What level are you?

[Wild Flower]

I was wondering since as trans people were playing with a bad hand of cards at life.  I think my life is at level 4 (10 being so hard its better to commit suicide.. 1 were you were given everything you need). I say 4 because it has setbacks... but everything I want is within reach.... with 100k.  Sure my life sucks but Im healthy *to my hyperchondriac mind dismay*, sure Im a man... but I have a pretty face and a feminine build, Im not smart but Im sure not stupid... Im capable of reaching your average nurse level. 

If you cant change it... its a hard life. If you can... its doable.

Realistically... my life is at level 6 in 1st world countries. Level 4 or 3 even for the world.

[femmebutt]

Kings full of queens will beat most hands ;-)  I feel lvl -1 , tipped the scales good. But it's not without frustration or blah moments (yesterday had some heavy blah going on...)  Lately I'm noticing how good it is to be engaged in things that allow me to DROP all gender or life concerns for a while. That's kind of duh. But I look back at times when I was suffering and see that I didn't give myself enough opportunity to feel anything but squished under the weight of my problems. There's plenty of mundanity, repetition in those things too - caring for my animals, exercise, my music, going into nature, etc. It all requires effort. Which for me usually equates to unhappiness (lazy!) But they bring just the opposite. Not trying to be all preachy, so I'll shut up.

[Yukihime]

Prior to HRT, I was a 10, then a 9 right up until 2014. I got away from the family which was really oppressing me as a person (they're really homophobic, kinda comes with the carribean culture, particularly Jamaica, I'm saddened that they contribute to the sterotype). Once I got out on my own and hunted for my own health care providers, I dropped down to a 6 as I did my 1 month assessment with my awesome doctor. Now I'm probably a 3, the only thing holding me down is my financial situation but money really isn't that important to me. As long as it's sustained I'm more than content.

[AmyRiver]

I guess I'm at 8 , I may hit 9 soon but I won't hit 10, I have a wife and 3 kids and I know personally the pain of suicide on family so I will just have to keep my nines and continue on. If I could transition with a bit of ffs and get rid of my beard and still keep my family happy and job then I would be a 2 but I don't see that happening. I do get to a 5 when have an afternoon to myself to dress any higher gives me such a bad downer for days after.

[Orchid]

Maybe around a 5... My math tells me that's around the middle, correct me if I'm wrong. I have all the pieces to the puzzle save for a few, but those pieces will be got, in time. I'm not sure where I was at a couple months ago. In every dark thought I may have had, I found reason with being alive in this body of mine, as I felt that my circumstances could be worse.

[Emileeeee]

On the anxiety portion, I'm probably at about an 8 or a 9 mainly because I'm finally ready to go and I'm in a trans desert. Meanwhile the decades are ticking by. But if I factored in the ability to pay for a transition, I'd put it closer to a 5 or 6.

[LizMarie]

If 1 is a perfect life and suicide is a 10, then I'm probably a 3 rapidly moving towards a 2. And I think a 1 is within reach. I've had rough spots but I've managed to get through them but I've also not had anything, other than my very bad depression before transitioning, that is as bad as some of the women here have had.

[mmmmm]

I guess I'm at 8 , I may hit 9 soon but I won't hit 10, I have a wife and 3 kids and I know personally the pain of suicide on family so I will just have to keep my nines and continue on. If I could transition with a bit of ffs and get rid of my beard and still keep my family happy and job then I would be a 2 but I don't see that happening. I do get to a 5 when have an afternoon to myself to dress any higher gives me such a bad downer for days after.

You deserve to be happy just as anyone else! You can have a happy family as a lesbian couple, and even if that couldn't work, divorce might be a better option than being miserable all the time.

[androgynouspainter26]

Eight or nine on good days.  Ten on bad ones.  Ten on most days.  The only reason I'm still alive is that I'm too cowardly to actually do myself in.

[ImagineKate]

Hard to tell.

On the one hand I don't have my dad to support me (and I really love him) my wife is so-so and I can't go fulltime yet. I have health issues that I have to watch because they may end up making surgery for me more difficult. A few of my friends turned out to be backstabbers but I cut them out of my life.

On the other hand my mom is 10000000% on board, my brothers are supportive, and everyone else is either supportive or they really don't care that I am who I am and just treat me like a human being. I have money to pay for all my for surgery (and some may even be covered by insurance), HRT is almost free for me, my job is extremely supportive and despite my state being one of the worst economy wise is actually pretty trans friendly. I have one of the best therapists and my doctor/nurse practitioner takes excellent care of me. And despite my health conditions I am actually in pretty good shape physically. And now I pass without effort and without makeup and have zero confidence issues.

So I would have to say either a 2 or 3. The days of suicidal thoughts and attempts are long gone. I'm well into transition and there is zero going back.

[cindianna_jones]

For me on the trans issues, I'm at a one for 25 years. In fact, I rarely ever think or talk about it to anyone. It's just not a topic to talk about, even with my very best girlfriend who is also trans. It never comes up. Right now, I'm going through a divorce and I have some health issues that I'm getting sorted out. So, I've been drifting a bit. I've been lazy. Coming here and meeting all the new people. The time will come when other life issues will work themselves out and I'll be back to doing the things that I like to do. And... I'll be away from here until the next big thing gives me all sorts of anxiety and worry. I like hanging out here. It keeps my mind off other things. Maybe I help a little? I think it is good for the hoards of people just starting or going through the process to be able to get to know a few of us who've been through it all for a while. Yes, there is life after transition. And it is just normal go to work, earn a living, stuff that will bog you down and it isn't anywhere near the anxiety of transition.

Chin up
Cindi

[ImagineKate]

For me on the trans issues, I'm at a ten for 25 years. In fact, I rarely ever think or talk about it to anyone. It's just not a topic to talk about, even with my very best girlfriend who is also trans. It never comes up. Right now, I'm going through a divorce and I have some health issues that I'm getting sorted out. So, I've been drifting a bit. I've been lazy. Coming here and meeting all the new people. The time will come when other life issues will work themselves out and I'll be back to doing the things that I like to do. And... I'll be away from here until the next big thing gives me all sorts of anxiety and worry. I like hanging out here. It keeps my mind of other things. Maybe I help a little? I think it is good for the hoards of people just starting or going through the process to be able to get to know a few of us who've been through it all for a while. Yes, there is life after transition. And it is just normal go to work, earn a living, stuff that will bog you down and it isn't anywhere near the anxiety of transition.

Chin up
Cindi

Remember 10 is the worst level there is are you sure you're a 10?

[cindianna_jones]

Well, I shall edit that to be a 1 then!

Cindi.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I don't know.  I guess compared to most trans people I have it easy.  Probably on like basic training level or something.  It doesn't help though.  I still feel like killing myself most days.  I honestly don't know how anyone else deals with the ->-bleeped-<- they're dealt.

[cindianna_jones]

I don't know.  I guess compared to most trans people I have it easy.  Probably on like basic training level or something.  It doesn't help though.  I still feel like killing myself most days.  I honestly don't know how anyone else deals with the ->-bleeped-<- they're dealt.

Yeah, I get you. I've been there. But think of your goal or next objective tattooed on your forehead. It won't go away until you are done. And in those times of self doubt, think of that imaginary tattoo and evaluate your progress. Write it down. Post it on a calendar, or make a bucket list. Success breeds success. We often times lose sight of our accomplishments. You ar a winner! Don't forget that.

Chin up!
Cindi

[Lady_Oracle]

level 3, life is pretty good right now. Things have been getting a lot better in the past few years. The only stuff still causing me problems is my bottom dysphoria and the physical pain I get from erections. Once I have surgery I'll be at 0.

[akegia]

Eight or nine on good days.  Ten on bad ones.  Ten on most days.  The only reason I'm still alive is that I'm too cowardly to actually do myself in.

Please don't talk like that, I know its bleak looking some times and its hard living this life. But it is worth it, and it will get better. If you ever need a ear to talk too I would be more then glad to lend mine. 

I am around a 8 I would say. I am stressed, depressed, but I can see the road ahead will get better.

[Zoetrope]

I quite like chaos theory.