How do I truly come out in college? :) (both sexually and gender)

[Haradonia]

Hello!

Im 18 mtf, and recently transitioning. Just started transitioning(hormones and clothes)  4 months ago.

Im just curious as how do I possibly transition to my friends and professors and general people in college?? I go to a mostly conservative college- Catholic Denomination, but overall most people are NOT completely homophobic or anything like that. I have although no idea about being open to transgender. Of course I feel better now that there are certain transgender female people shown in the media and online especially now, so i do feel like i would be more accepted but I'm not sure.

Also, I HATE the idea of coming out, because I just don't want to make it a big deal, cause it shouldn't be..
I just want to say, Im female, and little questions follow afterwards initially telling them. I just hate making a big deal out of things.

I first want to start telling my friends. They know I'm feminine (not flamboyant though), my voice is feminine and i feel can easily pass as a girl voice wise and looks, and i do wear more girlier clothes than most guys prior to transition, but I feel like they just think Im gay and not transgender.

Also, I told my friends I'm asexual, which is another thing Im going to have to tell them more about my sexuality. I feel like i am partly asexual for I don't truly care for sex, but would do it to make my partner happy, and don't particularly mind it, but at the same time wouldn't search for sex or need it. And I like to be romantic and intimate with a guy. But since I feel like a girl I don't view myself as gay but straight with a low sex drive or asexual in some ways. i don't really know how to explain my sexuality, so any help would be appreciated. 

*So essentially I need to tell my friends that I have a boyfriend who's supporting me through transition, my sexuality, and my gender!!

I now only own girl clothing, so they will know from that initial glance. (but don't own nor want any dresses or anything like that, so not ostentatiously girly)
I just want to tell everyone without making a big deal.

********Im seeing a friend for one night overseas on vacation, because our vacation plans match so I plan on telling her. How do I do so??
********Im also seeing another friend in California a week after telling my other friend, so i would need to tell her as well.

Maybe should I just text everyone individually or in a group and tell them? I have alot of friends (10-15), who Im sort of close to.
I feel like it would be easier to just text everyone, because its casual, but maybe thats the wrong thing to do. Also my friends are somewhat conservative but still open i think so I have no idea how they will feel?

Sorry this turned into more of a venting...
Any honest thoughtful answers would be appreciative!

[Haradonia]

Also, btw Im a rising sophomore in college, and here are some photos of me so you can essentially visualize me.

http://www.realself.com/question/fort-washington-md-transgender-male-female-18-wondering-boyish-feminine?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=user.author.question

[Tessa James]

Hey Haradonia,

You are in an enviable situation really.  Young, passable, smart and supported by a boyfriend seems like a pretty good space.  This is your journey and we get that coming out about your transition can be tricky.  It is rather salacious news and can sadly be treated as the most juicy gossip around. 

Many colleges have a LGBT club or resources but your private religiously based place could be less accepting?  Do you know of any non discrimination policies or out faculty members you could speak with?  Any US college that accepts federal funds is required to abide by laws that prohibit sex discrimination but we all know that does not change hearts and minds.

I recommend speaking with your professors and administration ahead of time so that they might be aware of your transition, preferred pronouns and the need to have a class atmosphere of tolerance at least.  You are the only one able to share your true story and get the narrative out accurately.  I don't think you owe anyone the details of your transition and sexual orientation however and some of that can just be food for the foolish.

One to one is so very good for honest sharing and you may find that being vulnerable about such an important personal truth will encourage an even greater depth to your relationships.  You could start by simply letting a friend know you have something important to share.  Building a circle of support around you and finding out who your true friends are is a net benefit for you.  Your friends may surprise you by already suspecting something is up with you or by considering it no big deal.  Good for you for being open to how others may feel.

[CarlyMcx]

You've been getting good advice here.  Those who have the best support around them transition best.  So always keep your support structures in mind.  You need to take a two pronged approach here:  1)  Social; and 2) Administrative.

The social part is the easier part.  Start with your closest friends, and work your way outward.  Get the important ones alone, over coffee, and do the old, "There's something I wanted to talk to you about."  Once you have a tight circle of close friends who know, then you can start making more feminine adjustments to your presentation because you will always be in your comfort zone.

The second part, Administrative, is important as well.  Sooner or later you are going to be feminine enough to need to use the girls' restrooms, and in order to do this without hassle, the school administration needs to know who you are.  Start by going online and seeing if the school has an official policy toward transgender students.  If it does, then follow it, if not, then schedule a meeting with the dean of students or someone in a similar position, and have a conversation.