How much support did anyone here have before transitioning?

[Melissa]

My support consisted of Susan's, another forum, my support group, and my therapist.  Eventually I made many new friends as well and that helped as well.  Over time, I've pretty much dropped using everything except Susan's and my friends.

[Alexandria]

I have had the STRONG support of my Mom since I was 15.  My "transition" was more of a natural realization of the reality that my external gender was completely opposite of my true internal gender.  Mom used to describe me as her "gentle boy" and later dropped the boy and would refer to me as her "gentle sweetie".  My Mom and I have always enjoyed a close relationship, and it has been her undying support that has always supported me.  My sister has also been great.  My Dad, although kinda distant in the past, has now come fully around.  My extended family is another matter, some are cool, some are not......(but no family is perfect)....

[Hypatia]

NO support from my family.
NO support from my old friends. (had hardly any friends to begin with)
Essentially nothing from trans support groups. I checked out one, I did not feel it was for me, and I soon quit going.

What I did was, I went out and made TONS of new friends in the Pagan and LGBT communities (especially Pagans), and was soon having my best social life ever. I found there are a lot of very trans-positive people out there who gave me all the support I could wish for. Many people are just wishing for the chance to show support for trans people, if they could find any, and would warmly welcome you with open arms.

You should probably avoid Gardnerian, Asatrú, and Dianic, but in general, Pagans are probably the most promising bunch to find support among, and there are so many varieties, it increases your chances of finding some you like. I found a new spiritual home in Witchcraft, where I got all the support and affirmation I needed.

What if you can't swing Paganism for religious reasons -- For Christians, I think the MCC would be a good place to find support. Muslims are pretty much screwed, except that there is a Muslim LGBT support organization called al-Fatiha Foundation. I know a Muslim trans lady in Cambridge, Massachusetts who is accepted by the other women at her mosque, maybe she got lucky. For Jews, there exist some LGBT-friendly synagogues like Bet Mishpachah and Beth Simchat Torah.

For none-of-the-above folks, there's always Unitarians who are quite good on LGBT issues.

[Julie Marie]

As far as friends and family go, there was almost no support.  One thing I never heard from anyone I told was, "Julie, you need to transition!" or be yourself or whatever else you can fill in there.  There was a lot of silence and some compassion. 

When I decided I had to transition I realized no one was going to give me permission.  No one was going to encourage me to do it.  No one was even going to suggest it.  If I was going to make the decision to transition I was going to do it alone.

A man doing anything to emulate females is a big taboo in this society.  A man becoming a woman and (heaven forbid!) having GRS and losing the family jewels is the ultimate taboo.  You will never hear anyone who isn't trans tell you this is something you should do.  When I finally found inner peace was when I realized this and made the decision to transition. 

Julie

[Rachael]

no actually, my best friend in the world ever, told me i had to do this, had to keep at it, and be myself, she could see i was the real me, and happy, and she has forced me to keep at it when i was down.
i owe my best friend everything as she owes me for her life. I can see us being friends in 50+ years we are like the verticle legs of a triangle, we keep eachother standing.

R

[seldom]

Still transitioning but I have support groups, and I did not lose a single friend.  I have an ever expanding circle of friends.  I also have great open minded friends. 

I have absolutely no support with my family and I broke ties with them recently.

[Hypatia]

Still transitioning but I have support groups, and I did not lose a single friend.  I have an ever expanding circle of friends.  I also have great open minded friends. 

I have absolutely no support with my family and I broke ties with them recently.

I'm in the middle of the process of coming out to my family... no sign of support yet... but I'm taking the position that I have every intention of continuing to participate fully as a member of the family. If they choose to exclude me, it's their choice... and I've resigned myself to the possibility of being cut off by them.

How do you deal with it, Amy? It feels pretty tragic to me but after tons of heartbreak I seem to be getting tougher about it.