Being trans and self defense

[ImagineKate]

Yes. There are some differences between my and your country regarding self defense and pistol. Possession of gun is not allowed here. Even excessive self defense can be a serious crime here: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/culture/2014/12/135_169821.html

Yes. My experience tells that suburban areas of major cities of the U.S. are very dangerous. I was once  virtually raped about 12 years ago there. I was just lucky to survive. As I wore high heels, I could not run fast... After than, I did not repeat the same mistake.

barbie~~

Well having lived in the burbs of America's biggest city I've never really had any problems. Then again I carry and I've had to draw my pistol in self defense a few times, most recently being Bridgeport CT, not exactly known for being a nice area. Didn't shoot at anyone, well at least not in my own personal self defense. I would have probably been robbed or dead had I not had my weapon.

Astonishingly enough the places with the fewest restrictions on firearms in the USA have the lowest crime rates. Vermont and Utah come to mind.

But anyway lots of people I know carry, you wouldn't know either unless they told you.

[AndreaLinda]

There is no place more dangerous than where I used to live (Venezuela). And let me tell you this, you don't need violence to defeat violence. If you are smart enough, you could get out of any situation just using your words.

[rachel89]

I'm not really into the whole gun culture thing that much, I just don't want to be some kind of a martyr for trans people, we have far too many already, I am sick of it, I am sick of having the need for TDOR. I am still coming to a decision on concealed carry, I understand that handguns have many downsides, but I will learn and keep my options open. I wish this thread had no relevance to being trans in the first place.

[Evolving Beauty]

I come from a horridly homophobic country. Only I know what I underwent until I escaped into the safe haven of Europe. Self defense is such an old-fashioned method. We are women in our head, most of us can't fight physically like dudes(some can though). It wont use a lot specially when they come in gang which is the case most of the time. Well try to walk with an automatic knife or pepper spray(specially if attacked by gangs) and panic alarm. It's how I use to repell random attackers from the streets of my country. They would always hurl projectiles on me as bottles, stones at times would attempt to snatch my wig and much worse stuff.

[Lady Smith]

When I was transitioning I learned Tai Chi which had the benefit of calming and centering myself as well as useful exercise and learning how to defend myself.  The one time I had to face off a thief who was after my shoulder bag all it took was me shifting my stance into a defensive position with a no nonsense expression on my face and he immediately ran off.
Later on I attended karate classes for a while because there was no Tai Chi classes where I was living at the time, but I didn't really like it and many of the form movements were too different to those I already knew.  I don't like guns and even with handguns being illegal here in New Zealand I wouldn't want one.  The problem with weapons is that they can be taken from you and used against you.  I studied Iaido for a while, but purely for the self discipline of being able to properly handle a sharp sword.  There's no way on earth I would want to use a blade of any kind against anyone though and besides it's not exactly a good fit with being a Franciscan.

The only 'weapon' I did carry sometimes was a small plastic snap top container filled with black pepper because pepper spray is illegal here.  Again I did manage to stand off some youths who had been throwing stones at me by holding my pepper pot in my hand in a ready to click the top off kind of stance.  They didn't know what I had and fortunately they were too chicken to find out.

[rachel89]

Fort Wayne, isn't that bad, but I wouldn't feel safe not passing at night in a lot of places. my idea of staying safe mostly involves not going alone after dark before passing, not that being female keeps you safe, but not passing exposes you to transphobia. it is a fairly conservative area, so it seems like no one would be in a hurry to help me if I were attacked.

[BunnyBee]

I have not ever been in danger of being bashed or anything like that but I have had scary men come onto me in scary ways.  Being trans increases your risk, but so does just being a woman, don't forget that.

In one situation I am thinking of I felt like I had no way out of it except my wits and I vividly remember being so nervous and wishing maybe I had some kind of a backup if that failed.  On my way back home, once I wriggled out of the situation, I was thinking very seriously about getting some mace to keep in my purse or something like that.  Now that some time has passed though, my feeling is that I eluded trouble by diffusing the situation, NOT escalating it.  Mace could escalate a situation...a gun is the ultimate escalation.  If you have great skill and training, like somebody said they were in law enforcement, yeah I can see a gun being perfectly reasonable to have.  But if not, it just seems like a bad idea to me, certainly for me it's a bad idea.  Mace otoh... idk, it might be smart to have.

I honestly don't know the right answer to self-defense for women, or if the answer is different for trans women with our somewhat elevated risk.  I think the advice to just be careful is good.  I do think I have been very careful, often I feel like I am being hyper-viligant to a fault and I'm going to give myself an ulcer with all the worry.  But, ya know, I think the smart thing is just try not to put yourself in terrible positions.  One time I was being practically groped by two men on the train who would not leave me alone, and I was 1000% safer because it was the middle of the day and the train was full of people.  If I had been alone because it was in the middle of the night, prob a different outcome to that ordeal.

Generally speaking, if you don't put yourself in risk-to-the-max situations you'll almost for sure be fine.  It's mostly ghost stories that drive the fear into our heads and hearts, and maybe I have told some ghost stories of my own in this post.  But honestly, even though I have been scared, I probably have never been in real actual danger.  Also I'm speaking of one or two things that happened to me, but I feel like I'm making it sound like my life is full of terror.  It isn't, like not at all.  I actually don't believe there is any practical risk out there for most of us.  Can bad things happen?  Yes, of course, they DO happen, but the odds are very low if you just approach being alone like a woman and not a man.  Don't go walking out in the middle of the night by yourself!  You simply can't safely do that anymore!  Things like that...

[ImagineKate]

There is no place more dangerous than where I used to live (Venezuela). And let me tell you this, you don't need violence to defeat violence. If you are smart enough, you could get out of any situation just using your words.

I've been there (I am from Trinidad) you are not kidding!

[Beatriz]

I'm not sure myself of what to do.

I live in Brazil, and while I don't know its generalized violence or homophobia statistics, it's the country that kills the most transvestites and transsexual people in the world - second place is Mexico, which has a 4x lower kill count per year, so... of course I try to stay safe, but pretty much everywhere in the city is a dangerous neighborhood, including where I live. I rely mostly on public transportation to get around, as we don't have money to get a car and the traffic jams are insane and a waste of time anyway. I don't have a bicycle either.

I do pass for the most part, including voice-wise, so on that side I'm ok. I've been sexually harrassed and verbally abused by youths back when I didn't though, and while I don't think it'd happen now, Brazil is still not exactly the safest place around in terms of transphobia, homophobia and sexism.

I know a bit of martial arts, enough for self-defense, but I'd likely be seriously injured if someone came at me with a stick or beer bottle or something (which is almost a cultural trait here). And the risk of an aggressor coming at me under the effect of crack, drugs or alcohol is very real, so just a self-defense stance might aggravate it...

[big kim]

If someone loaded with alcohol trys to attack you and you're sober you stand a good chance of winning.I'm no badass but I never lost a fight with a drunk when I was sober

[ainsley]

I grew up in Flint, Mi which was the murder capital of the US for many years running.  I never felt like I needed a gun to feel safe.  Now, in middle Missouri I carry a gun in my truck simply because I am trans.  My wife and I get 'that feeling' many times around the city where we work and since Missouri allows a weapon in your vehicle, we carry it.  Some of the people in the neighborhoods I have to drive through will be standing on the corner where there is a stop sign and they stare us down so much that we feel more comfortable with our "force multiplier" in the vehicle. 

[suzifrommd]

I'm no badass but I never lost a fight with a drunk when I was sober

Um ... Kim, the fact that you even got into a fight with a drunk (or anyone) makes you a badass. I have never, in my adult life, either gotten in a fight or been in a place where a fight happened.

I'm uncoordinated, skinny and klutzy. I'm pretty sure that anyone with any level of fighting skill could easily kill me, drunk or sober.

[Beatriz]

If someone loaded with alcohol trys to attack you and you're sober you stand a good chance of winning.I'm no badass but I never lost a fight with a drunk when I was sober

Yeah. It's just, I don't really walk around armed, and it wouldn't be too fun for a drunkard or two to come at me with a beer bottle, a mace of some sorts or a knife, even if they're drunk. I'd definitely be able to get away if not gotten by surprise, but that relies on an if.

Muggers in Brazil (at least in São Paulo) that'd come at you are often under the effect of either crack or abstinence too, which doesn't lower their fighting progress at all, instead making it so that I most likely can't get away from the situation without either them getting what they want or me getting hurt. Not fun².

Sure, I pass, but if some dude ever attempts to rape me and I'm unprepared I'd be lucky to come out of it alive.

[girlygirl002]

There are hate in every country sadly..

[michelle666]

I have an LTC and a couple of guns but never carry. I don't want to put myself in a situation where i can potentially take a life or have a situation turn on me and have that gun used on myself.

[Anna-Maria]

Self defense is one of the things I´m going to start out with later this year. Regardless if you believe that there´s a "real" thread to yourself, one must not forget that in this misogynistic world we´re living in, women (whether cis or trans) are in constant danger. Just think about a walk home alone in the darkness. Being in an underground car park at night and you hear a distant noise coming closer,  or just taking the last subway home. There are myriads of situations where you can find yourself trapped in a dangerous situation, being actually attacked, raped, whatever.

For myself, I think Krav Maga provides with the best strategy, self defense tactics and mechanisms to cope with such situations. The idea of Krav Maga is to practice a form of self defense that takes "natural body moves", tenseness, and, of course, your everyday´s clothing into account. Going so far, to provide with courses where you can practice self defense in your everyday´s clothing in an everyday´s surrounding, which is very helpful. You should be able to defend yourself even when wearing high-heels 

[Jerri]

It is very sad that we need to be so very careful and aware, I try to not be alone when I have to enter area's where I suspect trouble, When I need to travel I try to make contact with a local support groups in the area to learn area's to avoid. always be alert and listen to my feelings.
If you choose to use a weapon I highly recomend an advanced training program, I really like front sight they teach muscle memory for weapon alignment, they also have some very defined sessions on knife defense or hand to hand. if you do not have advanced training your risking so much to bring a weapon into an elevated situation.
Either way it is my experience that as a transsexual I was guilty of assault even with witnesses identifing my self defence and believe me jail really just makes the moment much worse, so packing has another risk even if you do not use it permit or not. Most of the kids who are on the new drugs you will not beat into submission if it goes to that level they are beyond pain, only the best tazers will put them down and not ever time.
avoidance is by far the best choice, when it is not possible. not sure yet and hope I never have to find out. I do not want to spend my life in prison now that I am finally starting to live.

[Jean24]

I've seen just about everything and none of it scares me more than the thought of becoming someone who is too afraid to go outside without a gun. I feel far safer avoiding dangerous situations than being some kind of martyr for the gun culture who goes out looking for trouble.

[iKate]

I've seen just about everything and none of it scares me more than the thought of becoming someone who is too afraid to go outside without a gun. I feel far safer avoiding dangerous situations than being some kind of martyr for the gun culture who goes out looking for trouble.

You have a huge misunderstanding of gun culture. We don't go "looking for trouble." Far from it. The responsible gun owner knows the consequences of pointing a gun - loaded or not - at someone. It can result in serious jail time and loss of their rights to carry or even own firearms.

I carry but I keep it concealed. There are some who carry openly to make a statement but that is direct pushback to gun control efforts. In other words, if people weren't so uptight about firearms and public carry, the open carry people would just leave well alone because they'd get no attention and get bored quickly.

Also, there's no fear. Just preparedness. A police officer doesn't carry her gun because she is scared someone will shoot her. She carries it to be prepared in case a criminal decides to try to take her life and she needs it to defend herself.

Anyway, since I keep it concealed, nobody knows, or at least doesn't tell me they know.

[Jean24]

You have a huge misunderstanding of gun culture. We don't go "looking for trouble." Far from it. The responsible gun owner knows the consequences of pointing a gun - loaded or not - at someone. It can result in serious jail time and loss of their rights to carry or even own firearms.
I carry but I keep it concealed. There are some who carry openly to make a statement but that is direct pushback to gun control efforts. In other words, if people weren't so uptight about firearms and public carry, the open carry people would just leave well alone because they'd get no attention and get bored quickly.
Also, there's no fear. Just preparedness. A police officer doesn't carry her gun because she is scared someone will shoot her. She carries it to be prepared in case a criminal decides to try to take her life and she needs it to defend herself.
Anyway, since I keep it concealed, nobody knows, or at least doesn't tell me they know.

The responsible gun owners who subscribe to gun culture have made it incredibly easy for anyone to get a firearm, and openly dare would be criminals to "just try it." That's blatantly asking for trouble. It also ensures that the would be criminal is armed with firearms, making crimes easier to commit and thus carrying becomes more necessary in the first place. If empowerment/looking for trouble isn't their thing, often times it is the fear of the uncertain that leads to it. Of course when someone is afraid they don't want to go through checks and training, they just want the firearm. And again thanks to the lax gun laws that enabled their purchase, the people that they fear are able to take advantage of this too.

The police have to go undergo countless hours of training, tests, and qualifications in order to become officers in the first place. Police officers are also charged with dealing with criminals and that is why they are armed. Joe and Jane gun owner do not necessarily receive any kind of training, nor is it their job to bring in criminals.

As for the stigma around carrying in public, there's a reason for it: You have brought a weapon capable of killing tons of people into a crowded area - like a restaurant or a mall. It's uncomfortable to have someone nearby who feels the need to bring something like that into a place that it doesn't belong.