Starting HRT

Smashgirl · March 13, 2015, 01:11:15 PM

Okay. Where to begin. I am new but this is not a introduction. I recently just talked to a therapist about getting my HRT letter. She says. "I dont think you are ready to transition as a woman, so I cant give you your letter." What does that even mean? She says I got a low score on her sheet. One of the things was are you okay with you biological gender role you were given at birth. She means that everyone said I was a boy so I have to be okay with me being a boy. Or something like that. Then said I have alot of shame with being transgender and that I have to live as a woman before I can start HRT.

Just to clarify. I am a woman. Regardless if I fit into social norms or not. But I have to by her logic look like I am trying to live as a woman. I told her that being girly. Just isnt me. Alot of woman I kno in person dress like guys cause its comfortable. My aunt and my moms friend and my sisters sister. All born women. So I am like what do I go to do? She couldnt really answer. I said do I got to walk around with a skirt out side before you can let me be on HRT? Cause I will. I dont own a skirt but ill buy one. If I have to jump through hoops to get HRT I will. But she claims I still am not ready. Ugh. I cant take it. I waited 10 years to get on hrt. Thats when I decided I was gonna transition and I have been trying to get on it since. I ddnt kno how to do it for many years. Thought I needed a job. before. I found this grp. They are called. BHC Assessment & Consulting.

All I kno is she wants me to take like months to get on hrt. I am ready now. I see myself as a woman even if the whole world says I am not. What more do you want? I feel like she wants me to wear skirts and pretty dresses and make up and she even sounded confused when I said I dont care about letting the world kno I am trans or a woman or letting em see me. She is like then why do you want HRT or the surgery? I am like. To make myself comfortable? For myself? duh. She was like. Sorry you are out of time. Let me see what I can do. She is gonna make a "list" of things I need to have done before I can get a letter. Ugh. Why do I got to please your standards of living before I can make me happy? Like clearly I am uncomfortable as a man. CLEARLY I dont like it. But she is like. I have to be okay with myself as a man. What? Please someone help me. Just talk to me. Maybe explain how to do this. I am so lost and alone right now....

Devlyn · March 13, 2015, 01:16:59 PM

Big hug! Where are you? Maybe someone can recommend an informed consent clinic.

Hugs, Devlyn

Cindy · March 13, 2015, 01:37:04 PM

Time she read the SOC7

www.wpath.org

Smashgirl · March 13, 2015, 02:16:17 PM

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 13, 2015, 01:16:59 PM
Big hug! Where are you? Maybe someone can recommend an informed consent clinic.

Hugs, Devlyn

HUGS!!! Thank you <3 i live in florida, Fort walton beach.

Quote from: Cindy on March 13, 2015, 01:37:04 PM
Time she read the SOC7

www.wpath.org

What is that?

Smashgirl · March 13, 2015, 02:22:20 PM

Wow. ok, didnt kno bout tht thanks! I Wonder if she knows anything bout tht? Thanks again for tht post. *reading it now*

Smashgirl · March 13, 2015, 06:20:07 PM

So just to ask. Am I supposed to be living as a woman full time before I can get a letter for HRT? Cause my situation. I cant come out without fear of being homeless. Plus I dont feel comfortable with my body to start dressing up in clothes I DO want to wear. I was hoping that after I was on Hormones for awhile and after my body started to show signs. Id slowly start living as a woman in the public's eyes. I really dont understand. I know alot of women that dress pretty guyish. No make up or feminine clothes at all. Are they not women? I just want to easy into it. But from what she says I got to put myself out there. Like living like a guy for 26 years of my life never happened. I more then want to just do that. But I dont have the confidence to do that yet. Was hoping that Hormones would help with the Confidence, even just a lil.

Robyn37 · March 13, 2015, 06:44:01 PM

Ask your therapist if they are familiar with the standards of care. There are no requirements to live full time prior to starting HRT, or of having even gone out crossdressed at all. If they are not familiar with them, you may want to find a new therapist who is more familiar with the hormonal changes and transition process. You should not have to do anything you are uncomfortable with. As for HRT, some doctors will prescribe with informed consent and not require a therapist letter. Good luck!

Rachel · March 13, 2015, 08:39:39 PM

Hi Smashgirl,

I agree, find an informed consent clinic for HRT. At group there are a few girls that do not dress their correct gender. It is not held against them and in fact the progress some girls (and guys) make at group is awesome. It is about finding comfort in who you are and being in a safe place. Expressing is something that is natural when you are in a safe place.

I had gone to an informed consent LGBT clinic and was referred to a therapist. After 4 months my therapist and I agreed I could handle HRT. I had issues that had to be addressed and my therapist and I worked on the issues prior to HRT.

Smashgirl · March 13, 2015, 10:26:00 PM

Ok ok. Thanks. I thought I was crazy cause I was certain that you didnt need to do those things. It makes me feel easy that other trans sisters and brothers out there are making sure better guidelines are met for issues like transgender. Its a serious issue. But I live in Florida, Fort walton. No car. Soon to move. Where can I go? This therapist charges 15 bucks a visit cause of a spirit group thing and they make exceptions if you are low income. Which I am. And I can do it over skype cause I cant go in person. So, is there other grps that do the same?

Rachel · March 14, 2015, 02:03:00 PM

You may want to google "Southern Trans* Resource Guide". There are several pages of resources in Florida. Perhaps one of them can help.

chefskenzie · March 14, 2015, 02:11:34 PM

I would also suggest waiting to see what your therapists requirements are for you. It could be very small and easily fixed things. Or it could be that she is looking out for your well being, but hasn't relayed that very well.

If you want you could share her list with us, and I am sure when can help you make sense of it. And advise to find another therapist if need be.

as mentioned above wpath.org is the best thing for you to be familiar with, and if need be, share with her.

AnonyMs · March 14, 2015, 05:54:56 PM

Also worth reading is the DSM-5, by the American Psychiatric Association as it has a huge influence on diagnosis, and I believe insurance in the USA. Its what they are likely judging you against.

Try googling these search terms from the DSM-5

"a marked incongruence between" "gender dysphoria"

There's also this

http://crossdreamers.blogspot.no/2014/05/the-dsm-5-on-gender-dysphoria.html

Lin Fraser has some interesting papers. Try googling this

pdf site:linfraser.com

I'm a believer in the know thy enemy approach, although don't take that too literally as the good ones can really help if you need it.

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Starting HRT