Being trans and self defense

[rachel89]

As I transition, I realize that i could possibly be in danger trans bashing when I present more often. One of my trans friends carries and thinks that I also consider carrying and taking self-defense classes. I am taking her advice seriously, but I am also looking for some advice here and it makes me upset that any money that I spend on a weapon is money that won't be spent on hair removal, surgeries, hormones, therapy, makeup, clothing. Unfortunately trans-bashing is real and can permanently end a transition or leave the victim with extremely serious injuries. I am looking for some guidance on this issue.

[marsh monster]

Is it really a problem where you live?  Or is it a fear conjured up by reading what happens to some trans people in bad places?


Sure, its always a good idea to be safe, but you can do that without carrying a gun. Watching where you go, when you go, keeping alert of who is around you and what they are doing. Also you can carry a whistle, maybe some mace or taser. Basically stuff that many women have to do.

[StrykerXIII]

Learning to defend yourself in hand-to-hand combat is a good place to start. I grew up fighting, was bullied constantly, so I had to learn the hard way. I didn't realise how useful it would be until the first time I went out in girl mode late at night. I had to defend myself against a guy who had managed to clock me while I was downtown...luckily, all it took was me taking a defensive stance and vocalizing that I wasn't about to go down easy.

[Devlyn]

Knowing self defense is better than not knowing it. Beware, though, the woman who decides to take karate classes to defend herself at age twenty-five?  She's likely to be defending herself from a man who started taking karate at age eight. Drive by a martial arts studio some day. Food for thought.

Disclaimer: Not meant to flame men, karate, or anything else.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Eevee]

Learning self defense definitely can help, but I'd like to point out that it should not be a method that you ultimately rely on. There will always be someone out there who is faster, stronger, and more determined than you are. This is true for everyone, and not just trans individuals. This also becomes much less effective when you are assaulted with a weapon.

One other option is getting a gun for self-defense. This works as long as you know how to use it and you realize what the possible consequences of firing it can lead to. Weapons can also be taken from you and used against you, so be careful with this route. Even if you have a gun, knowing other self defense methods are still useful.

Mace or stun guns are great options as well. They will help you defend yourself without the lethal consequences of a firearm. They are also allowed in more public and private locations. I recommend this for most people.

I personally use a combination of all of that, since it doesn't hurt to be too safe. I used to take martial arts lessons and I grew very comfortable with firearms in the military. I still carry a stun gun because I'd rather not have to use either of the other two options until they are absolutely necessary. So far I haven't had to defend myself, but I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

[ImagineKate]

Carrying is good but get some good training. I carry. A word about off body carry - I do not like putting a gun in a purse. I also don't like flashbang bra holsters either. Fanny packs are fine but leg, corset, shoulder and inside the waistband holsters are good too.

[marsh monster]

Just remember, even if you think you are prepared, it doesn't mean that its a good idea to take that shortcut you don't know well or down that dark alley to save time. Knowing the self defense and/or carrying should never be instead of taking smart precautions and being aware of your surroundings and avoiding certain things just to be safe.  Sadly, sometimes self defense isn't reason enough to keep you out of trouble if you had to use a weapon on someone.

[rachel89]

my friend has to work in a somewhat dangerous area and doesn't live in the most trans friendly neighboorhood. The area I live in isn't exactly LGBT friendly but isn't a hot spot for for murders of trans women either. I wouldn't feel entirely safe going out at night not passing except for gay bars or other spaces for LGBT people. In the daytime people might stare and act like I'm some kind of an alien but they are also reasonably civilized for LGBT-phobes (or maybe they have never seen an actual trans person before and have the maturity level of toddlers). Maybe I am a little panicky but it's not like dangerous transphobia in the Midwest is entirely a figment of my imagination either.

[Jill F]

My best advice is to avoid situations where you may need to defend yourself from violence.   I don't walk alone unless it's in a very public place.  There are places I won't go at night, and other places I won't even go in broad daylight.  There are certain bars I won't go to anymore, and there are neighborhoods where transwomen are more likely to end up as statistics.

[rachel89]

It's fairly easy to avoid the bad neighborhoods where I live, but I'm worried about the group of rednecks/methheads in the wal-mart parking lot who think beating up a trans woman would be good entertainment on a Friday night or the fundamentalist whack job who is frothing at the mouth because they are once again on the losing side of history and decide killing an LGBT person will make them feel better. In any case, people around here are more accepting if you are into guns and gas-guzzling pick up trucks like they are and when I start passing better, I will need to get some Daisy Dukes and a camouflage tube top, or just wear cheap gaudy pajamas to wal-mart;D

[skin]

Keep in mind that being trans means you are far more likely to be charged for assault for defending yourself than a cis person. And if you are a transwoman of color there is no such thing as a right to defend yourself.

[Kellam]

This is one of the things that made it hard for me to accept this path. Luckily for me I'm quite good at taking blows to the head, natural gift and experience. As a man I quite enjoyed very late night strolls. I learned a few skills and intimidating stances and vocalizing are keys to safety. Confidence in your stride is another. Walk briskly, with direction and purpose, never listen to anything on earphones. Keep valuables out of sight. It is safer in a car or on a bicycle than walking. Selective hearing is good too. If someone is trying to engage you verbaly, keep moving and ignore, most people won't persist.

I supose though that my late night walks have reached their endpoint. And I'll probably never get another chance to hug my mugger, I did that once...I can have a silver tongue when I want to...

[rachel89]

I made a decision to purchase a pistol today, and at least learn how to shoot. I also got some guidance on recognizing and avoiding bad situations in the first place from some cis girlfriends (things your never really taught growing up as a male in a fairly safe area). I still have a lot of doubts about carrying a pistol though, and still think pepper spray or a taser might be a better option. I don't want to be too paranoid, but I don't think I should pretend that trans bashing never happens either.

[ImagineKate]

I made a decision to purchase a pistol today, and at least learn how to shoot. I also got some guidance on recognizing and avoiding bad situations in the first place from some cis girlfriends (things your never really taught growing up as a male in a fairly safe area). I still have a lot of doubts about carrying a pistol though, and still think pepper spray or a taser might be a better option. I don't want to be too paranoid, but I don't think I should pretend that trans bashing never happens either.

Congratulations. But as you said you need to train. Train, train, train. Carrying a pistol you aren't trained how to use is extremely dangerous, IMO. However if you are trained in how to carry it and safely use it you will be good to go.

I would recommend the NRA basic pistol course as well as refuse to be a victim. The former is a general how to use and maintain a firearm and the latter is the flagship self defense course. The NRA basic course may also help qualify you for a concealed carry permit in your state.

Of course avoiding trouble is always best.

[barbie]

My best advice is to avoid situations where you may need to defend yourself from violence.

Yes. It is the best and the only one solution. If you every have to use a pistol or physical force, you already failed, and those methods are not so much effective, sometimes generating more serious problems.

barbie~~

[ImagineKate]

Yes. It is the best and the only one solution. If you every have to use a pistol or physical force, you already failed, and those methods are not so much effective, sometimes generating more serious problems.

barbie~~

I agree with the general premise about avoiding stuff but I disagree about being prepared (I am a former law enforcement officer). Trouble happens when you least expect it. Being prepared is wise. Doesn't even have to be with a firearm because frankly one needs a lot of training before carrying one. But a kubotan or pepper spray or even simply learning to fight back can mean the difference between being killed or getting away.

[rachel89]

So far, my approach to this is avoid bad situations, always carry my phone, carry a non-firearm weapon, learn martial arts (I need to get in better shape anyway), learn how to shoot and then make a decision about concealed carry, and avoid bad situations. Or maybe my fear of transphobia is just a little out of control?

[Christy82]

Just always be aware of your surroundings.  If something doesn't feel right, then listen to that feeling.  I am not out yet in public, but I am a little paranoid and have gone to riding with a big can of bear repellent and a dashcam that records sound and is on a loop.  I live in an area where the violence is on a rise. 

[big kim]

The best self defence is to not be there.If you have to go to a rough part of town stick to busy well lit streets.If you get into a fight be prepared to fight dirty and take a DNA sample by pulling hair or scratching.Also scratching a face with nails will mark them for a week or so(as well as hurting like hell) and help tracing them.

[barbie]

I agree with the general premise about avoiding stuff but I disagree about being prepared (I am a former law enforcement officer). Trouble happens when you least expect it. Being prepared is wise. Doesn't even have to be with a firearm because frankly one needs a lot of training before carrying one. But a kubotan or pepper spray or even simply learning to fight back can mean the difference between being killed or getting away.

Yes. There are some differences between my and your country regarding self defense and pistol. Possession of gun is not allowed here. Even excessive self defense can be a serious crime here: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/culture/2014/12/135_169821.html

Yes. My experience tells that suburban areas of major cities of the U.S. are very dangerous. I was once  virtually raped about 12 years ago there. I was just lucky to survive. As I wore high heels, I could not run fast... After than, I did not repeat the same mistake.

barbie~~