What stops you passing?

[Pandora]

Okay, for those who worry about passing this is a bit like the "If I had one wish" thread, but without the wish. Pick the option that you think is giving you the most difficulty or will sometimes trip you up. And, before you ask, NO you can't select them all or more than one because it screws up the stats if different people have different numbers of votes.

Poll categories apply to both MTF and FTM. So "Facial hair" can mean beard growth or lack of whereas "Breasts" can mean too little or too much.

As usual my apologies if this poll has appeared before but I'm too lazy to check back.
Also, sorry if I have offended anyone for using the term "passing", I know it can irritate some people and is not very PC.

Personally I would select options 1-7, but as I can only select one I'll pick Body Shape Type as it's so damn hard to change / disguise.
Or maybe I should have picked Face... sigh.

And yes, I now realise I should have put in options for Confidence and Mannerisms. Just lets assume you've either got them or don't realise you haven't. And, in case you wondered, the poll is limited to passing in public which is why I have omitted (forgotten) other options.

[suzifrommd]

When I go to LGBT spaces, people are on the lookout for tall gawky women. If people aren't thinking about trans, then I pass OK, but there are too many signs - high forehead, height, broad shoulders over narrow hips, and a general lack of grace - for me to pass when people are thinking I might be trans.

This post sums it up for me.

[FTMax]

I typically don't have any difficulty passing, but I think it's a combination of height and hands/feet size that gives me away. I feel much more comfortable and confident wearing boots or other shoes that are naturally larger by default, and walking with my hands in my pockets.

[marsh monster]

For me, its my face and my voice.

[Hikari]

I haven't really expierenced any problems passing, I have all sorts of things that I feel should be sending off red flags, but I guess they don't.

[Martine A.]

It is not like I fail to pass 100% of the time, but when I do, I blame the facial hair.

Other things I can work on myself or have been given them on birth. That is as far as a superficial contact goes!
This week I had my first face laser treatment, and I had it rough. I've got burns to deal with at the brink of summer.

Face - otherwise can pass without make up.
Head hair - an easy choice, I have none; on one end I am confined to wigs, on the other I can choose hair I am comfortable with
Breasts - good stuffed bras work for now; I hope of course to grow my own when I start with hrt
Height - I am 6' tall but this is the Netherlads; people are tall here. Many cis women are taller than I. Let alone men!!!
Body Shape Type - Nay, it is good enough
Voice - Work in progress, I don't have to speak with everyone now do I

[Ms Grace]

On the few occasions where I appear not to have passed it would probably be my height (6'3") mainly for drawing attention to me in the first place.

[Marly]

hair is definitely my dilemma. I'm a chromedome and definitely need good wigs. (or a cute turban or two)
I suppose I pass otherwise if I dress carefully and have enough makeup on. Fingers crossed that HRT will improve all this

[Eva Marie]

When I get clocked I think its most likely caused by my voice. When i'm out and about I draw no attention to myself whatsoever; if someone happens to zero in on me I believe they start thinking that there is something amiss and then they begin to pick me apart. If say something and accidentally let my voice drop that confirms it to them. I'm told by my friends that my natural voice is somewhere between male and female but apparently it's male enough that a slip up will out me.

[Sydney_NYC]

On the few occasions where I appear not to have passed it would probably be my height (6'3") mainly for drawing attention to me in the first place.

I don't think your height is making you not pass, but it does draw attention to you.  I'm 6'7" with long red hair and pass all the time. Everywhere I go I'm remembered being a tall woman with red hair. Today I went into Globe Shoes and the salesman remembered me from last December I was there. He told be today there is another woman about my height that shops there and we have the same shoe size (13W).

I once had a women in the bathroom while washing my hands looking at my neck looking for an Adam's apple (fortunately I don't have one that shows). I overheard her talking to another woman about me when my wife and I caught up to her in the mall. (She said to her friend: "I just saw the tallest woman I've ever seen and know she wasn't a guy since she didn't have an Adam's apple.) So yes height will put you under a magnifying glass, but it will not clock you alone.

[Martine A.]

I once had a women in the bathroom while washing my hands looking at my neck looking for an Adam's apple

Really inconvenient how people look for a reason to segregate.

One trick that might work in such situations is to just position the adam's apple as if you were going to talk /in female voice/. For me, that pulls it up enough to conceal.

[Sydney_NYC]

Really inconvenient how people look for a reason to segregate.

One trick that might work in such situations is to just position the adam's apple as if you were going to talk /in female voice/. For me, that pulls it up enough to conceal.

Fortunately for me, Sandra Bullock has a bigger Adam's Apple than I do.



But yes, talking in a female voice does pull it up and blocks vibrations from going into the chest to keep a head voice that is feminine. My voice is pretty good as well. I even passed the other day with my voice with a blind couple. (One was completely blind and his wife can only see shapes, but she can't see faces.)

[synesthetic]

Body shape and height are my two main issues. Curvy and short - a trans guy's worst nightmare

[Kaydee]

I put voice as I transitioned a year ahead of schedule and have just started to work on the voice - it is not terrible, but a problem.  I also don't pass if I dress like a normal woman on her day off - I always need to make an effort and show enough gender markers (boobs help) to overcome my 6 foot height and straigh body type.  But when I am careful and I don't speak much I pass almost 100% of the time.

[Takoto]

For me, I think it's my chest size (I'm FtM, E/F-cup depending on shop), as the main reason. I bind safely, but I can never get it flat enough to look how I want it too. I wear lose shirts, which helps a little, but people do still often notice.

I also... have a very soft, child-like face, which doesn't help. If I'm out with my Mum, I often get mistaken for a young teenager (I'm 200.

[ainsley]

Voice is the first killer for me.
I think my face gets clocked some of the time.
I have broad shoulders, and I think they contribute to the clocking.  My wife says no, and that she would kill for them.  Funny, I would kill for her hourglass, but w/e....

[Martine A.]

I have broad shoulders, and I think they contribute to the clocking.

A number of cis women I know do hawe wide shoulders. It happens. Also is more obvious on a skinny person.

Wide shoulders on their own are not a prob imo.

[Sapphire87]

As far as I know I've never been clocked. Even neighbors didn't realize who I was when they saw me after I started. I was only ever clocked twice, Once right when i first started transitioning and was purchasing new work clothes. The employee was very polite though and never actually said anything to me and now we're actually friends. And the second time was by a fellow transwoman who came in to my work to open up a bank account but it took her a few minutes of noticing similarities between us before she realized.

[CaseyN]

I've got really wide shoulders and no hips and a tiny rear, I can grow a beard in a day, my voice is deep, my jaw is wide, and my nose is the typical roman profile- which is a dead give away.

I can shave and use make up to hide the stubble (but only for so long), pad my rear and hips, use a wig to hide part of my face, and just not talk- and even then, still not pass.

[Mariah]

On the occasion that I do get clocked it's generally the voice which is why most misgendering results from people who knew me prior to transition.
Mariah