family day not sure what to do

[Jerri]

I have been trying to meet up with my dad since February, he had my sister call to say he will be about 100 miles south next week at his brothers whom does not support nor like anything about me, if i want  to see him i can go there. I have tried to call him but no return call yet. I am ok with he and I meeting for lunch or something but do not want to do it a hostile setting, it will the first time he has seen me since coming out and over 10 years as well. maybe he will call sometime...

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I hope you get something set up so you can see him. Keep us posted.

Hugs, Devlyn

[evecrook]

good luck. I'd stay a way from a non neutral zone though

[Rachel]

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Tessa James]

That sounds like a tough situation Jerri,

I regret not coming out before my parents punched their last ticket to ride and was estranged from my son for 10 years too.  I admire your wanting to work it out but recognize that an adult to adult relationship deserves some balance.  I hope he is willing to meet you half way.  It can take a long time for some of us to process this new view of us.  Hell i couldn't accept myself for decades.  Parents can have real mixed up feelings about being the cause of our transgender life or fearing for our safety and success.  How have you two handled tough talks in the past?  What worked or didn't?  Some people can relate to dramatic transitions in their own life such as life altering surgeries or other events.  My dad could never talk about feelings other than anger but, it is a new day.

I agree that it is smart to meet in a neutral place like a restaurant or just take a walk along the river bank path.  Good luck!

[chefskenzie]

HUGS.   Hope you can meet him in a safe environment.  Will keep you in my thoughts.

[Jerri]

thank you all so very much, i have been in tears all day trying to decide what to do and why
I did get a call into my father and explained my concerns, and that i felt it would be best for us to meet on a more personal level at least for the first time. he seems to understand just not sure he will enable that yet. he did say he would be back before summer though that perhaps we get together then, in a bit less hostile location since I dont feel comfortable at his brothers. so i guess thats it for this week as do not feel that i am up to a confrontation from his brother and family. last month they asked me to not go to my cousins funeral, they felt it would be disrespectful for me to be at their house as me. some people are so shallow it is sad.
mostly i wanted thank everyone for confirming not put myself in harms way. it gave me strength to keep calling and trying.

Jerri

[evecrook]

I hope you can find peace

[Tessa James]

Damn, that is harsh.  Keeping you away from family events of that magnitude is what is disrespectful and hurtful but then you would be revealing your truth and that is hard for some to experience.

Hang on Honey

[Mariah]

It's totally wrong for them to keep you away from family events on so many levels. Sorry to hear they are doing that. Your father seems like he is trying to meet you half way by trying to find away to not meeting you on such hostile ground. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted. Good Luck and Hugs
Mariah