Do I really need a reason to transition ???? help? PART 2

[Angela84]

PART DUEX -
So for the past year I have delved deeper into my femme side and I mean deep !! As where in before I would only crossdress indoors then slowly made my way to going for a drive around town for a bit to now  wearing full blown girls clothes while at the gym leggings sports bra ,hoodie hair in a headband or with a deep part and hair voluminous and curly.  but...its usually mainly empty as it's late nite although I have ran into some people men and women the reaction was pretty tolerant and reserved..? I have even been checked out ...by a few people girls and guys even a cop who did a double take like nice ..!! But figured I was a guy as I had minimal makeup on and went on his way but not without a look back lbvs. So Now recently I have went from a muscular 199 pounds(2014) roughly 5 foot9 inches (bodybuilder/personal trainer physique) too now (2015) purposely trying/lost all muscle mass and "slimmed down to a thin 160/65(and counting!!) fit toned very "femme looking lower body" 29" waist  20" thighs perky rear from squats/lunges etc while I must admit I have been told by many in the straight and "gay " community that I would make a nice looking woman ..I look in the mirror and all though I have many fem features legs for days ,nice butt ,full extremely curly head of hair that I am  a quarter of the length that it used to be during my ""man days "" growing out when it was to my shoulders. I still have my masculine features height ,hands are a bit big but fingers thin..bad skin ..scars ,deep pores its not horrible ...but not flawless either. I am growing out my hair feminizing my physique through exercise ,Peirced my nose,wear gender nuetral glasses (librarian type ) my clothes have always been tight but this summer I'm gonna go a bit  more andro...so if you know me personally your probably like what the #$% is going on did he turn "gay"   *** main point ****  I'm honest I am not suicidal I was never bullied or unpopular never had a problem with women or men..just love being fem !!

[Zoetrope]

Tip ... that was a long, long post and very difficult to read!

Sometimes people write essays on here. Personally I cannot trawl through it all :~o

What's your question?

[Angela84]

Well that I have yet to read,meet ,research anyone that has yet too transition for reasons other then it was "that "(Transition)" or suicide "? Which has me perplexed so i was thinking I could get some insight from an individual that is living full time. And yes my post was a bit long as not exactly a question as in more an introduction*.

[Zoetrope]

Ah ok, gotcha.

Look, I was never suicidal, but I wasn't happy either.

My main reason for doing this, was that who I am did not match what I was.

I couldn't express myself properly, and I knew there was more to me below the surface.

Basically, life felt like I was playing a game. Not quite living a lie, but not quite being honest either.

In short, I wanted to live life to the full, but that felt impossible during my old predicament. That was my reason.

[SamiT]

Angela,

I think one of the fundamental issues you first need to get passed is that transition is different for everyone. To what degree is entirely up to each person. For some its just acknowledging that they have a fem side. Some its androgyny for others its the entire works brain to booty.. A good course of action is to develop goals both mentally and physically of where you want to be and move there no matter small or large. You may find the course changes along the way and you may find once you reach one you are striving for another. Eventually you will come to a point where you look at yourself and say this is ME. I'm happy with who and where I am.. Some people never stop transitioning and others are 99% on day one. So much of it is a journey of self discovery. No need to rush it enjoy the ride.. Puberty only comes twice for the transgender. This is your opportunity to do what nature got wrong the first time.

[Jenna Marie]

I've said it before, I don't think it has to be a *need.* I think people are entitled to do things just to make themselves happier.

I wasn't suicidal; I wasn't even miserable. I thought transition would make me happiER, but I wasn't wholly unhappy as I was. I wondered for a long time if that made me "not really trans," but I started down the path anyway, and sure enough, it did make me happier.

I've now been living full-time as a woman since summer 2010 and had GRS in summer 2012, and I've never regretted it. In fact, if I'd truly understood how much happier and more fulfilled I'd be, I would have had no questions at all about transitioning. (I started transition at 32 and I'm bisexual but strongly prefer women, if that matters to you.)

Do what you need to do, and you don't need to justify it to anyone, even yourself. (If you do start taking small steps and realize you're NOT happy about it/want to go back, well, now you know something important about yourself. Even if it's not what you expected, it's an answer, and that's still valuable.)

[Raelyn2]

Feminizing through exercise, how so?

[ana1111]

depends on the point in my life as to whether it was a need but now that I am its do or die... I tried hard not to think about gender at all before cause I thought I couldn't transition do to family and being a minor with no money...but things changed..

[Angela84]

Thanks so much everyone for your input ☺ @ sami T I must agree with your post very true.

[Angela84]

And as Feminizing through exercise I do not work out upper body at all. I just do cardio and leg exercises which increases the size of your glutes ..shrinks waist ...keeps me thin but not too skinny I still need meat my bones lol

[Eva]

Well only you can decide this  

I had a very comfortable life as a "man" and I certainly could have continued on keeping all of this in the closet for how much longer who knows but for me anyway after much thought I just decided to get started because I wanted to and I was in a good position to do whatever the hell I wanted to... I was 44 and single with no kids and a lot of $$$ from totally overcompensating, working way too hard trying to prove to the world I was a "real man" and trying to just be "normal"... I had a lot of skills one could only consider masculine, Im a mechanical genius Ive been told... Figuring out and intuitively understanding complex machinery always came naturally to me... I was the guy people came to to fix all things mechanical...

I cant say I really hated myself to the point I wanted to die but I was always unhappy with my less than masculine features... Like being only 5' 7" with an embarrassingly slight amount of fine body hair, underdeveloped down there, small hands and feet for a guy ect... Yet male I was born and I made a hell of an effort and by a lot of societies measures I was very successful at it... I was always BI I knew that from very young but I cant say I was telling my mom I was a girl when I was 5 or anything like that... In fact I never seriously CD'ed until my early 30's, I had a lot of GF's and some very pretty but I never felt right with them... I also knew I wasn't gay because Id only get aroused thinking about men from the female perspective... I never wanted to be a man with a man.... I was never very good at being the man in the bedroom with anyone and that used to really mess with me, my relationships with women never really went anywhere... I really tried to be "normal" but never could find a wife or have kids.... So all those things that used to really bug the hell out of me I now consider a blessing 

I struggled for a LONG time wondering if I was "really trans" or if it was all just some weird sexual kink... Whatever you want to call it letting out my fem side even if only in secret or only in my mind and sexual fantasies was always there since puberty started... After nearly having a breakdown and coming out to myself and resolving to for once love and accept myself come what may.... I started out by taking a very effective for me anyway feminizing herbal regime and just seriously going out CD'ing... I found that with each step I took to become more feminine the better I felt and the more I wanted... Then I started laser and then electrolysis on my beard... Shortly after that I found a doc to prescribe legit HRT and went off the herbal stuff... Picked out a new name, filed the paper work with the court... And then the big one for me was I came out to friends and family and Ive never looked back

Ive secretly wanted a "sex change" since the first time I ever heard it was possible way back in the early 80's... But I never thought Id seriously ever do that even only a year and half ago....

Well after more than a year full time, 11 1/2 months on legit HRT, VFS and FFS... Ive had one psych write a letter for for Brassard and I just started seeing another one to get my second letter and set up a date for SRS

Things have gone easier and better than I ever imagined they could and aside from fears and doubts about complications or a bad result from surgery... I know this is right for me, there are ZERO regrets and Id never want to go back

[Angela84]

@eva

You nailed it ! Bingo! I can relate ..that is exactly how I feel.  Thank you im not alone.
                                    ,Angela