Some twenty years ago I was in a situation that sounds very much like the one you are currently in. So I understand, it is a very tough place to be in. I had been on estrogens and anti-androgens for two years, believed I had achieved very little by way changes to appearance, breast growth, etc and that I was not passable. I had told many people and the news had proliferated along the grapevine so that many others knew. I believed that I wasn't passable when in fact, even presenting as male, I was starting to confuse people. Regardless, the process wasn't working for me for a lot of reasons - I didn't have the right kind of professional support, I thought I had realistic expectations and that they weren't being met anyway, I probably wasn't on the right kind/combination of HRT and I was unwilling to accept myself as trans or open up about it to my shrink. So I just decided to stop. If you do choose to do this please do it with proper medical supervision, don't do it cold turkey - I did this and paid the consequences physically and emotionally for about a month. I picked up my life in guy mode and tried to pretend that obviously I had been wrong about being trans and that if I just got back to "being a guy" then everything would be alright. It worked for a while but I knew I still wanted to live my life as a woman and started to sink, spiral, into depression. Here I am, twenty years later, and I tried it again and succeeded with transition this time. Basically we do this when we are ready for it. If you don't feel it is working for you, if you feel there is another way you can be at peace with your gender issues then please pursue them. Have you spoken to your therapist and your endocrinologist about your concerns and how you might be able to work around these issues? If you still feel, regardless of what you believe about progress on your current journey, that you want to live your life as a woman I strongly recommend you at least give that a go before you call a halt to your transition.
