Fully Transitioned Living part time as a female.

[Kiria1988]

  My present life makes it impossible to live full time in my prefered gender. The Doctor's office I go to I present male. When out and about I present male. When with my friends whom are accepting of me I be me. The Doctor in private knows my T status and prescribes my hrt. The Doctor recommeded I gone on anti-androgens as My blood test showed my T level a little too high even though I had full SRS. I declined because I told him I will never be able to go full time as a woman because I pass sometimes. The young cis males are the ones that really make a scene with screaming and harrassment. I get stared down by cis women in the summer months when I used to go full time with summer wear and was told the way I dress is inappropriate. I'm now adjusting and accepting my part time womanhood.

[Eveline]

Kiria, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling you can't go full time. It must be very frustrating.

Is there something specific about your presentation that you think may be a problem? Or are you still trying to figure out what is preventing you from being accepted?

[Kiria1988]

The only thing I can think of is people pick upon my insecurity and unacceptance of myself. If I did
go on the anti-androgen it would slightly feminize me even more ans with spring coming I have season affective disorder in reverse which adds to my problem. I am planning on moving to another state and go full time from there and see if that can be accomplished. I am willing to do that. Social Security refuses to change my gender marker even though I had SRS.

[Eveline]

The only thing I can think of is people pick upon my insecurity and unacceptance of myself.

You've probably seen this in a lot of other threads, but self-confidence is a huge factor in being accepted. Something as simple as smiling really changes how people perceive you, and when you are nervous and down on yourself your face reflects it.

Even if you move, it sounds like working on your self-confidence and self-acceptance will be really important.

Regarding Social Security, it sounds like they sometimes have to be pushed a bit. I had no trouble, but another Florida girl had to contact the regional office to get her gender marker changed. So don't give up!

Are you using the standard "treatment letter" form, signed by a physician, etc.?

[justpat]

    Hi Kira ,couple of questions . Have you changed your name yet to a female one and did you make sure your letter had everything in it that is required. I have a copy of the SS directives for name and gender change if you need them. They are extremely picky, I did go round and round with them about my gender and had the directives with me.Every time they said something stupid I would show them they were wrong. To finally shut me up they agreed to send my letter to SS headquarters in  Maryland who promptly said it was fine. There is another problem but it has to do with an x wife drawing on my account.  Just a suggestion go in dolled up in your very best with your paperwork correct and don't take no for an answer. If they give you a hard time ask right away for a supervisor and have them tell you exactly what is wrong. If you need the directives let me know right here or on my email.     Patty

[Sydney_NYC]

I'm surprised about Social Security. (You only need a letter formatted a specific way and you don't have to have SRS.) Mine in NJ was a breeze to do. They did mess up my name the first time and misspelled it and had to go back and get it fixed, but they were super friendly to deal with. I had a little trouble with the passport agency clerk for my passport on which form to use. I showed her the procedure from the state departments website and found out she had been doing it for those changing their gender marker. She asked if she could keep a copy of the procedure and posted in their office. She was very pleasant about it.

Lowering your T will help and you might not be on enough E. Out of curiosity, since most surgeons require full time for a year, how did you get SRS done without that requirement?

[Kiria1988]

My name has been legally changed to a female name and my drivers license is female. my birth certificate is from Alabama and they flat refused to amend or change the gender marker and name even with my Court papers. I am going Monday to see an Attorney to se about getting my Social Security Gender maker changed.

[mac1]

Just a question for which I have not seen an answer.

Wont changing your gender marker on Social Security have an adverse effect when you become eligible for Social Security and Medicare, especially when you seek medical procedures under Medicare?  Could they deny you coverage if: (1) Medicare lists you as female and you request male related procedures; (2) Medicare lists you as male and you request female related procedures?  Could it even have an effect on you drawing the basic Social Security benefits?

[Kiria1988]

That is true. Monday I will cancel the gender mark change. Benefits are more important.

[mac1]

My present life makes it impossible to live full time in my prefered gender. The Doctor's office I go to I present male. When out and about I present male. When with my friends whom are accepting of me I be me. The Doctor in private knows my T status and prescribes my hrt. The Doctor recommeded I gone on anti-androgens as My blood test showed my T level a little too high even though I had full SRS. I declined because I told him I will never be able to go full time as a woman because I pass sometimes. The young cis males are the ones that really make a scene with screaming and harrassment. I get stared down by cis women in the summer months when I used to go full time with summer wear and was told the way I dress is inappropriate. I'm now adjusting and accepting my part time womanhood.

Given my present circumstances I could accept just the total removal of the male junk with a proper reroute, facial and body feminization, and the ability to live at least part time as female (be accepted publically and socially  as either female or male) with the support of my wife. I would not have to change my gender marker on anything.

[Eveline]

my birth certificate is from Alabama and they flat refused to amend or change the gender marker and name even with my Court papers.

Kiria, it looks like Alabama requires proof of SRS to change gender. Is this what they told you?

I think this is the relevant statute:

§ 22-9A-19(d): "Upon receipt of a certified copy of an order of a court of competent jurisdiction indicating that the sex of an individual born in this state has been changed by surgical procedure and that the name of the individual has been changed, the certificate of birth of the individual shall be amended as prescribed by rules to reflect the changes."

There is also more detail here.

[Sydney_NYC]

My name has been legally changed to a female name and my drivers license is female. my birth certificate is from Alabama and they flat refused to amend or change the gender marker and name even with my Court papers. I am going Monday to see an Attorney to se about getting my Social Security Gender maker changed.

I was born in TN and they will not change the gender. Since I had me passport name and gender marker changed, I didn't even bother to try to change the name on my TN Birth Certificate. Even if they did, they cross out the old name (but is still readable) and put in your new name on top. Since once you have a valid passport, there is no reason to need to show a birth certificate to anyone, even if I move to another state to get the correct DL. I just have to make sure I keep my passport valid and up to date.

[Kiria1988]

After much thought and misery, I have made the decision to detransition. It is only a fantasy for me to be female. It's something that just doesn't work out for me and I accept that.

[Aazhie]

Hey there,

is there any option for you to leave where you live?  :C  I am totally supportive of anyone wishing to transition or not, it is their right, but the people around you being jerks make me think you could be happier in another place. 

[Kiria1988]

They are being jerks. I get stared down by women if I wear dresses or shorts until I cover up then the staring
stops. I was told yesterday to get a haircut. My hair is too long down my back anyway.