In my opinion, ultimate happiness is worth a bit of initial discomfort. Please don't try to sell yourself short because I know that you are a wonderful, brave, intelligent, kind human being and you are worth it. My suggestion is to go to your therapist again, or, if that one isn't working out, go try another one. Just keep investigating until you find someone who can help you. That is their job, after all.
Also, I would suggest to start a social transition if you want. Like asking some close, trusted friends to refer to you by different pronouns (which are okay to change later!) and start presenting differently in public or just around the house or with friends. Just trust in yourself that you matter and that your identity matters and needs to be expressed in any way that you see fit. Everyone on this site knows what you have been through. We love you. We want to help you in any way that we can. You are not wasting our time, because we want to make sure you are happy and comfortable as possible in your body and your life.
One final suggestion that has helped me with depression: On your mirror/door/somewhere you will see multiple times a day, write everything good about yourself in permanent marker. Make them bold, big, and definite, things that you are proud of in yourself, things that others love in you, and things that make you unique. You can draw pictures, too, if you'd like. Now every time you see these, you must read at least one of them and think to yourself "that IS true" and push any nagging doubts out of your mind. I believe in you. We ALL believe in you. You are a wonderful person, and you deserve to transition in any way you'd like.
You can do this!!! <|:)
