Hello,
I am a 22 year old trans woman from Missouri. Yes, you've read the title correctly... I am the child, biological child, of two gay men. Now you may think this warrants me some type "luck" when it comes to the issue of family acceptance; sadly I must say that is not the case. When I came out as transgender to my parents we stopped speaking for several months. I will call Dad #1, Dad #1 lol... He was furious!!! He said horrible things to me like telling me "You'll always be a man" or my favorite "You can't go against what God has made you." At first he never used my preferred name, only my birth name. He has since then started using my preferred name, but he always goes back and forth. I feel like it's intentional because he doesn't want to let go of that part of me.. His "son." This is very frustrating, especially in public. Whenever I talk about breast implants he gets so angry, and tells me its a horrible idea. He tells me when I get older I'll look terrible because I'm doing all of these changes to my body i.e. hormones, breast implants.. etc. it does scare me when he says things like that.
Now, Dad #2 was a little bit more accepting. However, he too misgenders me constantly. He says things like "Why would you choose to be this all the time? Why not just do drag, if you need an ultra feminine outlet?" He often tells me "I've done drag before, what you're doing is nothing new." My issue with Dad #2 is that he thinks I am a just playing dress up. Like I am a drag queen. Everything I do isn't good enough from my hair to my makeup they always find a flaw within me. He says if you're going to be gay you need to be all types of "gay", meaning not just feminine. I am not gay though, I am a woman, I want to be treated like a woman!!
I rarely go visit them now that I am on my own for these reasons. I wish we could have a better relationship, but I cannot be around this. They keep telling me I am a gay man.. No, I'm not! I am a straight woman. They view me and other trans woman as gay men. And I hate that. I came out as gay at 14, when I did they weren't too thrilled. However, they were understanding to some degree. They would tell me that the only way to be gay was to blend in with society by being masculine. So they dictated everything from my music to my clothing. I remember begging for them to purchase a pair of skinny jeans for me, because that was the latest fashion trend and they replied "No, they look too GAY!" Can you believe that lol... I was always very feminine, but was never allowed to express this while in their household.
How can I make them understand transsexualism? They are very stubborn, and I feel they aren't taking my transition seriously... Please help. I appreciate all respectful commentary.
XXXO
