Hey everyone.

[fallofadam]

I'm Adam.

I'm female-to-male transgender.

I'm 18, presently.

I've suffered from depression, self-harm, and what I later learned to be "dysphoria," since the age of 10.

I've presented as male online since the summer before my freshman year in high school, and I began to identify with the term "transgender" about a year ago when I started to really study what ->-bleeped-<- is.

I still live at home, and have only come out to my mom (who seems to have forgotten all about it). So basically, I'm still "in the closet."

I can't deal with this anymore though.

It's gotten to the point where I feel like if I can't live life as the guy that I am, then I don't want to live anymore.

I don't know what to do.

[Jill F]

Hi, fallofadam!

Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us. 

Here's some quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo , avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs,
~Jill

[fallofadam]

Thank you, Jill. I will look through them.

[mrs izzy]

Welcome to Susan's Family
So many topics to explore and posts to read or write.
Many article of news, wiki, links ,minecraft and chat
Safe passage on your path, Popcorn?

First if you are in the states go to a local planned parenthood.  They have services for the lgbtq. 

I would get into a therapist schedule for your depression and GD.

You need a map to walk your path and that will come from support from professionals and mentors.

Also if you feel you need a break call 911v visit your local hospital,  crisis holiness like the ones in my Sig. 

They are always there for anyone to reference.

Here is family and great place to vent when need.

[fallofadam]

Welcome to Susan's Family
So many topics to explore and posts to read or write.
Many article of news, wiki, links ,minecraft and chat
Safe passage on your path, Popcorn?

First if you are in the states go to a local planned parenthood.  They have services for the lgbtq. 

I would get into a therapist schedule for your depression and GD.

You need a map to walk your path and that will come from support from professionals and mentors.

Also if you feel you need a break call 911v visit your local hospital,  crisis holiness like the ones in my Sig. 

They are always there for anyone to reference.

Here is family and great place to vent when need.

Thank you for replying, Mrs. Izzy.

Planned Parenthood? What type of services do they have for LGBTQ?

I was thinking of talking to my school therapist, but I keep chickening out each time. I've never talked to anyone about my depression face-to-face before (except for two uncomfortable short talks with my mother when she saw scars from self-harm).

Thanks again for the response.

[mrs izzy]

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

Have to also remember they deal with privacy and confidentiality.

[V M]

Hi Adam 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Laura_7]

Hello  *hugs*
you could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403
Know you are not alone in this, and not the only one...

You really should see a counselor...
no matter if you go to plannedparenthood, or talk to your school counselor for a referral, or say at home you want some counseling for emotional issues...
they all keep it confidential, and are there to help...

a counselor can help you sort this out and guide you along the way...

its a process, but many have gone it before and succeeded, and people here will try to support you.

And you might keep asking questions, alone writing might help getting a better view... 


hugs

[fallofadam]

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

Have to also remember they deal with privacy and confidentiality.

Thank you for this link. I'm definitely going to check them out now.

[fallofadam]

Hi Adam 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thank you.  Everyone seems very friendly here.

[fallofadam]

Hello  *hugs*
you could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403
Know you are not alone in this, and not the only one...

You really should see a counselor...
no matter if you go to plannedparenthood, or talk to your school counselor for a referral, or say at home you want some counseling for emotional issues...
they all keep it confidential, and are there to help...

a counselor can help you sort this out and guide you along the way...

its a process, but many have gone it before and succeeded, and people here will try to support you.

And you might keep asking questions, alone writing might help getting a better view... 


hugs

Hi, I'm going to try coming out to some friends and "re-coming out" to my mother. If this doesn't work, I'll go see my school therapist, I think, because lately, this has even been affecting my studies.

I do write. I write songs, poems, and prose. A lot of it is depressing ("a lot" meaning all of it...), but it does help some.

[mrs izzy]

Check out our reference  library for maybe some helpful tips on coming out to your mom.

As said find the therapist somehow and work on your feelings.

[Athena]

Hi Adam welcome to Susan's