First week full time

[Amy The Bookworm]

I'm now finishing up my first week full time.

I got my hair fixed up a bit, bangs trimmed and such,  eyebrows waxed, went home, put on my makeup and clothes, donated what clothing of mine was in good shape, threw out everything tattered and old, and haven't looked back.

I've decided makeup is only for when I go out to cut back on cost ... though that's been nearly every day since I walk up to the university to paint (I'm less than 2 months away from graduating with a BFA in painting ... that doesn't seem real yet).

For the most part it's been absolutely great and my only regret is that I wish I had been able to do so sooner. I haven't had any issues using the woman's restroom. I haven't had anyone say anything insulting to me yet.  I feel comfortable and happy and alive in a way I never thought possible. And that's despite having clothing that's mostly old second hand clothing or hand me downs from my Mom (who's about the same size as me).

I did run into a few men repairing a window at a nearby apartment building while out on a walk who made some rather rude remarks, revolving around a sexual nature. I found the experience of being cat called degrading, humiliating, and intimidating especially since I dress in a way that is intentionally meant to not draw attention to me. My look can be described as "elementary school teacher". So it's rather conservative.

I also feel more anxious around groups of men. I find them intimidating. While I always have felt that way, I feel that more strongly now.

Another issue I have is my wife. She's afraid to be seen with me in public by people we know ... so she often has me wait in the car or stay home if she's going out to do something like shopping or errands. I guess she feels no one will recognize me by myself. I haven't decided yet if I find that to be a compliment or somewhat degrading that she thinks I need her there to be noticed.

Still, I tend to go out during the day, am more comfortable outside than I have ever been, and I smile so much that my mouth muscles hurt a bit from smiling so much.

[Asche]

Congratulations!  I hope things will continue to go as smoothly as this.

But,  I think you're going to need to take frowning lessons because you're not supposed to smile that much.  Don't you know happiness is against The Rules?

(Oh,   for that last paragraph, for the teasing-impaired.)

[Lady Smith]

Congratulations on your first week! Well done.  I found my first time out scary, but quickly settled into it.  I can't remember having a non-stop smile, but it certainly felt good to be properly myself at last.

[sam1234]

That's great! It takes courage to go out full time in an area where people know who you are.

It will probably take your wife a while before she is comfortable being seen with you. Can she accept you as you really are?

Its understandable that you would feel a bit intimidated by men. Both because they know what you used to look like and as a woman. Usually its all talk though.

Good luck in continuing to progress!

sam1234

[Oneal]

Wow, what made you pluck up the courage and just go for it? That is very admirable, I can't wait for the day I am able to do the same.

On a side note, how is your wife reacting to in general? You say she is struggling to be with you in public. What about in private, at home and such?

[immortal gypsy]

Congratulations, it's always great to finally be us no matter how long we wait. Get use to thoes mouth muscles hurting because that smile doesn't really go away

[rosinstraya]

"I'm now two weeks full time, so there!" (Sticks tongue out and puts hands on hips........that aren't quite there yet.)

Congratulations to you, it's great to see a smiling face! 

[Mariah]

Congrats and I agree with Gypsy that smile really doesn't go away. I'm glad it doesn't and I'm sure you will be too. Hugs
Mariah

[Amy The Bookworm]

My wife is supportive when we are at home. Today she even encouraged me to go pick up our daughter from school. Though, our marriage has other issues outside of me being transgender that place it on shaky ground.

As for what caused me to go full time now, I'd been working up to it.

I've been working on growing my hair out for over two years.
I've been going to therapy for almost as long.
I've been working on voice therapy for about a year (It's not perfect by any means, but it's a pretty good improvement)
I've had 4 rounds of laser hair removal (I need one or two more but it's enough to easily cover what I have with a close shave and foundation for the day).
I've been working on getting clothing together and perfecting applying makeup.
I started HRT in October, and come April 8th, I'll have been on HRT for 6 months.
I've already come out to classmates, instructors, and most of my friends and family (I'll be coming out to the rest on facebook on March 31st which I'm told is transgender day of visibility)
I'm not currently working as I'm a full time student and a stay at home Mom. So, when spring break came up, I decided it was a good time to do it since I graduate in May, and get my name changed in April, which I get a steep discount on lawyer fees as the university covers them since I'm a student and my student fees are used to pay that.
I'm planning to move to Portland Oregon June 1st, where I have more supportive family.]
I also decided to get my hair styled and eyebrows done on the 14th.

I've been carefully planning and working on a lot of things for years to get to this point. It's not as sudden as it appears.

So, I can graduate with my name legally changed, which makes looking for a job  and setting my new life up just a little easier in the future.

It was simply time.

[Oneal]

Wow! Like you say, a lot of planning and methodical working!

It must be such a satisfying feeling as everything you have planned and set out all starts falling into place

I hope things work out with your wife, she sounds like a very understanding person.

Extremely happy for you!

[jeminajay]

Congratulations. I am planning to live alone to be on the track to go full-time. It should be fun.