(I am sorry in advance if this is not the appropriate thread but I didn't find one that fit better. Believe me I wish there was a journal section I could find because this feels embarrassingly like I am imposing)
Normally not one to do this but one turns to kindred spirits when they need support, especially when your family is lacking in it.
I recently found out that I am homeless. After struggling to make ends meet by ourselves, my wife and I were offered financial help and a place to stay rent free by my mother and stepfather. We were not in a position to refuse, so we moved across Canada and moved into a relatively nice town house. We had the basement but we didn't care, we had a roof over our heads, and we had food and I was with family.
We should have noticed something when fights started between my mom and step-dad. Stupid things, stuff about money we were never told we were tight on. We were expected to cook and clean, maintain the household while my mom and step-dad were out days at a time on their trucking job. We thought things were OK, but after wrappers left here, dishes left on TOP of the clearly empty dishwasher there, even food containers left fully open to spoil for a day or more, we started to feel disrespected.
Soon enough I had found out, after a very tense drive to clean out a storage unit with my stepdad, that he had views about women so archaically misoginistic that it would give the cast of Mad Men pause. I wanted to cry and scream at him but I could not without saying why. Weeks later I came out to all family present. Mom seemed to take it ok, she accepts but she really doesn't understand. She told my stepdad when she went out afterwards and that was a frightening tense moment. Luckily he had said he didn't care, he din't have any problem. What had started as "I would feel more comfortable if you did transition out on your own and if you needed to come back after then it's fine", ended up being a nice way of "as long as you live under my roof you are NOT going to look/act like/BE a woman.
His tendencies were all stemmed from his perceived rights as the "breadwinner", shoes left where he wants, food arranged as he wants, will not put the seat down, and will not clean after himself. We had to pick the things he purposefully crumbled and dropped, we had to put lids on jars and containers so food wouldn't spoil, we had to place the plates right in the dishwasher.
We had to give full "hired-maid service" cleanings near every day, and be happy about it. Cleaning and maintaining the household and cooking was not the problem, the problem came when we called them on their inconsiderate behaviour. They were appalled at our "disrespect" and blamed us for financial troubles that THEY got themselves into, changing the promise of them helping into being indentured servants. Now on top of shutting our mouths and doing as we are told in the face of inconsideration, we ALSO had to provide $800 for them.
We tried very hard to find work, my wife had sent over 300+ resumes had 6 interviews and had to travel for 5 hours for one of them and none panned out. She had a job prior to this with my mom but drama that mom could not handle made her quit and by proxy that drama spilled onto my wife and she had to quit. Now my mom trucks with my step-dad and is making good dime, but we without income were expected to work AND pay, thus keeping us in a cycle of never being able to catch up to debts and get on our feet.
Trying hard to find jobs, even after we were told we had to move to a smaller place, we looked for places with great amenities and good space for my wife, me, mom, my brother and my step-dad. That was shot all to hell when we were called for a "talk".
Seems they had already decided they were going to move somewhere regardless of the searches we did for them, even with them working 2 trucker incomes, and us giving them the 800 for "rent & expenses" in a cheaper place, it was never going to be enough for them. "Come April we are going to move to a new place...the THREE of us.", that is what coldly came out of my step-dad's mouth, referring to him, mom and my younger brother. Reasons were stated, plans were "suggested" my brother just cried and begged us not to go, somehow feeling like HE did something wrong. After spending so much time, helping him coping with coming out as trans after he saw he was not alone in the family, after helping him with fears of college and of what to do with his life, we re-bonded and that was the major best thing to come out of all of this. Seeing his tears was heart-wrenching.
We were offered bus tickets to anywhere we wanted, only place we could go was back to my in-law's house, where he had graciously offered us a roof over our head for a short time. But we still have to deal with being broke-ass, homeless and jobless when we get there.
Why do I post this novel for you good folks? So you would know what I am going through, the deep crap-hole I am in and how much any help would mean the world to us. I am not asking for straight up charity, it hurts to have to beg. I am offering whatever skills I have as a graphic artist to create logos, portraits or design concepts for you or someone you may know.
If anyone can assist us please pm me.
I don't expect anyone to go out of their way for us, but you have been very kind and accepting people and I hope that I can have SOME sort of aid in getting my life back together so I can pay it forward and honour your generosity.
Thank you so very much for reading this far & I hope your days are blessed and fruitful.
Sincerely,
Rielle
<post modified by Cindy>
