People not sure if you're MTF or FTM

[FinallyMe84]

This hasn't happened to me in a long time, but it has happened a couple times, where random people, upon me revealing, for whatever reason,  that I'm trans, weren't sure if I was MTF or FTM. It didn't really bother me, but should I be offended, or is that somehow a good thing?? Just an odd thing I want to get people's opinion on and find out if it's happened to others.

[LordKAT]

It has happened to many, including me. You reach that androgynous state or you mention trans and look your gender and not what you were declared at birth. It confuses people who think you can never look like your true gender.

[Eveline]

Honey, if they said that when you were looking like your avatar, there must be something wrong with their eyesight.

Seriously, though, it's possible they were being cautious and thought maybe you were a very attractive person just beginning to transition FTM...

[awilliams1701]

I agree I see you as female. given the choices between the two I don't see how anyone could not say MTF.

[FinallyMe84]

 

Thanks all! I was definitely at a fairly androgynous part of transition at the time, and it was probably a combination of that and ignorance. Somehow, it made me feel good though, in a weird sort of way.

[DragonBeer]

I can relate. I was at that andro state (still there but more masculine looking now) and I had a few comments where people thought I was MTF.

[jessical]

This happened with me.  Surprisingly it was a neighbor I talk to often!  I took it as male fail.

[Arch]

Long before my transition, during a time when I was regularly challenged in the bathrooms, I went to some kind of gender symposium (can't remember now). Someone clearly misunderstood and told me she would never have known because I seemed totally female to her.

I was not amused.

[mac1]

This hasn't happened to me in a long time, but it has happened a couple times, where random people, upon me revealing, for whatever reason,  that I'm trans, weren't sure if I was MTF or FTM. It didn't really bother me, but should I be offended, or is that somehow a good thing?? Just an odd thing I want to get people's opinion on and find out if it's happened to others.

Given my circumstances, it would be nice if I could pass openly as either "F" or "M".

[MacG]

This has happened tome. I wasn't sure how to take it. So I shrugged it off. I suspect people don't know if one has started socially transitioning, and don't know where in the process one might be.
However, I do think it's an insensitive thing to say or ask.
The better question to ask is what pronouns one uses.

[Eevee]

Someone asked me this once... back when I looked 100% male. I guess they didn't think much about why I was coming out at my school about it: I was starting transition.

[Newgirl Dani]

For me....female.  .  In answer to your question though, I'm guessing that a good deal of it is just not having enough reference markers in the ole brain for most people.  When the word trans comes up, the brain gets the green light to go "ok yeah, I'm picking up on a barely perceptible difference", sends it to the conscious, but the conscious does not have the ability to know much.  Could maybe have mistaken just as easily in the opposite direction.

Without that one "key" word though, I'll bet (judging from your avatar) no one would make any connection either way.

Short Version:  Your Pretty.   Dani

[Wynternight]

When I went to my PCP for the first time and she was looking at my chart where it listed "HRT" as my primary reason for being there, she asked me if I was F2M. I thought it was wonderful. Now, almost seven months into HRT I wouldn't care for it quite so much, methinks.

[Jayvin]

Personally, I'd see it as a good thing, because that means they could not automatically figure it out. But they were likely confused because it could be that you already transitioned, or you're pre-transition. Unless you specifically mentioned if you're pre/post-transition, they have no way to assume generally.

[Gothic Dandy]

I actually did this to somebody else at a support group because she didn't specify which way she was going in her introduction. Thank god I didn't say anything about it and figured it out on my own!!!

I've had this happen to me too, but only online. I'm sure my voice would be a dead giveaway in person. If what they're thinking in their heads is, "Well, this person still looks kind of manly," then I guess I'll take that as a compliment! Unfortunately, I think in one instance a bunch of people thought I was going to be their MTF sex toy. That was a most unpleasant experience.

[Ashey]

This happened to me recently when I told my roommate. After I said I was trans she's like 'Okay that's cool.... so... you're gonna be a guy?' And for a moment there she kinda took that and ran with it. She was a bit shocked and confused when I said I had already transitioned.