Today I had my third endo appointment. I've been going once every three months. After the nurse took my vitals I sat in the room until the resident who works with my endo came in. My endo works out of a teaching hospital. He's the chief of endocrinology and I'm lucky to get his attention. I also quite like the resident. When she came in she asked if I was willing to let an intern and a medical student come in. Of course I said yes. When they were all in I was examined. The three of them got into a discussion of my tanner stage. We discussed my case and when we finished the student told me I was quite knowledgeable and she appreciated the talk. I told her about Susan's in case she had more questions. I discussed the issues Sweetie is having and asked if I'd like them to speak with her. I agreed that it might help. The resident went out to talk with my endo and soon they all trooped back in. My endo examined my breasts and pronounced them stage 4. Then they brought Sweetie in.
My endo tried to explain my condition to her, but made no headway. He told her he'd treated 300 transexuals and only two had regrets and one of those had them for religious reasons. Sweetie cried the whole time and half way home. I think deep down she knows I'm trans but refuses to believe it and he got to watch her come up with excuses why a marriage counselor wasn't possible.
I asked if it would be healthy to reduce my estradiol or eliminate it completely for a while keeping my spirolactone. He said that was safe for me to do but I would have hot flashes if I eliminated E. I offered to do this.
On the way home Sweetie said not to bother as the only thing that would make things better would be if I'm wrong about being trans and she doesn't see that happening. She says I'm her best friend and always will be but she can't be married to me. No more than I expected, frankly, but I know her and I don't see us remaining close if we separate.
Things are more back to normal now that we're home.
