Frustration with my parents

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

So, hi everyone!
I'm new here and I'm not really sure how these forum things work so please correct me if I'm doing it wrong. 
Anyway, a little about me, I'm 16 and a sophomore in high school, living with my parents and 2 brothers. I've known ever since I was 8 that I wanted to be a girl. This was years and years before I knew transgender people existed. I'm an extremely closed-off person so sadly until a few months ago when I came out to them  my parents had absolutely no clue. They're quite closed-minded and ultra-religious and they seem to see everything through the filter of their religion, which I find hard to relate to. They've flat out told me that they don't think transition is the right thing to do and they won't allow me to do it, even though I know transition is the right thing for me.
I know it would be unrealistic for people like them to come around in such a relatively short time, but it's incredibly frustrating to see that they've made no progress in the acceptance process. It sounds terrible, but I've never had that close of a relationship with my parents and it's only getting worse, so I may not keep in contact once I move away (which I plan to do asap).
Fortunately I have fairly feminine features and I feel pretty confident that I could pass once I start hrt. Another source of frustration is that I want to start before male puberty can harm me any more.
Anyway I hope I got the idea across and I look forward to any responses! 
Thanks,
Serena ♡♡♡

[Cindy]

Hi Young lady!

Welcome to Susan's

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I do know how hard this is, have you managed to speak to your parents? Or is there a school counselor you can talk too?

You may want to check out the Youth Section on the forum there are lots of young people to talk to there.

Hugs and Welcome

Cindy

[Lady Smith]

Hello Serena welcome to the forum.  Let me tell you right now that God made you the way you are, - a girl in a boy's body, - and that he/she loves you very much and doesn't either hate or condemn you for it.  I really don't understand why some folk take the simple message that Jesus gave us and turn it into a rod for their own backs and here I am living under vows (well solemn promises actually) as a religious solitary so you'd think I should know (sigh).

But enough of the religious stuff.  Plainly you know in your own heart who you are and over the next few years that's going to lead to some difficult choices being made, but the most important thing is that you need to be the person who you are.  Anything else is just going to make you plain miserable.  I should know since I waited until I was 38 before doing something about it.
There are some good people here on this forum and I know they'll be here for you as you step off into the wonderful journey of truly becoming yourself.

Blessings always

Anne

[V M]

Hi Serena 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Laura_7]

 Hello,
you could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best... if it is better to wait some because they might react stubbornly...
and it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor...
talking in a relaxed manner might help... remaining calm and stating facts and a few needs...

You might say that being transgender has biological connections... its not some kind of light hearted choice, or a whim...
Sometimes people have preconceived ideas for example by the media (which is changing now), and have no real understanding...


Concerning religion, it should be about love.
We are talking about books being translated over three languages: greek, latin, and english. Exact words should not matter but a spirit of love.
If you had a physical ailment your parents were called to help. If you have a psychological ailment like the need to be more of your gender then some support could be a reaction of love.



hugs

[Myarkstir]

Hey!

Welcome to Susan's

[Athena]

Hi Serena welcome to Susan's

[gennee]

Hello Serena and welcome to Susan's.

[awilliams1701]

My two of my three sisters have known for about 6 months and they are still struggling with it. The other as well as my parents has known closer to 8 months and their ok with it. I too got the whole religious argument. There isn't a lot you can do to combat that, but I also feel that things have improved in 6 months. I'm hoping they will come around eventually. I haven't counted them out and its too early to count your parents out too. Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do at 16 except keep pushing for it.

When I came out at work I started with HR. She told me that I'm the 3rd trans person to come out with the company. The first two were not as certain as I was and as a result their co-workers found it confusing and weren't sure what to believe. However I've held strong my desire to transition and people have accepted me as Ashley. There was certainly resistance at first, but not now. Keep pushing for it and hopefully they'll see how serious you are.

So, hi everyone!
I'm new here and I'm not really sure how these forum things work so please correct me if I'm doing it wrong. 
Anyway, a little about me, I'm 16 and a sophomore in high school, living with my parents and 2 brothers. I've known ever since I was 8 that I wanted to be a girl. This was years and years before I knew transgender people existed. I'm an extremely closed-off person so sadly until a few months ago when I came out to them  my parents had absolutely no clue. They're quite closed-minded and ultra-religious and they seem to see everything through the filter of their religion, which I find hard to relate to. They've flat out told me that they don't think transition is the right thing to do and they won't allow me to do it, even though I know transition is the right thing for me.
I know it would be unrealistic for people like them to come around in such a relatively short time, but it's incredibly frustrating to see that they've made no progress in the acceptance process. It sounds terrible, but I've never had that close of a relationship with my parents and it's only getting worse, so I may not keep in contact once I move away (which I plan to do asap).
Fortunately I have fairly feminine features and I feel pretty confident that I could pass once I start hrt. Another source of frustration is that I want to start before male puberty can harm me any more.
Anyway I hope I got the idea across and I look forward to any responses! 
Thanks,
Serena ♡♡♡

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

Wow, thanks everyone! This really made my day!

Hi Young lady!

Welcome to Susan's

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

I do know how hard this is, have you managed to speak to your parents? Or is there a school counselor you can talk too?

You may want to check out the Youth Section on the forum there are lots of young people to talk to there.

Hugs and Welcome

Cindy

I have talked to my parents about it and my dad is a little more accepting (still not very accepting but better luck than with my mom). So that's something I can work with I guess. I am talking about it with my psychotherapist who I've been seeing for about six months for depression. Thank you!

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

Hello Serena welcome to the forum.  Let me tell you right now that God made you the way you are, - a girl in a boy's body, - and that he/she loves you very much and doesn't either hate or condemn you for it.  I really don't understand why some folk take the simple message that Jesus gave us and turn it into a rod for their own backs and here I am living under vows (well solemn promises actually) as a religious solitary so you'd think I should know (sigh).

But enough of the religious stuff.  Plainly you know in your own heart who you are and over the next few years that's going to lead to some difficult choices being made, but the most important thing is that you need to be the person who you are.  Anything else is just going to make you plain miserable.  I should know since I waited until I was 38 before doing something about it.
There are some good people here on this forum and I know they'll be here for you as you step off into the wonderful journey of truly becoming yourself.

Blessings always

Anne

Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I was beginning to think no religious people would actually accept me for who I am. It's good to hear that there are still people out there who believe in good old-fashioned love without discrimination. 

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

Hello,
you could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best... if it is better to wait some because they might react stubbornly...
and it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor...
talking in a relaxed manner might help... remaining calm and stating facts and a few needs...

You might say that being transgender has biological connections... its not some kind of light hearted choice, or a whim...
Sometimes people have preconceived ideas for example by the media (which is changing now), and have no real understanding...


Concerning religion, it should be about love.
We are talking about books being translated over three languages: greek, latin, and english. Exact words should not matter but a spirit of love.
If you had a physical ailment your parents were called to help. If you have a psychological ailment like the need to be more of your gender then some support could be a reaction of love.



hugs

Unfortunately my parents are rather disconnected from mainstream society so they don't hear any trans-friendly news or articles or anything. They base their opinions around church policies, what family members say, and things like that.
Amen to that!

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

My two of my three sisters have known for about 6 months and they are still struggling with it. The other as well as my parents has known closer to 8 months and their ok with it. I too got the whole religious argument. There isn't a lot you can do to combat that, but I also feel that things have improved in 6 months. I'm hoping they will come around eventually. I haven't counted them out and its too early to count your parents out too. Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do at 16 except keep pushing for it.

When I came out at work I started with HR. She told me that I'm the 3rd trans person to come out with the company. The first two were not as certain as I was and as a result their co-workers found it confusing and weren't sure what to believe. However I've held strong my desire to transition and people have accepted me as Ashley. There was certainly resistance at first, but not now. Keep pushing for it and hopefully they'll see how serious you are.

Thank you! Yeah, at least I can keep pushing and hopefully someday they'll realize how serious I am and come to accept me.

[awilliams1701]

One other thing I didn't think of yesterday when I posted here, was that my mom is accepting of me now. Initially she didn't reject me, but she didn't accept me either. She was in deep denial. Then playing the blame game. Was it her fault during the pregnancy? Was it my dad's fault for being out of town for work all the time? She got over it.
And as I said before two of my sisters are not handling it well, but from what I've heard there are improvements on both. I'm still not talking to my older sister, but she's gone from I will always be Allen to I guess I can call you "A".
The other had made a goal of talking to me each month. She's failed that goal for the last two months, but we did chat on facebook the other day. I feel if it wasn't for her husband who's own family is completely dysfunctional, my sister wouldn't be so hesitant to accept me.

[Serena, Lady of Rivendell]

One other thing I didn't think of yesterday when I posted here, was that my mom is accepting of me now. Initially she didn't reject me, but she didn't accept me either. She was in deep denial. Then playing the blame game. Was it her fault during the pregnancy? Was it my dad's fault for being out of town for work all the time? She got over it.
And as I said before two of my sisters are not handling it well, but from what I've heard there are improvements on both. I'm still not talking to my older sister, but she's gone from I will always be Allen to I guess I can call you "A".
The other had made a goal of talking to me each month. She's failed that goal for the last two months, but we did chat on facebook the other day. I feel if it wasn't for her husband who's own family is completely dysfunctional, my sister wouldn't be so hesitant to accept me.

Improvement is always a good thing! I really hope my parents can learn eventually to accept me though I expect it will take a while. I haven't told my brothers yet and don't plan to until my parents are a little more accepting since if everyone in my family knew at this point, my parents would probably give me a hard time about it 24/7. At least now they never talk to me about it unless we're alone.