why do you think the majority of trans women are attracted to women

[Wild Flower]

The guys who love me the most tend to be bisexual or gay guys (who were in longterm relationship with women), but bisexual guys like me the most. They also ignore my privates, since they don't enjoy it, but they enjoy "me" if that makes sense. It's kind of hard to describe, since this is what they are getting from me.  They are men, and do not want nor need to get penetrated. Why they like me is because I am smaller than them, and I make them feel strong/masculine... plus the racial difference turns them on *I been with more black bisexual men than non-black.... they are damn hot, 6'3-6'4, strong muscles, lean muscles*..

Bisexual men... I am going to find me a nice tall dark and handsome bisexual man. Thank god they exist.

Other than that... I don't like dating gay guys *since I haven't transition yet*, nor have I ever really dated a good-looking gay guy... it's like they are hard to find for me. You would think as a guy guy (since that is how I am perceive) I would easily be dating a gay guy??? I get more action from the real world, from straight men, from bisexual men.... I see the attraction in these guys eyes... and gay guys don't like me most of the time. Like I have to lower my standards for a gay guy to be into me.... like he has to be a bit uglier or something.

[Dee Marshall]

I guess I'm lucky in some ways. I never had to fight anything. I've always been female since early childhood & always attracted to men. I've never had any mental stress from being "trans" anything. I've always been a women just without some of the physical changes for my body such as a normal depth vagina. I'm older than most of your lucky girls however life is good for me I guess. If you are border line just let go & enjoy being a woman, there is no need to fight anything, a real man will make you feel great if you just relax & enjoy him.  Good luck GF's.

That sounds an awful lot like you just told a bunch of lesbians to "sleep with a guy, you'll like it." I hope that wasn't what you intended.

[Rachel]

This is a good thread with some great exchanges.

Please be mindful of what we post and remember this is a support site with a very diverse population of gender and sexuality.

Also, please be mindful to report offensive posts to moderators and not to directly intercede.

[ImagineKate]

So, here's a good question to follow up with: generally, we all know it is the ones who identify as gay beforehand (are attracted to men) who transition at a younger age (like I did-I thought I was exclusively into guys, turns out I'm bisexual).  Why?

Not true. The only reason I didn't transition younger is because I lived in a heavily transphobic society and would have had zero support from parents. I would have probably been killed too.

[Melizza]

My two cents ,

Before my transition I was only attracted to women, I never thought of being with a guy, that was kind of repulsive at the time.

Three months after I started HRT I noticed that somehow my brain had changed and I was looking at guys in a sexual way, I was admiring their bodies and faces and I did not feel anything when looking at women anymore (other than admiring their clothes or shoes) .

I am post ops now and I have being with some straight guys since then, it has not even crossed my mind about being with a woman at all.

[Jenna Marie]

I think, as others have said, that first off I doubt the premise (there's no solid evidence that a "majority" of trans women *are* attracted to women) and that secondly I've personally run into tremendous pressure to identify as straight because "a real woman likes/dates men." Attraction and orientation do not exist in a vacuum; there's a reason that it's easier for a bisexual cis woman to date men, and part of that is societal. So it may be that trans women are being pushed into dating women while society perceives them as men... which forces them to acknowledge a latent attraction to women that cis women are NOT encouraged to discover and explore. Who knows.

Personally, I was bisexual before transition and HRT and I'm bi now, though I 95% preferred women before and these days it's about 75% women/25% men.

[BunnyBee]

So, here's a good question to follow up with: generally, we all know it is the ones who identify as gay beforehand (are attracted to men) who transition at a younger age (like I did-I thought I was exclusively into guys, turns out I'm bisexual).  Why?

Maybe there is still that false hope that if they can learn to manage their dysphoria that they can hold onto their heteronormative life?  That privilege is hard to give up if you think you may not have to, and even made harder when you know the rejection that would come from letting people in on the truth.

[Eva]

Here's the thing that confused me for a LONG time.... Was I "gay", I donno, I was only attracted to men from what I know now was more of a female perspective "Gay" to me means two men together... I never wanted to be a man with a man and in fact the idea of "topping" a man never had any appeal at all  Of course I had the same problem with women, I never felt right in the dominant role  Im still very attracted to women, BUT..... The thought of a "gay" relationship with a woman while still pre op just has no appeal to me but its very exciting imagining a lesbian relationship post op And yes in my mind THAT would be "gay" LOL So I just consider myself BI, Im mostly into men right now but that may change in the future

Also consider its not uncommon for cis people who are BI to present themselves as "straight" to the world and keep the "gay" part whether acted on or not a closely guarded secret.... Women of course fair or not seem to have much more freedom to "mess around", but that's because men are into that and like it or not it's still a "mans world" So I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of trans women were the same as cis women in that regard.....

[cindianna_jones]

I'm seeing a therapist right now to help me through a traumatic divorce. We were together for 24 years and he left me for a "real woman." Well, I think he was just being mean. But back to therapy. She asked me about this. I told her that I honestly don't know. I have a lot of emotional turmoil so perhaps that should be put behind me first. She suggested I might be pansexual. I'd never heard of it. I looked it up and I suppose I could be, along with all of the other "Xsexuals" out there. But I feel asexual. At this point in my life, I think I shall remain single. If a guy wants to take me out, I'll go. But I'll make sure to tell him that I'm not interested in any relationships. Women? I don't have a clue. I might give it a try. I just don't know at the moment and you know what? I don't care.

Cindi

[LizMarie]

Comments follow.

1. Is there an actual study that says more transwomen are into women than men? I am not aware of one and would enjoy reading the study. (Yes, I'm a nerd and collect trans related scientific study URLs.)

2. I knew I was different even as a child, but due purely to peer pressure, I dated girls (often disastrously) until I fell in love with one and we married. I'd been kissed by boys and didn't object when I was still in school.

3. Again, trying to conform, trying to be who everyone else expected me to be, I pretended to be a strictly heteronormative cisgender male, but I wasn't.

4. Once my wife made it clear we were done (before I even began HRT), I allowed myself to explore, with my therapist, my own sexuality. I discovered (or rather finally admitted to myself) that I am bisexual and that what's between my partner's legs doesn't matter to me nearly as much as what's between my own (and that's getting fixed this year, yay!).

5. The above admission to myself has allowed me to begin really appreciating men and I still appreciate females as well. I find healthy men or women to generally be attractive and definitely give them all further looks.

[Jill F]

Locked.