I need to update the above post. Normally I like to put thought into a post first, but I now know that yesterday this was not possible. And when I post I always try to provide a positive "with" the negative side of the post. Let me explain now what this was really about and the advice I can give in the learning experience.
I had the same Dr. for my first 8 months of transition, I was her first transgender patient. In my prior research for a Dr. I spent months looking for one with a record of transgender experience, understanding of our needs, and a proven hrt protocol. Once these were met I made my appointment only to find that the Dr. I was expecting was no longer at the clinic. Even though I was aware of the internal signs, I began a venture based on fear, I was scared to lose my place in advancement toward hrt and start over. I decided to go forth and add her learning curve to my situation.
All indicators in the advancement of my hrt seemed on track, although there was this undercurrent of trepidation and fear that all could be taken away. Too many unnecessary blood tests had become an integral and continuous process. Due to the fact that many biological functions have a natural fluctuation and is a normal expectation of "my" hrt situation, I was always kept in a state of fear that the next change could effectively stall or end my transition.
As of yesterday I have a new Dr. and because I now can see the difference that experience makes, my world has changed 180 degrees. Here is another aspect to why my post yesterday is insufficient. In just this short of a time, I can now understand how much anxiety was tied to my experience and with it how much unneeded fear was involved. This will take some time to slowly let go of and let it naturally dissapate.
So with all that said, and I purposefully kept my own hrt particulars vague because as they say, everyone is different, with different needs, here is a small amount of humble but well fought for advice:
1. Research, research, research, until you can begin to see and separate truth and fact from all else. Knowledge is power! I am not saying to spend some incredible amount of time, but enough to become comfortable with the various views.
2. Do not disallow and ignore that little voice inside, listen to it, more often than not it is the voice of reason.
3. Do not let fear rule! I truly understand that need for change, and how strong the want for the beginning of an hrt process.
4. Research for your Dr., ask around, get opinions about their strengths and weaknesses, and possible bias towards being stuck in the past, but rather have enough interest to search out new information so as to be current in their methods.
5. Once your Dr. has been found and because your research has been done, hopefully your confidence will not allow for #2 and 3 to happen. Ask questions about their own particular hrt protocols in detail, and if any portion of them seem vague ask why.
I had to learn the hard way and made my mistake on step # 2 and #3 in the very beginning. I'm putting all this up in hope some of it may help and you can avoid my troubles. I can in all confidence say I am where I need to be, and I wish you the best as well. Dani
