getting hit on

[orangepeel]

I really find getting hit on annoying when I go out dressed as a woman. Since I am pre transitioning, yet I've identified as a man I find it just really annoying. Today, while at a volunteering event, this guy was hitting on me like nobody's business. He was asking me what I like to wear when I'm alone and if he could 'tickle' me (ew gross) and he even tried to tickle me a few times. 
obviously i find it annoying and somewhat embarrassing. UUUUuhgh. But the worst thing is that I am really shy so I kind of just nod along with all of this so it kind of makes the guy feel like what he's doing is okay. I know i need to step up my game but it's still really annoying to go through with that. 
/rant

[chefskenzie]

I would say that you don't like your personal space invaded, and that you aren't trying to be rude, but to step off!  I HATE to be tickled.  HATE HATE HATE

[Tessa James]

Oh that sounds very uncomfortable!  I agree that that is clearly an invasion of personal space while tickling is uninvited and aggressive touching.  Not cool and over the line.  I too have been shy in the past but unless you stop this guy now it may get real ugly next time.  Practice some one liners, move away from him abruptly or share your concern with others there maybe?

Being hit on is one thing and occasionally it makes us feel good but being touched without an invitation is wrong and likely unacceptable for any volunteer organization.  I hope there might be a volunteer coordinator you could talk to.  I am a full time volunteer myself and really value people like you willing to be out there.  No way some duffus should wreck it for you.  Your space and your right to own it.

[suzifrommd]

But the worst thing is that I am really shy so I kind of just nod along with all of this so it kind of makes the guy feel like what he's doing is okay.

Practice saying "Stop, now!" in the most assertive tone you can manage. Do it in front of a mirror if it helps, or when you're alone in the car. Do it so it comes out naturally, and you'll have it when you need it.

If someone persists in touching you after you've told them to stop, it's physical assault.

[cindianna_jones]

NO! and NO means NO! Some people take too many liberties. I don't get them.

Cindi

[kittenpower]

I really find getting hit on annoying when I go out dressed as a woman. Since I am pre transitioning, yet I've identified as a man I find it just really annoying. Today, while at a volunteering event, this guy was hitting on me like nobody's business. He was asking me what I like to wear when I'm alone and if he could 'tickle' me (ew gross) and he even tried to tickle me a few times. 
obviously i find it annoying and somewhat embarrassing. UUUUuhgh. But the worst thing is that I am really shy so I kind of just nod along with all of this so it kind of makes the guy feel like what he's doing is okay. I know i need to step up my game but it's still really annoying to go through with that. 
/rant

He sounds very creepy, you have to be stern with those types, and tell them to get lost.

[Ms Grace]

Practice saying "Stop, now!" in the most assertive tone you can manage. Do it in front of a mirror if it helps, or when you're alone in the car. Do it so it comes out naturally, and you'll have it when you need it.

If someone persists in touching you after you've told them to stop, it's physical assault.

^^This!^^

Was he one of the volunteers? If so report him to the manager/coordinator for sexual harassment.

My approach is to tell them to go away or ignore them completely. I don't care if I come off as rude, I'm under no obligation to be pleasant to creeps.

[JoanneB]

Repeat after me.... Guys are Idiots

OK. Knowing that, you can now reason out that anything a guy says to a female that not instantly responded to in the most negative manner possible (in his eyes only) WILL be taken as a sign that "You WANT him"

And that guy went well beyond being an idiot! "What sort of clothes do you like to wear when you're alone?"; "Do you like being tickled?"  Way out of bounds except for maybe 1:00 AM on a Friday night in a pub where he might have an excuse for acting like a total perv

[cindianna_jones]

Yeah, most men think with their little head first. I read somewhere that men think of sex at least twice per minute of every waking hour. When men come on thinking with their little head, those are the ones you never want to get to know in any intimate way... unless you just want a one nighter. Relationships develop over time. I realize that men have THAT feeling before they approach a woman but if they are decent guys, they'll suppress it. They will want to get to know you first. They will be decent.

Cindi

[orangepeel]

thanks for all the responses, guys. Since the thing was only a yearly event, i doubt I'll see the guy anytime soon (thankfully).
For me, the hardest part is saying no. I've bee taught that women are to be silent and that has transferred to this situation too. Hopefully with proper practice I'll overcome my fear of being rude and actually step up for myself 

[Laura_7]

I really find getting hit on annoying when I go out dressed as a woman. Since I am pre transitioning, yet I've identified as a man I find it just really annoying. Today, while at a volunteering event, this guy was hitting on me like nobody's business. He was asking me what I like to wear when I'm alone and if he could 'tickle' me (ew gross) and he even tried to tickle me a few times. 
obviously i find it annoying and somewhat embarrassing. UUUUuhgh. But the worst thing is that I am really shy so I kind of just nod along with all of this so it kind of makes the guy feel like what he's doing is okay. I know i need to step up my game but it's still really annoying to go through with that. 
/rant

Well I'd say laugh it off... no use to brood over it too much...

I'd say something along the lines he might be a nice guy... but he is not my type... and he should save his energies for another person

It might also be possible to say he is coming over too strong... or that you prefer a nice atmosphere, so you can relax... too much hype
its perfectly ok to talk about what you want, and its well possible to state it, without getting offensive.    

It might be a good idea to get into contact with your emotions... which you can do already, obviously... and take it one step further and simply talk about it...
its perfectly ok, and it makes people much more lively...
and, well,  it does not pent up emotions...
not getting excited but simply talking about it...

And, well, in this case there also might be the indirect approach... asking others to tell him he is coming over too strong... to back off a bit...
if you talk with others its also well possible your not the only one who finds it annoying.

[Jayvin]

Geez, that sounds super uncomfortable. I used to have that same problem as well, but just started to dress in baggier clothing and other more "androgynous" styles, and the flirting mostly stopped.

Generally you can look at your phone and go "Crap, I got to go" and shuffle off without them questioning it much. If they question anything, just say "If I don't hurry i'll miss it, sorry!" and run off like you need to catch a bus, ahah.