So what really is "just a crossdresser"?

[ImagineKate]

You mean like: I did some crossdressing as a kid that led to a bad case of transvestism for which my doctor prescribed hrt...
Wait... isn't ->-bleeped-<- just Latin for cross dresser?

No. Nothing "leads to" anything.

This is the primary difference with transsexuals vs ->-bleeped-<-s (cross dressers).

Transsexuals dress because we want to be aligned with the gender not assigned to us at birth. Dressing doesn't cause us to transition. It may make us realize that we need to transition, but it doesn't cause anything. It simply reveals what was there already.

Understand that for transsexuals dressing is just one aspect. Eventually I hope to reach the point where I am viewed as female no matter what I wear. If you look at some of the posts by MTFs here we are often overjoyed when someone genders us female when we're dressed in male clothing. Male fail and I've experienced it a couple of times and I was extremely happy when it happened.

[femmebutt]

Sorry if I was misleading, I was just being silly. Jokes!  But I still maintain that a good fitting pair of heels is a gateway drug that leads to harder stuff like Spironolactone. 

Seriously tho, and back to the original post, I think it's a girl inside us that is reaching out for that first pair of stockings. The focus on clothing makes sense to me - what else is most readily available that can have as immediate a transformative impact?  I'm sure some people just like the feel of silky  panties on their body - but they could just as easily reach for a silk scarf or pajamas, etc. And fetishizing the clothes certainly does not necessitate wearing them!  I think (as the OP and) many of us have come to realize that the motivation for dressing is gender related. Dislodging a few repressed blockages and relaxing a too rigid conception of gender roles and/or self image is all that separates the "boys from the gurls."  And yes, sometimes that takes 2 years as the saying goes. In my case and sadly it took a lot longer...

[VeronicaLynn]

Maab crossdressers don't identify as female. they put on female clothes and what not for fun not to express themselves in a way that matches their gender identity.

It is really this concept and type of crossdresser I don't really understand. I do agree that is fun though...

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think now that I am not entirely genderfluid mentally, though I am situationally fluid, by necessity, and there's also some situations that make me feel like a guy. Mentally, I have always wished I was a girl. If some genie were to give me just one wish, that has always been the one. On the fence still on whether I am going to transition medically, but I'm not going to stop wearing women's clothes, ever. Even though it might limit my choices, I also am not willing to hide who I am from the women I date anymore. Everything seems so clear right now. May it please stay that way.

[maybecaroline]

I think we often start off as "just a crossdresser" - particularly as children. Its the easiest way of coping with gender identity issues and certainly gave me feeling of well-being. For some of us a light bulb then comes on and we realise there is more to it. Dressing as a woman is no longer a transitory moment of pleasure but becomes the new normal. It's what we should be wearing because we are women.

As I embark on my journey wearing my male clothes has become cross-dressing. The relief at throwing away all my male underwear was palpable.

[ImagineKate]

Sorry if I was misleading, I was just being silly. Jokes!  But I still maintain that a good fitting pair of heels is a gateway drug that leads to harder stuff like Spironolactone. 

Seriously tho, and back to the original post, I think it's a girl inside us that is reaching out for that first pair of stockings. The focus on clothing makes sense to me - what else is most really available that can have as immediate a transformative impact?  I'm sure some people just like the feel of silky  panties on their body - but they could just as easily reach for a silk scarf or pajamas, etc. And fetishizing the clothes certainly does not necessitate wearing them!  I think (as the OP and) many of us have come to realize that the motivation for dressing is gender related. Dislodging a few repressed blockages and relaxing a too rigid conception of gender roles and/or self image is all that separates the "boys from the gurls."  And yes, sometimes that takes 2 years as the saying goes. In my case and sadly it took a lot longer...

Yup.

Truthfully I do believe a lot of CDs are actually transsexuals. But I think most are not. People like drag queens do it for show, as a form of artistic expression it seems. Not transsexuals. We do it because that is our identity. For example I wear pretty normal clothes. Mostly jeans, t shirt and a sweater. Occasionally I will wear a dress. Always female underwear but pretty drab cotton ones most times. It's my identity, not a show for anyone.

But as I said its a spectrum. People do it for different reasons. Some do it for themselves, they may like the look, the attention or simply like the feel.

It's all good.

[Cherry pointe]

For me, I identify as a crossdresser, just a crossdresser. On occasion, and in private, I like to dress in women's clothing. I dress in SECRET, I have one friend who knows in real life, and numerous friends who know in Second Life.

IT is a sexual fetish, that is, I do it because I enjoy it and because I will masturbate while dressed as a woman. I feel a little shame about this, but, 20 years later I can deal with it.

I am only interested in passing as a woman in so far as I'd like to dress correctly and appropriately for my age and size; which is mature and 6-2 @ 190 lbs ( a bit big for a girl ). I am not interested in dressing full time any more than I am interested in taking-on any of the specific clothing from my hobbies on a full time basis. (Garter and suspenders for hockey, spandex shorts for cycling, motor cycle boots as well?)

The private and secret part of this hobby is part of what attracts me to it, I really don't want to discuss it with most people on a regular or irregular basis.

Does that help? It helps me... I confess that I do like the online crossdressing community.. thanks for being cool.

[Lyric]

It's unfortunate that people experience shame about such things. I've often thought it odd that the "LGBT" groups are considered together, when the groupings should be a bit different. Transgender describes a person's identity, but does not necessarily describe a condition of sexual desire. "Lesbian", "Gay" and "Bi" all describe a condition of sexual desire. Therefore, I would say that a person like you, Cherry, is more rightly grouped with those than transsexuals. Sexual crossdressers have oddly lacked this kind of respect. Their sexuality is just as valid as any other.

[VeronicaLynn]

I am a very sexual person, I actually like that about me, and that's a big part of why I'm on the fence on transitioning medically. I'm not really ashamed at this point, though I'm very aware that a lot of people look down upon me for being something other than a masculine guy. I am who I am and I don't like faking being a masculine man, and I'm not even very good at it. I don't want my crossdressing to be some secret I keep. I want to dress and act feminine all the time, and I don't see why I should have to change my body to do so.