Wishes of luck and support needed

[Dex]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with such a difficult situation, but good job for standing up for yourself. She may not change but that is a huge and important step for you to take control of the situation and your sanity. We don't know each other, but I'm proud of you!

[Amadeus]

I've never stood up to my mother and today I somehow had to strength to not only do that, but to walk away from her too.

She was causing a scene and saying that she wanted her little girl back. And I told her she'd never had a little girl. She could choose between two sons or one son. As if she chooses the latter, she won't hear from me again. She slapped me for my "blatant disrespect" and I walked away.

I think the gods were listening as I was able to turn around and simply step onto a train as soon as the doors were closing.

I am...so proud.  So very proud.  And the dramatic 'turn-and-go'...perfect.  That is just absolutely perfect.  I'm raising my glass to you right now.  It's only water, but the sentiment is there.

Welcome to a new chapter in your life, my friend.

[Alexthecat]

It's good you walked away. If you would of hit back she could of really messed you up. You could probably get her on assault or restraining order if it came down to it.

[Amadeus]

Alex has two good points here.  By walking away, you proved to be the bigger person, definitely more mature.  And by striking you, that's technically assault and you could use that to your advantage in the future if she keeps pushing you.

However, one can also hope that she grows up and learns to respect you and your choices.

[Magpie-Mind]

I suppose I am used to her striking me so it never really registered. I grew up in a family that uses physical punishment, so I am used to being hit when I do/say something she doesn't like. Which was pretty often tbh.

It never really occurred to me that it was assault and I could get a restraining order, because... Well, because she's my mum. It sounds ridiculous when I say it, but it's the best way I have of describing it.

[Athena]

Once again hugs. You should be proud of how you handled the situation, never let your mother bring you down again.

[TayBay]

(I hope you don't mind me barging in, just found this thread and had to reply...)

Oh my god yes. Standing up to her, turning around, and whisking off in a perfectly timed train...I'm sure there's a lot more to your story I don't know about, but I get the feeling that was a long time coming. Good on you man.

Plus spending a day at the British Museum sounds awesome. Her inability to appreciate that says a lot about her maturity...

[Amadeus]

I suppose I am used to her striking me so it never really registered. I grew up in a family that uses physical punishment, so I am used to being hit when I do/say something she doesn't like. Which was pretty often tbh.

It never really occurred to me that it was assault and I could get a restraining order, because... Well, because she's my mum. It sounds ridiculous when I say it, but it's the best way I have of describing it.

I can appreciate your hesitance.  After growing up with so much abuse from my mother and brother, I grew up thinking it was normal.  She also plays the martyr and/or victim really well.  Nice little emotional manipulation, and I'm sick of it.  It sounds like you've reached your breaking point just like I have.  At the end of the day, you must take care of yourself first.  Do what is best for M->-bleeped-<-ie.  M->-bleeped-<-ie deserves to be happy and to surround himself with people who are loving and supportive.  So here's a Bro Hug from Atlanta, because I think you're pretty damn cool and I'm behind you.

[Magpie-Mind]

Today has been the first day this week without the threat of my mother hanging over me.

I changed my bedsheets. Cleaned my entire room. Had a really really long shower. Made pizza dough for this evening. Went out for a walk and bought myself a huge peppermint mocha; which I then idly sipped whilst walking along the Thames.

There was no one there to tell me I'm fat or ugly or an embarrassment. No one to tell me how shameful I am and that no one will ever love me. I didn't feel tense or fearful. I wasn't constantly looking over my shoulder to see if she was there.

I'm now in my nice clean room in comfy PJ's. I whipped up a quick bread dough and that is now baking in the oven and I have been playing with a new idea for a tea blend. So my flat smells like fresh bread and tea.

I think that the rest of the day will be spent reading comics and looking into how one would go about opening an LGBTQ tea room. Yes. I think that will be a good way to spend the rest of the day.

[Julia-Madrid]

The relief must be palpable!  A shame that you had to endure it.

Yes, a flat filled with the smell of baking bread and tea is a wonderful thing.  Enjoy!

xxx
J

[MacG]

Sounds perfect.

[Amadeus]

Feels damn good, doesn't it?

[Orangaline]

I am going to try and keep this as short as possible and it will hopefully be trigger free. I shall edit as I go along to try and make sure of this.

My mother is visiting tomorrow and she will be staying the whole week. Thankfully she won't be staying with me as my living quarters are too small. But she has chosen a B&B across the road and specifically asked for a room where the window faces the uni (my campus is very picturesque and the University very old and used in a lot of Hollywood films; so this is not a strange request.) She can see my Halls of Residence from her window. So she can see if I'm actually going to Uni or just trying to avoid her whilst she's here.

As for why I might avoid her; to put it as carefully as I can, my mother has always been abusive. And has become more so since I came out. She has demanded that I take her for dinner so we can talk about my transition. She wants me to "stay the way God made you." She refuses to use my name and my pronouns and when she's not using my birth name, she will liberally use words such as daughter and little girl.

I am a thirty year old man, I shouldn't be so terrified of her, but I am. I just want to get it all over and done with.

I am a lot younger than you and still dependent on my family,


but i know exactly how it feels to be petrified from the people who were supposed to care for you.


You have my best wishes, unfortunatley, i cannot read the whole thread so as not to trigger myself too much, i hope you can understand.